One. You have a great nanny. She will ensure the kids are safe. Talk to her. Tell her it's already hard for you to hand over time with the kids and when she advises you it's just hard for you. Ask her to even if she has advice stop telling you. Keep her, so make it more about you than her. If she is otherwise livig and not too hard in the kids this isn't the worst problem you could have.

Dont let that happen you are the boss, she can give you ideas or tips but not advice you are the Mom

I had a similar dynamic with our nanny. She is fantastic and I trust her completely with our kids. She loves them like her own, which comes out in her attitude sometimes, and she has an inherent belief that no one else on the planet could take better care of them than her. This also comes out in little comments sometimes. And it's an issue.

So twice in her now 3+ year tenure with us I've had to have a very direct conversation. The first time I was upset, and got visibly upset while talking to her - which actually helped I think. I told her that I was so grateful that she was in our kids' lives and took such wonderful care of them, but that her comments like (and I quoted her directly) really upset me. She got it right away, apologized profusely, and the comments stopped.

Until about a year later when a few little things about "why didn't you do this, why didn't you do that when she got scraped"etc... started creeping back in. At that point I just got annoyed and said very directly to her that she needed to stop. That was about a year ago and it hasn't happened since.

That's more info than you needed but basically I agree that you need to tell her directly (calmly and professionally of course) that you are an experienced mother and driver (and whatever else) and will ask for her advice if you need it.

I totally agree that you need to nip it in the bud right now, for everyone's sake. It only gets harder to be direct as you get to know people better so start now.

It sounds like you need to have a conversation with your nanny basically saying "Nanny, I appreciate your experience and the care that you provide my children with but these comments need to stop. I am their parent and your employer, please respect that."

Are you working alongside her during the day? If so, then this is a deal-breaker since you both need to get along in order for this position to work out.

Or if you only see each other coming and going, perhaps you can tactfully let her know how you feel and let it go.

It just depends on how much contact you two have together on a daily basis.

Another nanny here and I agree with the previous poster that she may be grieving her old family. She shouldn't be acting that way with you, but it is very hard not to compare one family to the next, especially if you're coming from a beloved family you were with a long time. I recently left a family I was with for 5+ years and started with a new family and it has been HARD.

I think your nanny crossing the line,you have to stop her,I'm a nanny as well,I think she's need to have some respect for you.
Good luck!!

Anonymous wrote:
You really should communicate with your nanny, thank her for the advice but you are the mom. Also if she was with the family that long then started with you soon after she could be grieving that loss and in that case she may be starting a new position too soon.

OP here. I hadn't thought of that so thanks! That could certainly explain some of it.

You really should communicate with your nanny, thank her for the advice but you are the mom. Also if she was with the family that long then started with you soon after she could be grieving that loss and in that case she may be starting a new position too soon.

Have you brought it up to her? I'm a nanny and no way would I talk to my MB like this. You need to let her know you are he parent and employer, not the other way around. Let her know you appreciate her experience but you don't appreciate her comments. If she won't change, fire her.

She has been with us almost 3 months and something that I thought was amusing when she first started is starting to really annoy me. I have 3 children so I'm not a totally inexperienced FTM. She previously worked for 1 other family for a very long time but that was her only previous experience. Anyway, she likes to tell me what to do. For example, when she first started working for us and I was driving her around to show her where school was etc she would tell me I was too close to the car in front of me. Another time we took the 3 children to the zoo and when the baby got hungry we split up. She made of point of telling me to make sure I watch the older 2 and make sure not to loose them. Both the first 2 things I thought were funny because I'm pretty secure in both my driving ability and as a parent. I also was somewhat appreciative that she cared enough to tell me to be careful and it made me comfortable knowing that she would be careful with them as well. Now, however, it's starting to get on my nerves and part of that is because of the way she says it. Almost like she is yelling at me when she doesn't think I gave the baby an appropriate toy etc. I'm not really sure what to do about it, I think it's just her personality. I'm really not interested in looking for another nanny but I know myself and if this is annoying after just 3 months it's not going to get better and soon other little things are going to start to bother me as well.