Anonymous wrote:I got a bonus the week I was going to put in my notice. I felt bad and gave the bonus back with my notice. Mind you I have been with this family with no raise for 3 years.

I never got the bonus back.

You should have cashed the check, deposited cash into your account and then given notice. Next time don't be an idiot."

These stories make me sad. We have given gifts to our babysitters when they move on, I can't imagine not giving a gift to a nanny!

Maybe if there was some departing additional compensation the parents thought of THAT as the gift and did not think to do something more sentimental?

Probably they are just busy and terribly thoughtless. Sorry, OP!

I got a bonus the week I was going to put in my notice. I felt bad and gave the bonus back with my notice. Mind you I have been with this family with no raise for 3 years.

I never got the bonus back.

These stories all make me sad.

We had a beloved nanny who worked for us for several years before moving away. We had a farewell party, where the kids gave her gifts they had made, and my DH and I gave her a five figure bonus. She cried, I cried, the kids cried.

It's been a few years, but we still keep in touch.

pp here, forgot to mention, I lived with and worked for a family in Europe for almost a year. I was supposed to be "part of the family" and all that. We had family dinner together about 4 days per week and did things on the weekends sometimes too. To be honest I never felt particularly close to them, mainly because of the language difference but I spent a lot of time with them.

On my last day there I packed up my stuff (a large backpack and a large suitcase plus handbags) and went downstairs to find the dad alone, the kids had gone to a friend's house and the mom was out shopping (or something similar, can't remember). The mom ended up getting back before I left (by chance) so I said goodbye to them and walked myself and all my stuff down, about 1.5 miles, to the train station and took a train to the airport. If a young woman lived in my house, outside of her home country for almost a year, I would have driven her to the airport or at the very least, walked her to the train.

I was pretty bummed.

OP, anyone that says this isn't strange is crazy! even if you were expecting a gift, so what!? a normal family would present their departing nanny of 12 years (!!) with something on her last day, even a picture frame, homemade card, bonus (hello! I worked for a family for about a year, never even felt close to them and even they gave me a $ gift when I left).

On your last day, did you already have plans to see them in the future? Like a lunch date or an event? If so, that might explain why. Maybe they're planning to present you with something then?

Sorry about all of this, OP! It sounds like you're a great nanny and your MB just seems insensitive. On to bigger and better things though, I hope!

I know exactly how you feel. I was a full time live in nanny for 5.5 years for 3 little boys. I was "let go" due to the fact that the boys were all of school age and the mom said she wanted to stay home more. On the last night of me living/working there, MB was busy cooking a delicious smelling meal upstairs, as I was finishing packing downstairs. They never invited me before to family meals, but I thought that because it was my last night in their house, things would be different....no, nothing. Not even a good bye gift or card. They didn't even offer to help me load my Uhaul. I sat downstairs crying while they had dinner upstairs. It honestly still hurts 2 years later.

So OP, there are other insensitive employers out there. You did an amazing job helping raise someones children - just know you made the world a much better place.

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is a gift giver. After 12 years, the child is old enough to be home alone. Be grateful you've had a good job that long.

What? Is this how you treat people in real life? Is this how people treat you?

It sounds like you did expect a gift, OP.

Op here! Thanks everyone! I feel better just reading your comments.

I agree that a nice token of appreciation would have been a wonderful gesture on the part of the family.

But I guess some people just lack common sense OP.

Do not take it personally. It's just the way they are.

Sounds to me like they did like you since they do want you to stay in touch.

What?? Foh. She should have given you something.

Not everyone is a gift giver. After 12 years, the child is old enough to be home alone. Be grateful you've had a good job that long.

I'm sorry, OP. My guess is that she doesn't want to do a goodbye because she expects you'll visit and that's a pretty emotional thing to have to thank a nanny that's been working with you for that long. I hope she takes a moment to say something when you visit or writes to you to let you know how much your service meant.

This is just a vent. I worked for a family for 12 years. I went from full time to part time the last few years. Part time meant working from 3 to 6:30pm 5 days a week. It still seemed like full time bc I saw my charge everyday I just worked less hours and got paid less. Anyway we knew this summer will be my last days with my charge. We set a date and when it came around my MB said to me please make sure you still come visit and keep up with my charge. I didn't expect a gift but I was hurt that she didn't say thank you for the years we had. Maybe she was glad to get rid of me but it still hurts.