Anonymous wrote:Babies can't be spoiled but they can be taught bad habits. Never allowing a child to problem solve or self soothe teaches them they are only safe/secure/loved when they are in your arms. It sounds counter intuitive but a securely attached child should not need to be held constantly, that is a sign of an insecure attachment. Separation anxiety is entirely normal at her age, but your description sounds like there is something more going on.

Ask MB how you two can lovingly and respectfully teach DC that she is safe/secure/loved even when she is not being held.

Just saw that it has only been three weeks. If you have experience dealing with attachment and have a strategy, think you need to give it more time. If not, then MB needs to help you make a plan.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. When I try to put her in a high chair he starts wailing before her bottom wen touches the seat. If I try to do tummy time, she clings to me and I cannot even put her on the floor. If I make any move like I'm gonna put her down she cries.

Has she been checked for bone-spurs or reflux? This is beyond normal separation anxiety. Her development is being stunted by not playing on the floor or even sitting in her highchair.

I posted earlier not to let her cry - and I retract that advice. If she has no physical issues, you have no choice but to let her cry and pretend to ignore it. Put her in her highchair, start feeding her, talk and laugh with her as if she was cooing and smiling instead of screaming. Eventually she should learn that she is safe in her high chair, play mat/floor, stroller.

Wow - that is a really horrible situation for a nanny to be in! I'm sorry, OP.

Babies can't be spoiled but they can be taught bad habits. Never allowing a child to problem solve or self soothe teaches them they are only safe/secure/loved when they are in your arms. It sounds counter intuitive but a securely attached child should not need to be held constantly, that is a sign of an insecure attachment. Separation anxiety is entirely normal at her age, but your description sounds like there is something more going on.

Ask MB how you two can lovingly and respectfully teach DC that she is safe/secure/loved even when she is not being held.

Anonymous wrote:How long have you been caring for this baby?

3 weeks and it had been like this for the whole time. Mb says she's been like this since 4 months. I bathe her but he screams the whole time. She also screams when I change her and when I put her down to use the stove. When she sleeps if I put her down, she wakes up and screams.

How long have you been caring for this baby?

Don't put her down and please don't let her cry. This is a phase that will pass very soon. She is not going to pass up walking on her own (and all the freedom and fun involved in walking) because she want you to hold her.

I am assuming she plays on the floor with you near her, takes a bath with you near her, sleeps, eats etc. without being held. I think PP is right and she doesn't want you or MB out of her sight because something has frightened her.

Op here. When I try to put her in a high chair he starts wailing before her bottom wen touches the seat. If I try to do tummy time, she clings to me and I cannot even put her on the floor. If I make any move like I'm gonna put her down she cries.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will the baby sit on the floor and play with you near her but obviously not holding her? Will she sit in her high chair for meals?

I agree an 8 mo old can't be "spoiled" but I'm wondering if she may have some other health issues.

Like what? Affluenza?

Please don't bore me.

Anonymous wrote:Will the baby sit on the floor and play with you near her but obviously not holding her? Will she sit in her high chair for meals?

I agree an 8 mo old can't be "spoiled" but I'm wondering if she may have some other health issues.

Like what? Affluenza?

This is certainly the age for that behavior to peak but if she hasn't been put down much up until this point, if this isn't a regression due to the developmental stage she's in, you're going to have to ease into it. Make sure she has somewhere to sit that is stimulating and safe - this could be an exersaucer or it could be in her high chair with yogurt "finger paints" or whatever arrangement her parents have - and sit with her. Talk to her, pretty much constantly, as you play with her, even if she's upset. This is where "distract, redirect, distract" starts...it lasts a few years. If she's still inconsolable after a few minutes, pick her back up and try again later. Remember she has to learn/you have to teach her how to do this skill, she wasn't born knowing it.

Once you can get her seated on her own for an activity without too much drama you can practice leaving the room. When I did this I would start talking and continue talking as I left the room and then would quickly reappear. As she gets used to that, knowing she can hear your voice and you'll be right back, you'll be able to gradually leave for longer periods of time, hopefully enough to wash your hands or use the bathroom.

Will the baby sit on the floor and play with you near her but obviously not holding her? Will she sit in her high chair for meals?

I agree an 8 mo old can't be "spoiled" but I'm wondering if she may have some other health issues.

Mb just lets her cry.

My nine-month-old charge doesn't let me leave the room for a second to make his bottles or do dishes. My life is lived one-handed!

It's most likely a phase - they get separation anxiety around this age.

How is mb managing? The same way, never put her down?

Maybe she's spoiled but mb says it's impossible to spoil an 8 month old. I hold her while doing everything. I am able to use an ergo so that I can go to the toilet and eat. As soon as I put her down she wails constantly. Advice?