Anonymous
08/02/2014 11:05
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Why does a SAHM need an au pair? Wow...
Hmmm. I don't know. Why do you need to be a snarky bitch? You do not know anything about my life or my family but I feel sorry for you that you are so judgmental and unhappy with you own life.
Ok...help me understand why a SAHM with only two school aged children needs an au pair? Are you sick? Dying? Rich?
Why should she help you understand this when you have already judged her? It's not one shred of your business.
Read the post. She didn't judge her. She asked a logical question, seeing as how a SAHM doesn't work and is typically responsible for childcare. It reasonably begs the question, what are you doing if not caring for your kids? PP is just defensive. And I'll go ahead and make a judgement that her immediate defensiveness and unwillingness to answer the question likely means that her AP is purely a luxury that she feels people would judge her for. I certainly do. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would not foist my children onto someone else so that I could lay around being useless.
So you have the same bias as the original critical poster. Why should PP have to justify anything. Just because someone has some help with their kids doesn't mean they are foisting anyone. That could allow someone to have alone time with each child. One of the children could have special needs. She could be doing valuable volunteer work oh and maybe she and her husband like to have a date night once a week or she has a book club in the evenings and her husband travels. Maybe it is a luxury for her to not feel stressed all the time trying to coordinate car pools because she can't be in two places at one time. No matter what the reason some women will think she is not justified in having the AP but its her money and life and her business isn't it?
Anonymous
08/02/2014 09:52
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Why does a SAHM need an au pair? Wow...
Hmmm. I don't know. Why do you need to be a snarky bitch? You do not know anything about my life or my family but I feel sorry for you that you are so judgmental and unhappy with you own life.
Ok...help me understand why a SAHM with only two school aged children needs an au pair? Are you sick? Dying? Rich?
Why should she help you understand this when you have already judged her? It's not one shred of your business.
Read the post. She didn't judge her. She asked a logical question, seeing as how a SAHM doesn't work and is typically responsible for childcare. It reasonably begs the question, what are you doing if not caring for your kids? PP is just defensive. And I'll go ahead and make a judgement that her immediate defensiveness and unwillingness to answer the question likely means that her AP is purely a luxury that she feels people would judge her for. I certainly do. Even if I had all the money in the world, I would not foist my children onto someone else so that I could lay around being useless.
Anonymous
08/02/2014 08:05
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
We've had three au pairs, two of whom were wonderfully and one wanted to work as little as possible. The two that we're great have had very varied schedules - our first worked a consistent nine hours a day Monday to Friday all year. Our third works about 35 hours a week on a similarly consistent no weekends or holidays schedule during the school year, but the same schedule as our first during the summer. Neither complained - both we're hard workers and great with the kids and we did our absolute best to reward them for it (time off whenever possible, bonuses during the year, no restrictions on free time (we don't have a curfew or restrictions on where the car can go anyway).
Our second was a different story. Shockingly, she worked the least of all of ours due to our circumstances that year. 25 hours a week max except for a few weeks of the year. Same no weekends or holidays. She was awful - spent most of her time texting and made plans while on duty for the kids only if her friends were coming without a care that the friend au pairs kids were the same age as ours. Would complain about other au pairs sweet deals at least once a week - so and so has an every other week schedule because her host parents are divorced! Or so and so lives in a huge house and has her own suite! Or whatever. No appreciation for anything we did.
Anyway, all that to say - there are absolutely going to be a wide range of "deals" your au pair's friends get. If you get a whiner, she will be resentful and unhappy. Especially if you are one of these awful host parents that try to eek every last minute out of the 45 hours when you don't really need it, if you have them working every weekend, and/or if you are totally inflexible in allowing some schedule shifts for big things she's got going on.
If you get someone who gets that it's a job, has worked a job before, and you do a thorough job of explaining your situation, and you are a fair and welcoming host parent, you will be totally fine even if you are on of the host parents that needs an au pair 45 hours (and your au pair will certainly not be alone - seems like most of the host parents I know and have heard of use at least close to that for much of the year and definitely most do in the summer).
Good luck!!
Our second was a different story. Shockingly, she worked the least of all of ours due to our circumstances that year. 25 hours a week max except for a few weeks of the year. Same no weekends or holidays. She was awful - spent most of her time texting and made plans while on duty for the kids only if her friends were coming without a care that the friend au pairs kids were the same age as ours. Would complain about other au pairs sweet deals at least once a week - so and so has an every other week schedule because her host parents are divorced! Or so and so lives in a huge house and has her own suite! Or whatever. No appreciation for anything we did.
Anyway, all that to say - there are absolutely going to be a wide range of "deals" your au pair's friends get. If you get a whiner, she will be resentful and unhappy. Especially if you are one of these awful host parents that try to eek every last minute out of the 45 hours when you don't really need it, if you have them working every weekend, and/or if you are totally inflexible in allowing some schedule shifts for big things she's got going on.
If you get someone who gets that it's a job, has worked a job before, and you do a thorough job of explaining your situation, and you are a fair and welcoming host parent, you will be totally fine even if you are on of the host parents that needs an au pair 45 hours (and your au pair will certainly not be alone - seems like most of the host parents I know and have heard of use at least close to that for much of the year and definitely most do in the summer).
Good luck!!
Anonymous
08/01/2014 18:26
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Our children are older now (10 and 12), so we use only about 25ish hours/week usually, but on the weeks when the children have half days (happens at each of their schools once per month, and never on the same day), then we do end up using more hours. During school vacations, snow days, and when someone is sick, we run closer to 40-42 hrs/week.
When our children were young and we had our first AP, we actually did have a case of an AP who was resentful about her hours. She was a 19 year old German, working 45 hrs/week with a 3 and 1 year old, and her job was HARD compared to all of her friends' jobs. She was great at first but became resentful over time. She was definitely not suited for our job - we didn't know better at all and had allowed the agency to pressure us into hiring her, back when CCAP "matched" for you and gave you grief if you turned down more than two of their proposed matches. When her best AP friend, who had one of the 3-6pm driving-teenagers-around jobs, had to go home suddenly, our AP took her job, and we were all happy with the change. We have often said that she would have been a great AP for us nowadays, but she was really unsuited to the job we had then, only we didn't know enough to honestly call it what it was.
Anyway - when the children were young, we did much better by hiring older (22-24 yr old) Brazilian APs, whose friends were all working with young children as well. They all worked their 45 full hours between Mon and Fri and had every single weekend off, to play and party and travel and have a blast. We loved these APs, and they were really great for us at that time.
Once our children were 6 and 8 respectively, we switched to young Germans again and have been very happy with how this has worked out. Their friends all work the same split shift that they do (mornings and then afternoons/evenings with some occasional weekend work), and so no one is complaining because everyone is doing the same thing.
OP, as long as you are honest with your incoming AP and are very clear with her what the hours are like (we didn't know enough to really spell out, back in 2005, what 45 hours a week FEELS like with a 1 and 3 year old), then your AP will be fine. Hopefully she will make friends with APs who work the same schedule she does, so she won't think anything is odd about her hours.
Good luck!
When our children were young and we had our first AP, we actually did have a case of an AP who was resentful about her hours. She was a 19 year old German, working 45 hrs/week with a 3 and 1 year old, and her job was HARD compared to all of her friends' jobs. She was great at first but became resentful over time. She was definitely not suited for our job - we didn't know better at all and had allowed the agency to pressure us into hiring her, back when CCAP "matched" for you and gave you grief if you turned down more than two of their proposed matches. When her best AP friend, who had one of the 3-6pm driving-teenagers-around jobs, had to go home suddenly, our AP took her job, and we were all happy with the change. We have often said that she would have been a great AP for us nowadays, but she was really unsuited to the job we had then, only we didn't know enough to honestly call it what it was.
Anyway - when the children were young, we did much better by hiring older (22-24 yr old) Brazilian APs, whose friends were all working with young children as well. They all worked their 45 full hours between Mon and Fri and had every single weekend off, to play and party and travel and have a blast. We loved these APs, and they were really great for us at that time.
Once our children were 6 and 8 respectively, we switched to young Germans again and have been very happy with how this has worked out. Their friends all work the same split shift that they do (mornings and then afternoons/evenings with some occasional weekend work), and so no one is complaining because everyone is doing the same thing.
OP, as long as you are honest with your incoming AP and are very clear with her what the hours are like (we didn't know enough to really spell out, back in 2005, what 45 hours a week FEELS like with a 1 and 3 year old), then your AP will be fine. Hopefully she will make friends with APs who work the same schedule she does, so she won't think anything is odd about her hours.
Good luck!
Anonymous
08/01/2014 15:41
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Why does a SAHM need an au pair? Wow...
Hmmm. I don't know. Why do you need to be a snarky bitch? You do not know anything about my life or my family but I feel sorry for you that you are so judgmental and unhappy with you own life.
Ok...help me understand why a SAHM with only two school aged children needs an au pair? Are you sick? Dying? Rich?
Why should she help you understand this when you have already judged her? It's not one shred of your business.
Anonymous
08/01/2014 12:39
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
We use 45 every week. Kids are in parttime preschool now, so this may lighten the load a couple of hours. We are in our fourth year with the program and this is the first time our normal schedule may be below 45 hours. Both of our APs have extended, so it obviously wasn't a big enough issue that it would cause them to rematch. They generally work 4 ten hour days and a 5 hour day.
Anonymous
08/01/2014 10:28
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
We use 40-45 hours but she is off every weekend and holidays.
Anonymous
08/01/2014 10:04
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Why does a SAHM need an au pair? Wow...
Hmmm. I don't know. Why do you need to be a snarky bitch? You do not know anything about my life or my family but I feel sorry for you that you are so judgmental and unhappy with you own life.
Ok...help me understand why a SAHM with only two school aged children needs an au pair? Are you sick? Dying? Rich?
Anonymous
08/01/2014 09:35
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Why does a SAHM need an au pair? Wow...
Hmmm. I don't know. Why do you need to be a snarky bitch? You do not know anything about my life or my family but I feel sorry for you that you are so judgmental and unhappy with you own life.
Anonymous
08/01/2014 09:20
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
My au pair works 40-45 hrs in the summer time and holidays (winter and spring break).
During the school year, it's more like 25. Mostly driving, activities, and household work. Unless there's a sick day or something...then it might be more.
During the school year, it's more like 25. Mostly driving, activities, and household work. Unless there's a sick day or something...then it might be more.
Anonymous
08/01/2014 09:13
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
Anonymous wrote:I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Why does a SAHM need an au pair? Wow...
Anonymous
08/01/2014 02:16
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
45. We could use 55 in a snap. Keeping it to 45 is difficult.
Anonymous
07/31/2014 22:25
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
My DH and I both work outside the home and use 40-43 hours per week, all when we're at work On balance, our AP's schedule is near regular and they almost never work weekends. (If they do, we pay them a little extra as if we would have hired a sitter.) Yes, there are so APs who are looking to work as little as possible, but we try to weed them out during the interview process. If you have a good relationship with your AP, like a PP said, they aren't going to be unhappy over the number of hours. In fact, the only time I've heard of APs rematching over hours is when their hours don't allow them to have any social life whatsoever (every evening, or most weekends).
Anonymous
07/31/2014 21:12
Subject: Re:how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
I am a SAHM mom with two school aged children and our average hours are probably about 38-42. This includes time for laundry, straightening the kids rooms, date nights and lots of driving. I have never had an issue. If you choose someone who really wants the challenge of working with kids I find they do not resent the hours especially if you are are good host mom to them.
Anonymous
07/31/2014 16:33
Subject: how many hours per week does you au pair typically work?
We have a new au pair (our second) coming soon - and realized that many au pairs work far less than 45 hours and this makes some of the au pairs who work more resentful/want to rematch.
We did discuss with our soon-to-come au pair that since we have young children we do use most of the hours but want to figure out ways to mitigate possible resentments, etc, but also not sure what is true about what others' hours may be like.
We did discuss with our soon-to-come au pair that since we have young children we do use most of the hours but want to figure out ways to mitigate possible resentments, etc, but also not sure what is true about what others' hours may be like.