Anonymous wrote:If an MB was posting that her nanny was declining to stay late claiming one reason when it was really another, most posters would be claiming that the nanny is untrustworthy and should be fired.
How is this any different?
What does it matter WHY this MB is lying, she is, period. Its kind of a big deal.
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps OP's MB reads this board and sees the judgement that many display toward working moms, particularly when they don't spend all of their free time with their kids. I'm fairly sure that nearly every single MB has felt some guilt surrounding the choices that she makes, particularly when she chooses "me" time. OP, I wouldn't worry about this at all. All it means is that your MB feels guilty about taking some time for herself, this has nothing to do with you or your relationship with her.
Anonymous wrote:If an MB was posting that her nanny was declining to stay late claiming one reason when it was really another, most posters would be claiming that the nanny is untrustworthy and should be fired.
How is this any different?
What does it matter WHY this MB is lying, she is, period. Its kind of a big deal.
Anonymous wrote:If an MB was posting that her nanny was declining to stay late claiming one reason when it was really another, most posters would be claiming that the nanny is untrustworthy and should be fired.
How is this any different?
What does it matter WHY this MB is lying, she is, period. Its kind of a big deal.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Let it go. My hunch is that she's either feeling judged by you in some way, or she's judging herself for choosing some personal time.
It's not really any business of yours as long as she gives you notice, you agree to stay, and you're paid - right?
I can tell you as a WOHM, and employer of a nanny, and someone who struggles mightily with trying to be a good mother/wife/employee/friend/daughter/sister/aunt/godmother and general citizen, that life is a constant struggle to juggle everything. I spend my life making difficult choices about time and priorities, and always feeling guilty about at least 2 things I'm not doing in any given day.
Choose the high road and try not to care at all, or to choose a compassionate interpretation. Be an ally, not an accuser.
OP here. I think my MB is a wonderful mother and I've told her so. I even said if she needs personal time or if DB and MB need a date night, I'd be happy to watch my charge. I don't ever make her feel guilty, but I know her mother and MIL have made comments about them making me work too much and her and DB not spending enough to time with their child. Maybe she worries I think the same.
Yes, maybe. But really - we are always our own worst critics (except for truly rotten people). I can almost guarantee that this has practically nothing to do with you and is just a function of her own conflicting feelings.
I know it may seem really silly to you, but being a mom is tough. And the version of that where you're also trying to have a career and maintain personal relationships is one I'm familiar with. I can imagine behaving like your MB and if I was lying to the nanny about why I needed her to stay it would be about my own issues, not anything to do with the nanny at all.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Let it go. My hunch is that she's either feeling judged by you in some way, or she's judging herself for choosing some personal time.
It's not really any business of yours as long as she gives you notice, you agree to stay, and you're paid - right?
I can tell you as a WOHM, and employer of a nanny, and someone who struggles mightily with trying to be a good mother/wife/employee/friend/daughter/sister/aunt/godmother and general citizen, that life is a constant struggle to juggle everything. I spend my life making difficult choices about time and priorities, and always feeling guilty about at least 2 things I'm not doing in any given day.
Choose the high road and try not to care at all, or to choose a compassionate interpretation. Be an ally, not an accuser.
OP here. I think my MB is a wonderful mother and I've told her so. I even said if she needs personal time or if DB and MB need a date night, I'd be happy to watch my charge. I don't ever make her feel guilty, but I know her mother and MIL have made comments about them making me work too much and her and DB not spending enough to time with their child. Maybe she worries I think the same.
Anonymous wrote:Let it go. My hunch is that she's either feeling judged by you in some way, or she's judging herself for choosing some personal time.
It's not really any business of yours as long as she gives you notice, you agree to stay, and you're paid - right?
I can tell you as a WOHM, and employer of a nanny, and someone who struggles mightily with trying to be a good mother/wife/employee/friend/daughter/sister/aunt/godmother and general citizen, that life is a constant struggle to juggle everything. I spend my life making difficult choices about time and priorities, and always feeling guilty about at least 2 things I'm not doing in any given day.
Choose the high road and try not to care at all, or to choose a compassionate interpretation. Be an ally, not an accuser.