Anonymous wrote:Yikes, 5:50, you are the ignorant one. No one said to snap out of it. Posters very responsibly suggested that OP work with her charge on his fear. And no one said it would be an easy fear to eradicate.

Try reading the thread next time before posting silly.

Phobias, by definition, are a disorder. Clearly, you don't know this. OP's charge is going to live a long time in a world with dogs. She would be doing him a great service by helping him understand and maybe overcome his fears. It won't be quick
and it won't be easy, but it's important to help him navigate the world confidently.

NP.

17:55 did say that she thought the boy's fear needed to be conquered. It may not say "snap out of it" but I think we all understood the implication that he needs to "get over" his fear (which I strongly disagree with) and that is what 5:50 was responding to.

Maybe this boy has a phobia or maybe he is just aware that he is small and some dogs are big and their teeth are right about face-level. Only time will tell, but respecting his fear is the right way to go - not forcing him into terrifying situations in the name of overcoming it.

Yikes, 5:50, you are the ignorant one. No one said to snap out of it. Posters very responsibly suggested that OP work with her charge on his fear. And no one said it would be an easy fear to eradicate.

Try reading the thread next time before posting silly.

Phobias, by definition, are a disorder. Clearly, you don't know this. OP's charge is going to live a long time in a world with dogs. She would be doing him a great service by helping him understand and maybe overcome his fears. It won't be quick
and it won't be easy, but it's important to help him navigate the world confidently.

Some people are truly afraid of dogs...This is a legitimate phobia and is not eradicated so easily.

People have many different phobias and some people do not understand them so they try to minimize them which is so wrong. They lack empathy for less common phobias and think people should just "snap out of it." Some people have a fear of clowns. Others have a fear of puppets.

Maybe not common, but still quite real to anyone who is suffering from these types of fears.

So to say that the five yr. old boy should just "face" his fear like it is that easy is a very ignorant statement.

I agree with others that there isn't very much you can do to fix the situation if you can't go to another park and you can't effectively get all the irresponsible dog owners to be responsible.

Is there a way you can work with your charge on his fear? You mention that the dogs don't actually bother you, they are just in the area, running around but largely ignoring you. Maybe you can help him be more comfortable in the space where there are dogs.

1) Call the city and complain - and write a follow up letter. I'm in LA, too on the west side and all the cities are really coming down hard on unleashed dog owners.

2) talk to the parents and tell them that the only park with in walking distance is over run with unleashed dogs - it's dangerous and their son is terrified to the point of tears.

3) I don't actually have a "3" - just to say I'm sorry for you and your little guy. I really hate irresponsible dog owners (and I love dogs).

Anonymous wrote:If he were 25 I wouldn't necessarily say this, but at 5, I say he needs to learn to get over his fear and I'd work on that. Every time we went to the park, we'd work on getting over the fear.

Disagree. A five year old is very vulnerable to a dog attack and unleashed, fast-moving dogs should be a little scary to him. That's a healthy and rational fear. We can't possibly say for sure that all those digs are nice and won't hurt him because we don't know that, so should the nanny lie and say so? Nope! Kids know when you're BSing them.

OP, no one is going to have any suggestions for you. You need to tell the parents the situation and ask them what they do or would like you to do. If this is true, tell them that some of the loose dogs even make YOU nervous. Make sure they understand this is a serious issue of anxiety and not just an annoyance.

n Have you talked to the parents? What have they said?

Nevermind allowing his parents, to do some actual parenting. No, no, no. That's NANNY'S job. Thanks. I knew it.

If he were 25 I wouldn't necessarily say this, but at 5, I say he needs to learn to get over his fear and I'd work on that. Every time we went to the park, we'd work on getting over the fear.

Honestly OP, this is probably not a situation you are going to be able to change. Legal or not, certain places often become sort of unofficial dog parks and you are going to be sitting on the phone with the police all darn day if you want any tickets issued (and honestly they will probably come through once, fine everyone present and not come back again).

Find a new place to play.

This child's parents need to step-up and do a little parenting here. Don't they care about their child? They need to take care of this issue however they want, as long as you get a reasonablely safe place to go.

Call the city and complain enough times that they take action?

I live in CA and the law here is that dogs must be leashed at ALL times.

Well I currently watch a five-year old little boy and I am not allowed to drive him anywhere, but there is a park right down the block from his house that we walk to every day.

Problem is, there is a lot of open grassy space there and many people there allow their dogs, usually large ones, to run unleashed.

My charge is absolutely terrified of dogs. It's a huge issue for him. When he sees a dog, he gets frightened and starts to shake and try to hide behind me.

It is hard for him to enjoy his time at the park because we like to play hide & seek and soccer ball on the grass, but most of the time cannot because of the dogs running around. They do not bother us per say, the dogs just run and leave us alone, but my charge is so scared that the dogs are even there to begin with and are unrestrained that he won't even let go of me in the grassy area.

Now it would make sense for me to talk to these dog owners, right? Well the problem for is that there are many many people on any given day who do this. Yes, they are the ones breaking the law and yes, they are in the wrong, however there are tons of people doing it and no one bats an eye to it. Everyone seems okay with it. I would be like the bad cop if I said something.

Going to another park is not an option as this is the only park within walking distance.

Thank you DCers for any great advice/input you can volunteer!