Anonymous
05/16/2014 17:43
Subject: need advise plz
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:MB here. I don't think there is anything you could (or should) do to try to force a former employer to give a reference.
If I were interviewing you here is what would impress me:
- references from other people/families for whom you babysat or provided care during the past 6 years or before that
- any documentation you can provide where your former employer praised your performance
- a calm, concise explanation "My former employer was very angry when I gave notice so she refused to give me a reference. I hope that my six year tenure with the family speaks to their satisfaction level with my performance and reliability."
- for an answer as to why you left I would not get very specific about your former employer's emotional behavior. After six years you can very easily just say you were looking for a new environment, or younger kids, or whatever. If you want you could say that your employer had a tendency to lose her temper and be quite loud and you would prefer a calmer environment - or something like that. But take the high road and be professional and limited in what you say.
Any nanny that had a six year tenure with the prior family is going to impress me, so I think you can manage the reference issue.
Good luck.
What do you think the chances are that this bitch of a MB paid her on the books? Pay stubs to prove employment would be mighty handy, don't you think?
Well, if a job candidate has to resort to showing me pay stubs to prove employment then things are not good. So "mighty handy"? No, not really.
Dishonest MBs are not good.
Anonymous
05/16/2014 13:45
Subject: need advise plz
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:MB here. I don't think there is anything you could (or should) do to try to force a former employer to give a reference.
If I were interviewing you here is what would impress me:
- references from other people/families for whom you babysat or provided care during the past 6 years or before that
- any documentation you can provide where your former employer praised your performance
- a calm, concise explanation "My former employer was very angry when I gave notice so she refused to give me a reference. I hope that my six year tenure with the family speaks to their satisfaction level with my performance and reliability."
- for an answer as to why you left I would not get very specific about your former employer's emotional behavior. After six years you can very easily just say you were looking for a new environment, or younger kids, or whatever. If you want you could say that your employer had a tendency to lose her temper and be quite loud and you would prefer a calmer environment - or something like that. But take the high road and be professional and limited in what you say.
Any nanny that had a six year tenure with the prior family is going to impress me, so I think you can manage the reference issue.
Good luck.
What do you think the chances are that this bitch of a MB paid her on the books? Pay stubs to prove employment would be mighty handy, don't you think?
Well, if a job candidate has to resort to showing me pay stubs to prove employment then things are not good. So "mighty handy"? No, not really.
Anonymous
05/16/2014 12:53
Subject: need advise plz
Anonymous wrote:She may be upset that you left, but if you were a great employee, she may still give you a good reference. Did she say she would give you a bad reference?
Did you tell her the real reason why you were leaving and did you give her notice to find someone else? If you got in a fight with her, you are probably right
that she will not give you a good reference. But if you left professionally, she may be honest about your great service once she gets over losing you.
You haven't been around much, have you?
Anonymous
05/16/2014 12:43
Subject: need advise plz
She may be upset that you left, but if you were a great employee, she may still give you a good reference. Did she say she would give you a bad reference?
Did you tell her the real reason why you were leaving and did you give her notice to find someone else? If you got in a fight with her, you are probably right that she will not give you a good reference. But if you left professionally, she may be honest about your great service once she gets over losing you.
Did you tell her the real reason why you were leaving and did you give her notice to find someone else? If you got in a fight with her, you are probably right that she will not give you a good reference. But if you left professionally, she may be honest about your great service once she gets over losing you.
Anonymous
05/16/2014 11:20
Subject: need advise plz
Anonymous wrote:MB here. I don't think there is anything you could (or should) do to try to force a former employer to give a reference.
If I were interviewing you here is what would impress me:
- references from other people/families for whom you babysat or provided care during the past 6 years or before that
- any documentation you can provide where your former employer praised your performance
- a calm, concise explanation "My former employer was very angry when I gave notice so she refused to give me a reference. I hope that my six year tenure with the family speaks to their satisfaction level with my performance and reliability."
- for an answer as to why you left I would not get very specific about your former employer's emotional behavior. After six years you can very easily just say you were looking for a new environment, or younger kids, or whatever. If you want you could say that your employer had a tendency to lose her temper and be quite loud and you would prefer a calmer environment - or something like that. But take the high road and be professional and limited in what you say.
Any nanny that had a six year tenure with the prior family is going to impress me, so I think you can manage the reference issue.
Good luck.
What do you think the chances are that this bitch of a MB paid her on the books? Pay stubs to prove employment would be mighty handy, don't you think?
Anonymous
05/16/2014 09:36
Subject: need advise plz
MB here. I don't think there is anything you could (or should) do to try to force a former employer to give a reference.
If I were interviewing you here is what would impress me:
- references from other people/families for whom you babysat or provided care during the past 6 years or before that
- any documentation you can provide where your former employer praised your performance
- a calm, concise explanation "My former employer was very angry when I gave notice so she refused to give me a reference. I hope that my six year tenure with the family speaks to their satisfaction level with my performance and reliability."
- for an answer as to why you left I would not get very specific about your former employer's emotional behavior. After six years you can very easily just say you were looking for a new environment, or younger kids, or whatever. If you want you could say that your employer had a tendency to lose her temper and be quite loud and you would prefer a calmer environment - or something like that. But take the high road and be professional and limited in what you say.
Any nanny that had a six year tenure with the prior family is going to impress me, so I think you can manage the reference issue.
Good luck.
If I were interviewing you here is what would impress me:
- references from other people/families for whom you babysat or provided care during the past 6 years or before that
- any documentation you can provide where your former employer praised your performance
- a calm, concise explanation "My former employer was very angry when I gave notice so she refused to give me a reference. I hope that my six year tenure with the family speaks to their satisfaction level with my performance and reliability."
- for an answer as to why you left I would not get very specific about your former employer's emotional behavior. After six years you can very easily just say you were looking for a new environment, or younger kids, or whatever. If you want you could say that your employer had a tendency to lose her temper and be quite loud and you would prefer a calmer environment - or something like that. But take the high road and be professional and limited in what you say.
Any nanny that had a six year tenure with the prior family is going to impress me, so I think you can manage the reference issue.
Good luck.
Anonymous
05/16/2014 08:55
Subject: Re:need advise plz
That's illegal. You can sue her. Ask a lawyer at Legal Aid.
Stop giving terrible advice! One person can file a summons & complaint against any person or company for any reason, but there's absolutely NOTHING illegal about refusing to give someone a good reference letter. Any judge would throw the case out immediately upon receiving it.
+1. Filing a lawsuit is not a good idea. Did you have yearly evaluations, OP? If you did, bring them in lieu of a reference from this employer. Do you have other former employers you can ask?
It does seem odd that after six years of being a "super duper" employee, that she would have nothing good to say about you. That's sad.
Anonymous
05/15/2014 23:11
Subject: need advise plz
Anonymous wrote:That's illegal. You can sue her. Ask a lawyer at Legal Aid.
Stop giving terrible advice! One person can file a summons & complaint against any person or company for any reason, but there's absolutely NOTHING illegal about refusing to give someone a good reference letter. Any judge would throw the case out immediately upon receiving it.
Anonymous
05/15/2014 22:50
Subject: need advise plz
This is why the first year I ask for a written evaluation every 6mos and then on my year anniversary subsequent years. Helps show that I am/was a stellar nanny until MB gets a hair across her ass about something.
As far as this MB, get a friend to call as a potential employer and record the conversation. Then when she slanders you out of employment you may be able to sue.
As far as this MB, get a friend to call as a potential employer and record the conversation. Then when she slanders you out of employment you may be able to sue.
Anonymous
05/15/2014 21:42
Subject: need advise plz
Well the lesson here is: don't work for terrible people long enough to screw with your employment history. Sorry OP. I don't think there is much that you can do. If she is telling lies, that is illegal. If she simply refuses to be a reference, I'm not sure. I think she may have to verify your employment.
Anonymous
05/15/2014 21:07
Subject: need advise plz
Anonymous wrote:My previous employer wont give out good reference due to jealousy since I was a super duper employee, so she kind upset on why I left and the real reason I left is because she was so abusive in language and yelling at me all the time. So what should I do? I worked for her for 6 years. Thanks everyone my email is salumfatma@yahoo.com
That's really obnoxious of your former employer and I'm sorry OP but unless she is making up lies about you and you can prove it, then there isn't much you can do. Unlike what PP is suggesting you won't win a law suit against them just because she won't give you a reference. You can't force someone to say something nice about you, no matter how good of a nanny you may have been and suing a former employer isn't going to make you look more appealing to future employers.
Anonymous
05/15/2014 20:19
Subject: need advise plz
That's illegal. You can sue her. Ask a lawyer at Legal Aid.
Anonymous
05/15/2014 20:15
Subject: need advise plz
My previous employer wont give out good reference due to jealousy since I was a super duper employee, so she kind upset on why I left and the real reason I left is because she was so abusive in language and yelling at me all the time. So what should I do? I worked for her for 6 years. Thanks everyone my email is salumfatma@yahoo.com