OP, I hate confrontation just like you do. I tend to dread those conversations too.

However if you are 100% sure you want to leave this current position, then you must give notice as soon as you know so she can find someone soon.

You are right. She may find someone immediately and kick you to the curb. Make sure you have enough financially to live off of before you give notice.

It's better for everyone involved if you do not stay if you will not be happy. Because if you stay, you will just become more and more bitter and since there are precious children involved here, they unfortunately will be the ones who will suffer the most.

Sadly you may never see them again, but that is the risk you will have to take. I am sorry that may happen. Unfortunately some parents tend to put their own needs/wants ahead of what is best for their own families.

Anonymous wrote:No one should ever be mean to someone, and hopefully it won't be too painful to have the conversation.

However, you are quitting a job you took without thinking it through, for reasons that haven't changed since it was offered to you initially. You never should have said "yes" without a lot more thought, and you know it. Your change of heart means she is back to square one looking for a nanny, so of course she'll be upset.

This conversation will be a brief blip in your life, and you'll be happier for it; take the difficulty of it as the price you pay for making a promise you can't keep.

This is very true, and it is why I am giving so much notice. I may have to scrape by for a while, but I want her to have time to find someone. And I did try to think it through, but some of it is things that were slight issues before ( micromanaging and discipline issues) but have grown along with her stress level from the pregnancy.

No one should ever be mean to someone, and hopefully it won't be too painful to have the conversation.

However, you are quitting a job you took without thinking it through, for reasons that haven't changed since it was offered to you initially. You never should have said "yes" without a lot more thought, and you know it. Your change of heart means she is back to square one looking for a nanny, so of course she'll be upset.

This conversation will be a brief blip in your life, and you'll be happier for it; take the difficulty of it as the price you pay for making a promise you can't keep.

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask about your concerns to see if she would be willing to make any changes, so you could stay and make it work?

I have addressed some of it. She says maybe I will take the kids to classes once the baby is born because she won't be able to, and she was willing to offer more hours, but all of the hours will need to be very flexible (basically 24/7, but they will let me know 5 week before the schedule for that week), so even with some overtime from them, I will still be earning less and the flexibility reqired will mean that I still have a chaotic schedule, which was the main reason I wanted to work full-time. Basically, it's a job that I know I will burn out on quickly and I know it will be better for everyone if I quit now rather than when she has a 3-month-old.

Sounds like you just need to get it over with OP. Once you're free of it you'll breathe a huge sigh of relief. It's like breaking up with someone - it's crummy to do but you feel better as soon as it's done.

Good luck.

Also - do you really need to give 5 weeks notice? I'm an MB and I think it's wonderful that you're giving this much notice, but maybe you only give 3 or 4 weeks and then your risk is minimized a bit?

Can you ask about your concerns to see if she would be willing to make any changes, so you could stay and make it work?

I have been working two part time jobs. One mb is pregnant and asked me to become full time in July in anticipation of baby' birth around labor day. I jumped at the chance to be full-time, because it would reduce my stress level considerably, but as time has passed, I am realizing that this is not going to work for me. The mom is a SAHM who doesn't let me drive with the kids, so I will be trapped there all day (there are 2 neighborhood parks, walking distance, which is the only place we can go) and she tends to micromanage. I will have to be live-in instead of live out, which means they only plan to pay $12 per hour, but I am living wih family and paying only a small rent anyways, so it will really reduce my take-home. Add to that that they seem to disagree with me on most discipline issues and it has become very stressful. I have a summer job lined up and will give 5 weeks' notice, but I fully expect her to be furious and fire me on the spot. Ugh. There is a knot in my stomach knowing how upset she will be and knowing that I may never see the kids again.