Nanny here. What I look for:

Initial contact: all about logistics, when, where, how, financials, hours, etc. Email or online messaging is all about ruling out dealbreakers.

Initial phone conversation: is about rapport. Do the things I know about this person bear out via phone--if their add said they were very into X discipline style, can they talk about that comfortably? Also guaging whether this person is someone who shares sense of humor, can readily answer questions, seems to communicate well with me--are we a good fit?

In person: ruling out red flags. Is the home filthy, is the other parent on board with what we discussed, any problem behaviors with the children that weren't addressed, etc.?

Of course, her grammar is very important. If she uses a lot of slang and not a lot of proper words, then that will put me off to meeting her in person. Also, her phone manners/etiquette is important as well. If we are in the middle of a conversation and she takes another call + puts me on hold for a long time, then that would be a deal-breaker. Or if she pauses to look at a text message. Also, if she is doing something else while on the phone...Such as checking e-mail or some other distraction. She needs to be 100% professional and concentrated on our conversation.

Chemistry is so important and good chemistry can usually be detected in an initial phone conversation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed you can usually tell when someone is "heavy" over the phone, and since I have two young, energetic boy I could not make due with an overweight nanny. So I try to take not of that to avoid wasting each others time. And if I really can't get a feel for it over the phone I usually will just ask. "Are you really athletic?" and if not they will say things like "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to get in shape" and so on.

I'm an over weight nanny. I'm about 190 I take care of 4 very active boys just fine ages 2, 2, 4 and 5. I keep up with them just fine. We go swimming, jump on the trampoline ect. Just because a nanny isn't in shape shouldn't be a reason to not hire. Now if she was 250 plus that is different in terms of actual mobility.

Well to be fair I didn't mean overweight as in "not super model perfect". So if 190 is good enough to hang with active kids then so be it, I was going with the second thing you said mostly.

Don't you usually see a picture before speaking on the phone? I always have a profile picture so people can tell I'm not skinny but over weight. If someone asked are you athletic I would say no but that I can keep up with young children just fine.

I do not think I have ever seen a picture before an interview unless it was on a website like care.com. people don't send a photo when applying through email to a job board posting

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed you can usually tell when someone is "heavy" over the phone, and since I have two young, energetic boy I could not make due with an overweight nanny. So I try to take not of that to avoid wasting each others time. And if I really can't get a feel for it over the phone I usually will just ask. "Are you really athletic?" and if not they will say things like "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to get in shape" and so on.

I'm an over weight nanny. I'm about 190 I take care of 4 very active boys just fine ages 2, 2, 4 and 5. I keep up with them just fine. We go swimming, jump on the trampoline ect. Just because a nanny isn't in shape shouldn't be a reason to not hire. Now if she was 250 plus that is different in terms of actual mobility.

Well to be fair I didn't mean overweight as in "not super model perfect". So if 190 is good enough to hang with active kids then so be it, I was going with the second thing you said mostly.

Don't you usually see a picture before speaking on the phone? I always have a profile picture so people can tell I'm not skinny but over weight. If someone asked are you athletic I would say no but that I can keep up with young children just fine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed you can usually tell when someone is "heavy" over the phone, and since I have two young, energetic boy I could not make due with an overweight nanny. So I try to take not of that to avoid wasting each others time. And if I really can't get a feel for it over the phone I usually will just ask. "Are you really athletic?" and if not they will say things like "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to get in shape" and so on.

I'm an over weight nanny. I'm about 190 I take care of 4 very active boys just fine ages 2, 2, 4 and 5. I keep up with them just fine. We go swimming, jump on the trampoline ect. Just because a nanny isn't in shape shouldn't be a reason to not hire. Now if she was 250 plus that is different in terms of actual mobility.

Well to be fair I didn't mean overweight as in "not super model perfect". So if 190 is good enough to hang with active kids then so be it, I was going with the second thing you said mostly.

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed you can usually tell when someone is "heavy" over the phone, and since I have two young, energetic boy I could not make due with an overweight nanny. So I try to take not of that to avoid wasting each others time. And if I really can't get a feel for it over the phone I usually will just ask. "Are you really athletic?" and if not they will say things like "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to get in shape" and so on.

I'm an over weight nanny. I'm about 190 I take care of 4 very active boys just fine ages 2, 2, 4 and 5. I keep up with them just fine. We go swimming, jump on the trampoline ect. Just because a nanny isn't in shape shouldn't be a reason to not hire. Now if she was 250 plus that is different in terms of actual mobility.

I've noticed you can usually tell when someone is "heavy" over the phone, and since I have two young, energetic boy I could not make due with an overweight nanny. So I try to take not of that to avoid wasting each others time. And if I really can't get a feel for it over the phone I usually will just ask. "Are you really athletic?" and if not they will say things like "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to get in shape" and so on.

PP again. I'd also like to add, similarly to your example, it's like if you are on a date and your date says they know without a doubt they never want to have children and you are 35 and want 4 children. Sure, they could change their mind but why would you waste your time dating someone who says they don't want children when you could just as easily find someone who does?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us personally, I am looking for someone who could be with us for at least 5 years. It's something I bring up on the phone because I don't want to waste someone's time with an in person interview if they know they want to go back to school in a year and are only looking for a short term job.

Can you really plan for a 5 year commitment? That seems like something that just happens, to bring up a possible 5 year commitment in an interview (phone or in person imo) is like saying I love you on the first date. You need to wait and see how things work out so there's really no point in asking that at this point.

Well, here's what I told the last candidate: "Obviously no one knows with certainty what the future holds and we can't know for sure how this will work out but if we are all a good fit, ideally we would really like to have someone long term who would want to stay with us for at least 5 years." Her response was "Well, then I don't think I would be a good fit because I do plan to go back to school in about a year." We ended the call on good terms, she appreciated that I didn't waste her time and I appreciated that she didn't waste mine. We both wished each other luck. We have since hired someone who was with her last family for 10 years. She is a career nanny and is looking for something similar to her last position where she can be for a long time. She of course also has all the other qualities we were looking for as well. Obviously we can't say for sure this will work out but what is the point of hiring someone who already knows they won't stay more than a year at most? Some nannies (I'm probably some parents as well) on DCUM like to talk about the revolving door of nannies and how that is detrimental to children. I'm not sure I actually agree it causes any long term problems but certainly it is more difficult for children in the short term to keep changing nannies. If I KNOW that someone is definitely not going to stay for the next several years why would I hire them when I had tons of candidates who wanted something long term. I completely understand if you DON'T want to stay that long and there are certainly any number of short term jobs too, you would just not be a good candidate for me. Also, I'm not actually asking for a 5 year commitment. I can't expect anyone to agree to that but I'd like to know it's a possibility as opposed to hiring someone I know will only stay for a year.

Anonymous wrote:For us personally, I am looking for someone who could be with us for at least 5 years. It's something I bring up on the phone because I don't want to waste someone's time with an in person interview if they know they want to go back to school in a year and are only looking for a short term job.

Can you really plan for a 5 year commitment? That seems like something that just happens, to bring up a possible 5 year commitment in an interview (phone or in person imo) is like saying I love you on the first date. You need to wait and see how things work out so there's really no point in asking that at this point.

For us personally, I am looking for someone who could be with us for at least 5 years. It's something I bring up on the phone because I don't want to waste someone's time with an in person interview if they know they want to go back to school in a year and are only looking for a short term job.

You can usually tell someones general age over the phone without asking. For those of you looking for older nannies (I just was reading the pregnancy post) you should be able to narrow the field by voice.

Complete fluency in English is one. But also that she is articulate, polite and pleasant. Her first questions to me should be about the children or she'll never get an in person interview.

I'm willing to hire a nanny that doesn't speak english as her first language, but when we are talking over the phone I can't understand more than 10% of what you are saying in "english" then I will pass.

What kind of things are you moms looking for when you are having that first phone conversation with a potential nanny who seemed perfect on paper?

I just was speaking with someone who has experience and other great things on her resume, but over the phone she sounded so urban and uncultured. I really wouldn't want DC to pick up that style of speech.

But I did get to wondering what else can you learn about someone over the phone besides just the answers they give to your questions. Or another way to ask it is what is something about someone you can find out over the phone that would make you not want to go ahead and meet them in person?