Anonymous wrote:OP here again. Okay - fair enough. I can understand why posters are jumping all over me.

The getting burned thing is definitely an emotional response. But - hey - it is a personal relationship and she is leaving to go to another family. I just felt like she could have at least talked to us about what was going on first. We paid a lot of extra $$$ and bonuses to her b/c we all had the expectations that she'd be around for another year.

And 4 weeks notice is in her contract.

She did what you asked of her, as far as noticed. You can't really complain about that. Also, bonuses while a good tool for retention, are supposed to be rewards for a job well done. Your employee doesn't then owe you something because of a bonus. Expectations change. If you had lost your job, or needed to move, you would have let her go. Her having expectations that she'd have a job for another year wouldn't make a difference right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How are you being burned? Sounds like she has given you 2 years of fabulous service and flexibility in exchange for good pay and flexibility on your end. She is giving you 4 weeks of notice, which is extremely generous and is being flexible, at that. You should be thanking your lucky stars.

OP here. Not sure where you got the "fabulous service and flexibility". She is getting paid to do school work and NOT work...a lot. Hence, my feelings of getting burned b/c she is taking a new nanny job when she had indicated she'd be with us for another year until youngest gets to school.

You feel burned because she is quitting or because she did schoolwork, and you chose to pay a FT nanny for PT hours? Firstly, the 2 situations have nothing to do with each other. You're mad because you feel taken advantage of. Understandable to an extent, but recognize that you created that situation for yourself. You should be mad at yourself.

Now the second situation is about her quitting. She has every right do this, whenever she pleases, and she has done it as gracefully as can be expected. You have no right to be indignant because she found a better job. Maybe she could tell that you were bitter over the unused hours? It doesn't matter what her reasons are, she has a right to leave. Put on your big girl panties and get it together.

OP here again. Okay - fair enough. I can understand why posters are jumping all over me.

The getting burned thing is definitely an emotional response. But - hey - it is a personal relationship and she is leaving to go to another family. I just felt like she could have at least talked to us about what was going on first. We paid a lot of extra $$$ and bonuses to her b/c we all had the expectations that she'd be around for another year.

And 4 weeks notice is in her contract.

Anonymous wrote:How are you being burned? Sounds like she has given you 2 years of fabulous service and flexibility in exchange for good pay and flexibility on your end. She is giving you 4 weeks of notice, which is extremely generous and is being flexible, at that. You should be thanking your lucky stars.

OP here. Not sure where you got the "fabulous service and flexibility". She is getting paid to do school work and NOT work...a lot. Hence, my feelings of getting burned b/c she is taking a new nanny job when she had indicated she'd be with us for another year until youngest gets to school.

Anonymous wrote:OP, it doesn't sound like you got burned. It just sounds like you don't have the strength to insist that the nanny refrain from studying on the job and that you guaranteed more hours than you typically need. These are your mistakes.

When you hire a new nanny, offer to guarantee only the hours you typically need but say that you need scheduling flexibility so she must be available for overtime during whatever additional hours you might need. For example, you will guarantee work until 4 pm but she needs to be available until 5:30 each day. Nannies on this board will say you can't do this, but many employers do require and get exactly this kind of flexibility. Plenty of top-notch nannies are just fine with that kind of arrangement.

As for the studying, just be clear up front about how you expect her to spend her work time. I tell all applicants during the interview that we expect her to stay busy with agreed-upon tasks while the kids nap, and that any studying, lengthy phone calls, Internet use, or personal business must be limited to her one-hour lunch break. It's never been a problem, but as the employer, it is your job to set expectations.

Yep I'm going to be one of those nannies who disagrees. If you are only paying me until 4, you only have me until 4. I will make adjustments and help out when I can, but if I can't my time is my own and I'll do with it as I please. Yes there are employers in other industries that get this kind of flexibility. Their employees are paid a salary and do not have set hours. This obviously does not translate to a nanny who is an hourly employee. Pay for the availabilty that you want (perhaps at a lower rate) or don't expect said availability.

OP, it doesn't sound like you got burned. It just sounds like you don't have the strength to insist that the nanny refrain from studying on the job and that you guaranteed more hours than you typically need. These are your mistakes.

When you hire a new nanny, offer to guarantee only the hours you typically need but say that you need scheduling flexibility so she must be available for overtime during whatever additional hours you might need. For example, you will guarantee work until 4 pm but she needs to be available until 5:30 each day. Nannies on this board will say you can't do this, but many employers do require and get exactly this kind of flexibility. Plenty of top-notch nannies are just fine with that kind of arrangement.

As for the studying, just be clear up front about how you expect her to spend her work time. I tell all applicants during the interview that we expect her to stay busy with agreed-upon tasks while the kids nap, and that any studying, lengthy phone calls, Internet use, or personal business must be limited to her one-hour lunch break. It's never been a problem, but as the employer, it is your job to set expectations.

NP MB here. I agree with others that you are not being burned, OP. Your nanny has every right to move on and she is being very accommodating. You are lucky and it would be in your best interest to recognize this and make her last four weeks with your family pleasant.

It sounds like you are aging out of FT nanny care. I think preschool and aftercare are good options, maybe supplemented with a PT sitter, depending on your schedule, would work.

OP, you are such a jerk. You do not own your nanny and add she has absolute right to leave your employ.

Anonymous wrote:How are you being burned? Sounds like she has given you 2 years of fabulous service and flexibility in exchange for good pay and flexibility on your end. She is giving you 4 weeks of notice, which is extremely generous and is being flexible, at that. You should be thanking your lucky stars.

+1

Get over yourself OP. 4 weeks of flexible notice is great and you should be excited for your nanny and whatever she's moving on to next. Or have you forgotten that she too is a human being with aspirations and a life outside of your household? You didn't get "burned" - you experienced a normal part of employing someone. Grow UP.

Agree with PP that its odd that you feel you are being burned. This is why nannies fear for their references no matter when or how they give notice. If it isn't the employer who initiates the separation, the nanny can't win.

OP, you really need to get over yourself. She gave you 4 weeks notice, and is being flexible about it. Be grateful, not petty. If you are bitter about paying full time hours for a part time nanny, stop doing it? Hire someone for the 30 hours you need, and be prepared to scramble on snow and sick days like everyone else.

As an alternative, consider lowering your hourly rate to reflect the ease of the job. Offer $16-$18/hour for 45 hours, but let candidates know that they will typically work closer to 30. Make it clear that you still expect them to be available, and use the full schedule occasionally.

MB here: I am not sure why you are upset bitter. It sounds like you had a good run at 2 years and she is giving you plenty of time to find a replacement so I think you are good shape. Only you can decide if another nanny is the right fit for your family, but if you decide to go in that direction put together an ad describing the position and place it on Care.com and any local list serve. I recently had to replace our nanny and it took about a week to find someone.

I would do a AM and till 3 preschool for the 4 year old and hire a babysitter to pick up and do from 2:40 till you get home. At four a child would probably be happier with other kids.

How are you being burned? Sounds like she has given you 2 years of fabulous service and flexibility in exchange for good pay and flexibility on your end. She is giving you 4 weeks of notice, which is extremely generous and is being flexible, at that. You should be thanking your lucky stars.

Do you have room for an au pair? I think they get very popular with families with school age kids for the exact reason that many others aren't happy working a split schedule during the year/ft in the summer.

The other thing to consider is would you even be able to get in to sacc for this school year? Those wait lists can be long, and they start taking names for the list like a year in advance.

Our nanny of 2 years just gave us notice (4 weeks and she is being flexible, which is nice). I'm a little bitter about it b/c I feel that we've been overly accommodating toward her (she gets paid probably about 15 hours/week - at $20/hour - that she doesn't actually work). She has also been in school (online) and we've let her study at our place without complaint (though it is clear that our kids are pretty much being ignored by her during those times).

Whatever - all in all, it is probably not a horrible thing that we are parting ways with her.

But now that we've been burned, I'm not sure whether to hire another nanny (we've only had nannies since my oldest was born 9 years ago) or go another route (SACC for 2 kids in elementary school and maybe a full time preschool for 4 yo?). I am just having a hard time stomaching paying a nanny for full time hours (45+ hours) for 3 kids when she really only works around 30 hours/week during the school year.

But I also like the flexibility of a nanny, especially with all the snow days and 2 hour delays and vacations in Ffx Co. schools.

Has anybody gone through this and offer thoughts/experiences?

Thanks in advance.