Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

If a child spilled a plate of spaghetti in your lap and the family didn't have cameras would you walk around with no pants on? What about the windows? Or if the parents came home early? I really don't buy excuses like these as reasons to tell nannies about cameras. It's weird to walk around someone else's house (in front of children old enough to eat a plate of spaghetti) half dressed under any circumstance. Take a change of clothes with you and change in the bathroom whether or not there are cameras please!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

It depends on what state she lives in although no state allows both video and audio taping a domestic worker without notifying them. Some states allow one or the other.

Parents like you are the reason my husband bought me a camera detector, so that if your child spills a plate of spaghetti on my lap and I have to wash my pants no creepy parents get to stare at my ass. You get to do a ref and background check on the candidate and that's enough. The family on the other hand usually refuses to provide a nanny reference and we have no way of knowing whether they are total creeps.

DS has his potty chair in the bathroom because its a fairly large room where the potty can fit. Its also where we go immediately after an accident because there is no carpeting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

PP, two things. She does not NEED to tell the nanny if she uses a nannycam, although I agree it is the proper thing to do. Also accidents in underwear (and the subsequent shaming, if it happens) pretty rarely occurs in a bathroom. No one is suggesting she put cameras focused on toilets, my lord.

Anonymous wrote:Which preschool is happy to change poop out of your boy's pants? All I hear is about preschools who make you come and get your kid who has poop in his pants. Doesn't he need a bath to get properly cleaned up?

Anonymous wrote:I am in the process of potty training my charge. I prefer to use underwear because I have also noticed that he is more likely to request the potty. Is there any reason it has taken a long time? If there is some sort of issue then be sure she understands how this experience will be different than other kids.

At the same time, I wonder if you are slowing down the process. We decided to focus on potty training this week so everyone is staying in the house or close to the house all week. We put him on the potty every twenty minutes. We sing a fun song, I cheer and clap at whatever he does. Giving plenty of opportunities to use the potty turned out to be the key. I got the twenty minute tip from a daycare and thought it was worth trying since they have to deal with it all the time. After just a few days it is becoming routine and he gets excited to go. The only time we use pull-ups is when he sleeps.

If you want to use nanny cam then you need to tell her. Also, if he is using the bathroom then it ail be illegal/disgusting to keep a cam in there anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Potty training is hard! Has your nanny done it before? It sounds like you need to sit down and have a real talk about both of your opinions - yes, you are the parent, but you won't be able to get her on board if you don't hear her out and understand where she's coming from. Does she think your son is too young, is she new to potty training and grossed out by the poop, does she think pull ups make sense for naptime or long outings but is willing to go with underwear at home? Figure out where she's at and we can help you from there.

HOWEVER, as a nanny the line about your nanny "not seeming pleased" with a potty training accident is a tiny red flag to me. You don't want any of DC's caregivers ever making him feel shamed or frustrated during this process and if you could see her unhappiness, he probably could too. This is something very important to message to her and to keep an eye on yourself, for your son's sake.

OP here and that's my concern. He also goes to preschool and his teachers there have been wonderful and really understanding with the whole process so I know he's fine there but I'm worried about the nanny's reaction. She's generally very good with him and is very careful and aware of what she says to him but I wasn't there when this happened so I'm not sure how she reacted. If he was upset or embarrassed he may have said something to me, which he hasn't, but I'm not sure. I know I need to sit down and have a bigger discussion with the nanny about the potty training. We haven't talked about her past experience with it but her last family she worked for had 2 children who were 2 and newborn when she started with them and she stayed for 8 years so presumably she went through potty training with at least 1 if not both of them.

My DC is definitely not too young, he's already 3 1/2 and we've been working on this for a long time. We have talked about it at length with our pediatrician and I'm sure we are on the right path. I just have to make sure the nanny helps to continue it. Oh and I should add he does wear a pull-up when he sleeps although he's actually almost always dry when he wakes up and he even will wake up during the night to go to the bathroom now. It's just the pooping that we are working on.

Anonymous wrote:Potty training is hard! Has your nanny done it before? It sounds like you need to sit down and have a real talk about both of your opinions - yes, you are the parent, but you won't be able to get her on board if you don't hear her out and understand where she's coming from. Does she think your son is too young, is she new to potty training and grossed out by the poop, does she think pull ups make sense for naptime or long outings but is willing to go with underwear at home? Figure out where she's at and we can help you from there.

HOWEVER, as a nanny the line about your nanny "not seeming pleased" with a potty training accident is a tiny red flag to me. You don't want any of DC's caregivers ever making him feel shamed or frustrated during this process and if you could see her unhappiness, he probably could too. This is something very important to message to her and to keep an eye on yourself, for your son's sake.