OP here. Yes, there is an industry standard regarding benefits. There is no law saying your nanny gets benefits but some things are common practice. I already explained that the benefit package changes to fit the particular employment relationship. If she was an ER doc or a single mom or the President then sure, we can discuss alternatives. Only a person who has lived under a rock in a dark cave for the last 50 years thinks nannies should work around the clock. She will find a nanny, just not me.

Smart nannies consider all possibilities and don't whine about pretend ideas of "industry standards". The poster isn't whining in my opinion.

In your opinion.

In order for her to pay your salary to maintain a job for you, she has to maintain hers. If she only gets 2 weeks vacation and a few sick days, that doesn't leave her with anything if the kids and you are sick or anything goes wrong. You sound unreasonable. She needs to maintain her job so you can have yours.

I'm sure she isn't a single mom let their father stay home with them then.

Industry standard - there is no such thing. In order for her to pay your salary to maintain a job for you, she has to maintain hers. If she only gets 2 weeks vacation and a few sick days, that doesn't leave her with anything if the kids and you are sick or anything goes wrong. You sound unreasonable. She needs to maintain her job so you can have yours.

Smart nannies consider all possibilities and don't whine about pretend ideas of "industry standards". The poster isn't whining in my opinion.

MB here and I'm glad you had other offers to accept OP. This woman did you a favor by showing you who she was this clearly.

Bullet dodged.

I'm a mother of twins - she'll learn some painful lessons about where to haggle and what to let go over the next few years!

Seems like you dodged a big headache!
Good thing she showed her true colors
now rather than later. I think the same
Woman contacted me but I didn't want
to leave my family early.

No, there is no industry standard on anything in the nanny profession, although I certainly understand why you want potential employers to think there is.

Everything is negotiable.

Your example shows how little you do understand about negotiating a contract. Three sick days instead of five?! Horrors! Except not. Sick days are a part of comprehensive compensation plan. Many employees and employers decide to have fewer sick days for other perks, like health insurance, or more vacation time for international travel.

Smart nannies consider all possibilities and don't whine about pretend ideas of "industry standards".

I'm a nanny.

I hope you accepted the offer of one of the other families and not the haggler?

Eeek. Huge red flag. In my experience, employers like that woman are the ones who expect you to do adult laundry and scrub the toilets whil the babies nap.
Run. Run fast.

I just accepted an offer over the weekend. One of the three offers I had was with a FTM. MB had two beautiful kids (twins) and I really wanted to accept her offer. BUT - she haggled me over every single part of the contract. Not polite inquiries, hard core lowest bidder haggling. I felt like I was at a garage sale debating the price of tubber ware.

Nothing is set in stone but some things are industry standard. At this point in my career, the details don't fluctuate a ton. My benefits are always industry standard with a few small tweaks to reflect the specific family's needs. So, when a potential MB wants to haggle me over details like only giving 3 sick days instead of five - not worth my time people. She actually asked me if I were to have two weeks of vacation whether I would expect to use it all!

Apparently, she had done enough research to know what is standard. Bu her approach is more what I would expect of someone buying a used car under blue book value. Not the way to attract a good nanny.