Anonymous wrote:It's their kid. You roll with it and take care of their child the way they want or you roll out. Even if its dangerous if the parents are around it's not your problem.

How do you keep that emotional distance? Do you just stop yourelf from caring in the first place? I agree with what you are sayiing. It ould be nive if I could just turn m feelings off like light switch. Damn human heart, grrr.

Wow...Just wow.

These parents sound like complete morons. Idiots.

I don't know how I could ever work for parents who had such a disregard for safety in regards to their young toddler.

Everything you mentioned sounded so dangerous.

But as their employee, you can only do so much. You can suggest and suggest until you are blue in the face, but it seems everything is going through one ear and out the other.

Just keep your finger's crossed when you are not around that he stays safe is the best you can really do in this situation OP.

It's their kid. You roll with it and take care of their child the way they want or you roll out. Even if its dangerous if the parents are around it's not your problem.

Anonymous wrote:(OP) Sometimes I feel like MBs have no idea the level of stress nannies have to deal with. This job is hard on the heart and the body. We are asked to create an attachment with our charge, people say they don't want a warm body. Then, we are asked to pick and choose when to feel the attachment. As though I could ever watch a baby pick up something dangerous and not have my heart jump into my throat. I don't know if I can do this career anymore. I am burned out. I am at risk of staying on but being disengaged. The worst kind of nanny.

Mothers often want you to attatch, because they know it's best for their child. But then they get insecure and jealous about it. It's fucked up. Why don't DBs ever have this problem??

Anonymous wrote:Persistent, continuous stress wears the body down. A lot of people think they must be weak to be affected by low grade stress but its actually the silent daily stress that finally gives you a heart attack in Monday morning traffic.

So true. If only they knew what they were doing to us. This can't be good for their child.

Persistent, continuous stress wears the body down. A lot of people think they must be weak to be affected by low grade stress but its actually the silent daily stress that finally gives you a heart attack in Monday morning traffic.

(OP) Sometimes I feel like MBs have no idea the level of stress nannies have to deal with. This job is hard on the heart and the body. We are asked to create an attachment with our charge, people say they don't want a warm body. Then, we are asked to pick and choose when to feel the attachment. As though I could ever watch a baby pick up something dangerous and not have my heart jump into my throat. I don't know if I can do this career anymore. I am burned out. I am at risk of staying on but being disengaged. The worst kind of nanny.

I agree with others. This situation sounds too severe to properly deal with.

Best wishes.

Anonymous wrote:You can't. Find a new job.

Correct answer. I've done this for a year. I spent tons of my personal time coming up with chart, systems, ideas, rewards etc that me and the parents could do together to be on the same page, no matter how simple they never followed through. It's so much easier to just buy their love and behavior with gifts and promises when you only see them for an hour a day. You can make little changes that occur when they are with you, but you know they won't last and the feeling of just losing all that work is frustrating. I couldn't do it anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't. Find a new job.

This. Sorry, OP. These "parents" care nothing about being respectable parents, nor about your obvious concern for their child's basic safety. There's no hope for people like them. Cut your loses and move onto something more reasonable.

You have to move on.

My charge has a friend whose parents are like this and I have to watch him like a hawk when we are invited over. Other child (toddlers) has come running into the living room with scissors, sewing needles, batteries in his mouth, a glass vase...it's unbelievable. I would not work in that house because I would not want to be on duty when something INEVITABLY happens.

Sorry, OP.

Anonymous wrote:You can't. Find a new job.

This. Sorry, OP. These "parents" care nothing about being respectable parents, nor about your obvious concern for their child's basic safety. There's no hope for people like them. Cut your loses and move onto something more reasonable.

MB here. I see three options:

- sit down and talk to your employers about finding common ground in your approach. (Which should have happened as part of the hiring process IMO.)
- accept that it's their house/their kid, their rules and live with it.
- find another job that's a better fit

Even if the employer's are amenable to the conversation I think is necessary, my hunch is you will still end up having to decide between options b or c. This sounds like a fairly fundamental difference in approach.

You can't. Find a new job.

Sorry for my typos. I am working from my mobile.

I walk in at 7:15 am. DC is chewing on the tip from a colored pencil and I see marker on his lips an tongue, presumably he has been sucking on the lime green sharpie in his hand. Another morning I arrive to find DC playing with a bungee cord, which has a hook on either end. Yet another day DC, 15 months old, has been given round ice cubes the size of marbles as a play toy while the parents get ready.

Each time I point out that there are safety and choking hazards I am met with disinterest. "Didn't kids used to do all sorts of crazy things back in the day?" If I reach to take the offensive thing away, I am scolded in a sing song voice "it's not polite to just take things from another persons hand. How about we respect one another's space." I suppose I am supposed to ask the baby to hand over the item and wait for him to do so.

I am giving these examples a a preview. The real problem is that in this house, every single thing is a toy. I have watched the kids use people's toothbrushes to poke at dusty wall vents. At the worst, if something truly horrid is in hand, the parents look at me to set the boundary and then rush in with hugs when DC is in a heartbroken tantrum.

How can I turn this around? How do I balance my desire to respect the parents with my desire to protect their child?