Oh, I also want to mention that she's totally amazing, totally fabulous. Love her lots. I just haven't had this conversation yet.

OP here. Yes, I do have a very sensitive toddler. It has always been like this. She loves her daddy, though, so that's great.

What happens is that I am still getting me ready, picking up the house, and getting her bag packed. When she arrives early, I then have to do all of that with the screaming toddler. It makes my last moments at home very stressful, and I end up forgetting or leaving things and just running out of the house.

I do need to mention it to her next time. And, if she needs to come early, it's totally cool, but the heads up would be great. I think there is also confusion because we pay her for a full hour, but I only need her for one of the half hours. I would rather give her more money than try to make change every time she sits for us. Everything is chaotic, so we never find time for these conversations.

She showed up early again today. We weren't home yet. It's just two mommies trying to work together with competing needs and understandings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your bigger issue here seems to be the screaming clinging toddler. Wouldn't the same thing happen even if she showed up 30 minutes later?

+1

Except then Mom could leave and not have to deal with the screaming, clinging toddler.

I do think though that the nanny could show up later.

OP, why is your daughter freaking out when the babysitter comes?

If she is coming from somewhere (e.g. Picking her own child up from care), she may not have a convenient way to fill that window. She may also feel that having some extra time at your house before she has sole charge of your daughter will help your daughter adjust. Unless you talk to her and figure this out you just sound like a complainer. It's fine if you can't invite her in 30 minutes early but you need to figure this out. You say "those 30 minutes were mine" - were yours...to what? To be alone with your daughter? To eat lunch in privacy? Why can't you just talk to her explicitly about what you would like to use that time for and ask if she and her child could walk around the neighborhood before coming to the house?

Just ask her to come closer to her start time.

Why does your daughter get upset when the babysitter arrives? In any case, if the babysitter is there early can she not care for your daughter and the other kids so you can finish what you need to do? Offer to pay her for the half hour, she's there anyway she may as well work.

Anonymous wrote:Your bigger issue here seems to be the screaming clinging toddler. Wouldn't the same thing happen even if she showed up 30 minutes later?

Your bigger issue here seems to be the screaming clinging toddler. Wouldn't the same thing happen even if she showed up 30 minutes later?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you, you know, talked to her about this?

She is with us 4 days a month and this has happened once a month. Just now established a pattern and a need.

Does it happen on the same day each month?

Anonymous wrote:Have you, you know, talked to her about this?

She is with us 4 days a month and this has happened once a month. Just now established a pattern and a need.

Have you, you know, talked to her about this?

It is always nuts a my house. Always nuts with kids. I get that. But some days our babysitter (with her own kid in tow) shows up 30+ minurltes early. I finally had gotten DD calmed down, but upon seeing babysitter, I now have to finish what I am doing with a screaming baby. Screaming, climbing, clinging.

I get it, she has a kid, too. But I needed that extra 30 min. Those were mine.