If she is in violation of the contract, then you are well within your rights to point that out. Saying that she shouldn't be held to the contract because she didn't bother to read it before signing is absurd. You can let it go if you really, really like her otherwise, but in my opinion, this is the beginning of the end. Either she goes on this vacation in violation of the contract and of her verbal commitment to you and all future interactions are seen through this light and you grow more and more resentful, or you make her adhere to the contract and she gets grumpy and resentful because you are "mean." If I were you, I would line up a replacement before committin to taking off 2 weeks you can't afford.


+1. Even if you really like her the resentment of what she did will not go away. The fact that not only was she inconsiderate but also in violation of her contract is enough that I would find a new nanny.

+2. If the contract states 4 weeks notice and she signed it, then she is in violation of the notice and you could deny the request. You need to decide if the three week notice vs the four weeks is enough to find a new nanny. Otherwise, there isn't much you can do if you grant the request.

If you decide to keep her and take LOP to cover for her, I would remember her inconsideration at bonus and raise time and likely not give either.

Anonymous wrote:If she is in violation of the contract, then you are well within your rights to point that out. Saying that she shouldn't be held to the contract because she didn't bother to read it before signing is absurd. You can let it go if you really, really like her otherwise, but in my opinion, this is the beginning of the end. Either she goes on this vacation in violation of the contract and of her verbal commitment to you and all future interactions are seen through this light and you grow more and more resentful, or you make her adhere to the contract and she gets grumpy and resentful because you are "mean." If I were you, I would line up a replacement before committin to taking off 2 weeks you can't afford.

+1. Even if you really like her the resentment of what she did will not go away. The fact that not only was she inconsiderate but also in violation of her contract is enough that I would find a new nanny.

If she is in violation of the contract, then you are well within your rights to point that out. Saying that she shouldn't be held to the contract because she didn't bother to read it before signing is absurd. You can let it go if you really, really like her otherwise, but in my opinion, this is the beginning of the end. Either she goes on this vacation in violation of the contract and of her verbal commitment to you and all future interactions are seen through this light and you grow more and more resentful, or you make her adhere to the contract and she gets grumpy and resentful because you are "mean." If I were you, I would line up a replacement before committin to taking off 2 weeks you can't afford.

OP here -- let me be clear. I'm not going to tell her she can't take vacation. I believe she deserves vacation. It's more the issue that she did not communicate with me when we had earlier conversations regarding my leave situation and our vacations or my request that she try to plan at least one of her vacations around ours. At no point did she say, "no that won't really work for me," or "well I'll try but I'm not sure that I can do that," instead she said "yes, of course, I understand." So I'm upset on a personal level that I thought we had an understanding and that we apparently did but only until a better plan arose -- no this isn't a family vacation this is an impromptu trip with a friend to another country. And yes our contract provides for her to plan one of her vacations around ours and to give 4 weeks notice. But as I said, she never read the contract -- which I didn't know until after hiring her -- and she is a good nanny in all other respects. I don't think of myself as a queen. I am extremely accommodating to her and respectful of her time and her life. I just feel she wasn't of mine. And that makes me unhappy and realizing perhaps I'm giving more to this relationship than she is willing to give.

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time OP. That being said, it sounds like all of this is a problem of your own creation. You have a nanny to whom you awarded 2 weeks of vacation, and it seems like you used yours up without leaving enough to cover it. I'm sorry, but that really isn't her problem.

If there is nothing in her contract dictating the amount of notice required, or that her vacation must overlap with yours, you don't really have a leg to stand on. It would have been nice of her to heed your requests of consideration, but only you know what kind of relationship you have with her, and whether or not flexibility and consideration is something you show towards her. I know that I would not feel right doing this to an employer who is kind and flexible with me, while with others are cold and rigid I might not care so much.

If you have nothing in your contract to fall back on here, you can recognize that this really is your problem and figure out how to deal somehow, or you can make it her problem, refuse the request, and cross your fingers that this doesn't do irreparable damage to your working relationship.

I would suggest that, whatever happens, you take note of this situation and amend your future contracts to include an appropriate notice period for long vacation requests (Mine is 2 weeks for a one week request and 30 days for 2 weeks, so I don't think that is your main issue here) and if your leave situation is tight you may want to require one of her weeks to overlap yours (This may lose you some candidates in the future. I do not take jobs with this contingency.) Good luck!

+1

I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time OP. That being said, it sounds like all of this is a problem of your own creation. You have a nanny to whom you awarded 2 weeks of vacation, and it seems like you used yours up without leaving enough to cover it. I'm sorry, but that really isn't her problem.

If there is nothing in her contract dictating the amount of notice required, or that her vacation must overlap with yours, you don't really have a leg to stand on. It would have been nice of her to heed your requests of consideration, but only you know what kind of relationship you have with her, and whether or not flexibility and consideration is something you show towards her. I know that I would not feel right doing this to an employer who is kind and flexible with me, while with others are cold and rigid I might not care so much.

If you have nothing in your contract to fall back on here, you can recognize that this really is your problem and figure out how to deal somehow, or you can make it her problem, refuse the request, and cross your fingers that this doesn't do irreparable damage to your working relationship.

I would suggest that, whatever happens, you take note of this situation and amend your future contracts to include an appropriate notice period for long vacation requests (Mine is 2 weeks for a one week request and 30 days for 2 weeks, so I don't think that is your main issue here) and if your leave situation is tight you may want to require one of her weeks to overlap yours (This may lose you some candidates in the future. I do not take jobs with this contingency.) Good luck!

Totally disagree that 3 weeks is enough notice for two whole weeks especially falling shortly after maternity leave. Vacation is still a request - my work sometimes does not approve my requests for a particular week if it is very bad timing as it sounds like this is. Is there some major event going on? Otherwise I would tell her you can't approve that week and urge her to let you know further ahead the dates she is thinking of so you can approve them or ideally aim to coordinate your vacation with some of hers. It may be that she does not want to overlap vacation at all and that is why she gave you so little notice...

If you have a written contract does it outline how much notice is required or whether any of her vacation time is at your discretion? If it doesn't, then there's not much you can do here.

3 weeks is enough time. Can't you plan your vacation around hers?

3 weeks notice is reasonable. The issue here is not how much notice she gave you - it's when she's choosing to take her vacation and how that impacts you because of how little leave you have left. Unfortunately for you, the amount of leave you have left is your problem, not your nanny's.

Does she have a major family event planned for those 2 weeks? I find it hard to believe that she would just plan an impromptu 2 week vacation after agreeing to attempt to take it around your vacation and to give you as much notice as possible. It seems like something popped up all of a sudden.

It's all about you isn't it? I'm guessing your maternity leave was in the winter? Yes instead if having two weeks of in June, she should have taken it in February to please the queen!! I think more notice would have been nice, but unless its in your contract that she has to give X amount if notice or plan vacations around the queen, then I guess you're SOL!!!

I would tell her, no, you cannot manage without her or you need to find someone reliable.

How long have you been together?

Our nanny just informed us that she is taking two weeks vacation in three weeks. This is after we had discussions where I told her that I had very little leave left at my job b/c I just returned from maternity leave and laid out all of our planned vacations, so that she could try to plan at least some of her vacation around ours. I also said that if she planned to take vacation other than around our vacations I needed as much notice as possible. When I was on maternity leave I told her that if she wanted to take a lump sum vacation (i.e., both of her weeks together, then I'd really appreciate it if she'd do it before I returned to work b/c I would have very little leave left). During these discussions she seemed like she understood and was amenable to it. So I am a little taken aback that she just asked for two full weeks of leave in three weeks. I am in a really crappy position b/c I don't have enough leave to stay home with my kids for two weeks, my husband will be traveling for work and we have no family in the area. So I will be taking leave without pay. I'm really irritated by the whole thing and feel like she's left me in the lurch. Don't get me wrong -- I want her to take vacation. I know it's good for her and for my kids for her to get a recharge. But I feel like she kind of threw any consideration of my situation out the window. And, yes we have a written contract, but I don't think she's ever read it. I've been flexible b/c overall she is a good nanny and I want to be accommodating. But this instance (on top of another one where I feel little notice was given to us on another issue) has made me feel a little betrayed. Am I overreacting? And if I am not, what is a fair way to avoid this problem in the future?