You Girls should say the true. I believe open conversation. I never give my references unless I am really interested . The family- nanny match must be good for both sides.

I've used the commute excuse as well. I actually just interviewed with a family that lives 40 minutes away, and with 3 kids they only wanted to pay $10 an hour. So instead of saying it was the pay, I just said the commute was too long. But I guess saying pay is an appropriate excuse as well, although I fear it makes me come off as greedy and only caring about the money. But I got to be able to pay my bills.

With a family I don't click with and can tell their personality is going to be one thats difficult to work with, I usually end up telling a lie and saying I accepted another position. I feel badly lying, but there's really no good excuse when you live close by. You can't nicely say that you just don't think you'd end up liking them.

In my experience people only call references when they're very serious about hiring. It's quite a bit of work on the employer's side too, so most people don't bother unless they're serious about a candidate.

As a note, I too find it difficult telling a family that they aren't the right fit for me after an interview. My go to excuse has become "the commute". Families rarely know precisely where I live at that stage, and the commute is not something that can be changed or negotiated. I've found it's really gotten easier to remove myself from the running this way.

I email my resume with references before we do a phone interview. Some families opt not to call references until after an in person interview.

How do you nannies handle giving potential families references? Do you give every family you interview with a list of references before they've even decided to narrow you down as a candidate? I have 3 references so if I gave every family the list, my references would be getting called a lot. And sometimes after having an interview with a family, there are times where I can tell this is a family I don't want to work for. However they've asked for references during the interview and I don't want to say no, I don't think your family will work for me and decline the request just because I hate telling a family that they aren't a good fit for me. So I end up giving all potential families my references regardless if they've decided on me or even if I know I don't want to work for the family. My fear is the references i have will start becoming annoyed with me by getting so many calls. I can see both sides to this issue. On one hand I completely understand a parent needing references before deciding on candidates cause this is their child they are trusting the nanny with, but then on the other hand as a nanny you want to protect your references and not overuse them so they'll continue to be good references for you and not be annoyed by the constant calls.