Anonymous
06/18/2014 17:16
Subject: Grandma advice
Yikes...Nothing could be worse than being micromanaged by Grandma.
If you feel you cannot talk to her, then by all means discuss your concerns with the parents.
If you feel you cannot talk to her, then by all means discuss your concerns with the parents.
Anonymous
06/17/2014 18:46
Subject: Re:Grandma advice
I don't think you can change this situation, based on your followup post. Culture is resistent to change and elders are loathe to give up a worldview that has served them in the past - I am speaking from personal experience of having a double identity with my ethnic family and my American day-to-day life. If you are considering leaving the position though then it can't hurt anything to try as your last resort to speak with the parents. Even if they don't feel they can change her behavior it will be good have them aknowledge your efforts to make her feel valued and perhaps give you a little more bonus at year end for doing what really should be their burden of keeping he rinvolved at her age so she does not feel useless.
Anonymous
06/17/2014 18:27
Subject: Grandma advice
This would not work for me. Looks like she wants your job, OP. She needs to feel useful. I can understand that.
Anonymous
06/17/2014 17:53
Subject: Grandma advice
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Make Grandma part of your team. If she is there before you dress the baby, ask Grandma to dress her. Ask if she would like to go with you to places. Get her on your side. Or, just learn to let whatever she says slide off your back.
Ignore the comments and just keep it positive. Or say things like, thank you for that suggestion, I will keep it in mind for the next time.
If it really becomes an issue, speak to the parents.
Aye, I do this constantly. It seems the easiest route. She's mostly nice and has a good heart, but since she came to live, my autonomy is zero. I finally bargained for gym alone today- she goes everywhere with us- because with me, the baby is adventurous, with gm present, she clings to her and cries.
I'm also dealing with cultural differences, there's a bit of a servant mentality that's old school- we take care of you, but you do everything we ask. The parents are more modern but even so my job creep has been crazy. But, when I was sick, they paid for two weeks off (I was very ill), and I get random days off when they vacation. They value me but I feel put upon many days. I'm so used to being trusted and having autonomy with the kids. It's an adjustment and I want to learn and grow, since this is a long term position.
I feel with the cultural idea of accept all family, no matter what, speaking up might make it worse. At my year sit down, I thought I'd ask for positive suggestions for getting along with gm best I can. I've heard the dad argue with her, but not mom.
Then you really need to sit down and talk with the parents. Maybe Grandma needs a gentle nudge to find her own life and not cling to you and the baby all the time. I don't know if she is new to the area or has moved in because she can't be on her own, but she just could be uncomfortable with getting out on her own.
Anonymous
06/17/2014 17:24
Subject: Grandma advice
Anonymous wrote:Make Grandma part of your team. If she is there before you dress the baby, ask Grandma to dress her. Ask if she would like to go with you to places. Get her on your side. Or, just learn to let whatever she says slide off your back.
Ignore the comments and just keep it positive. Or say things like, thank you for that suggestion, I will keep it in mind for the next time.
If it really becomes an issue, speak to the parents.
Aye, I do this constantly. It seems the easiest route. She's mostly nice and has a good heart, but since she came to live, my autonomy is zero. I finally bargained for gym alone today- she goes everywhere with us- because with me, the baby is adventurous, with gm present, she clings to her and cries.
I'm also dealing with cultural differences, there's a bit of a servant mentality that's old school- we take care of you, but you do everything we ask. The parents are more modern but even so my job creep has been crazy. But, when I was sick, they paid for two weeks off (I was very ill), and I get random days off when they vacation. They value me but I feel put upon many days. I'm so used to being trusted and having autonomy with the kids. It's an adjustment and I want to learn and grow, since this is a long term position.
I feel with the cultural idea of accept all family, no matter what, speaking up might make it worse. At my year sit down, I thought I'd ask for positive suggestions for getting along with gm best I can. I've heard the dad argue with her, but not mom.
Anonymous
06/17/2014 16:25
Subject: Grandma advice
Make Grandma part of your team. If she is there before you dress the baby, ask Grandma to dress her. Ask if she would like to go with you to places. Get her on your side. Or, just learn to let whatever she says slide off your back.
Ignore the comments and just keep it positive. Or say things like, thank you for that suggestion, I will keep it in mind for the next time.
If it really becomes an issue, speak to the parents.
Ignore the comments and just keep it positive. Or say things like, thank you for that suggestion, I will keep it in mind for the next time.
If it really becomes an issue, speak to the parents.
Anonymous
06/17/2014 16:24
Subject: Grandma advice
Ugh - that's awful.
Talk to your bosses and tell them what is going on. They need to nip it in the bud, but it has to come from them not you. Hopefully they don't realize what a tough position they're putting you in and they will do something about it.
GOod luck.
- MB
Talk to your bosses and tell them what is going on. They need to nip it in the bud, but it has to come from them not you. Hopefully they don't realize what a tough position they're putting you in and they will do something about it.
GOod luck.
- MB
Anonymous
06/17/2014 15:52
Subject: Grandma advice
Hi all. This is my first time asking for advice here, please be gentle. 
I've been a nanny/household manager for 9 years. For the past year I've been working for a lovely family, with one issue- one grandmother now practically lives here. She seems wonderful but is very type A and likes to slip in comments about my job every day. Today, after taking the baby to gym, I was told I dressed her shabbily. Didn't even ask hiw she did, even tho she was brave and we had stories to tell. It's constant and I'm trying to tune it out. Mom and dad don't fuss at me, so I assume it's just because I'm here with grandma ALL DAY.
I've been a nanny/household manager for 9 years. For the past year I've been working for a lovely family, with one issue- one grandmother now practically lives here. She seems wonderful but is very type A and likes to slip in comments about my job every day. Today, after taking the baby to gym, I was told I dressed her shabbily. Didn't even ask hiw she did, even tho she was brave and we had stories to tell. It's constant and I'm trying to tune it out. Mom and dad don't fuss at me, so I assume it's just because I'm here with grandma ALL DAY.