Anonymous
04/24/2014 11:36
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Anonymous wrote:We have au pairs and I try really really hard not to leave a mess for her in the morning. But with two kids and busy full-time jobs (which is why we have childcare help!), it's just not possible, or at least not realistic, to leave a completely spotless house to turn over to our au pair every morning. Believe me, I'm not leaving any messes because I expect my au pair to clean them up, and I would most certainly maintain a spotless house if I could on my own, but I can't. I let my au pair know that - if I leave dishes in the sink, she can just leave them and I'll get to them when I can. If I leave laundry in the dryer, it's because I've forgotten about it, not because I expect her to fold it.
Is it possible that for some of the MBs, they're doing their best and they just don't have time to leave everything in perfect order for you every single morning? If you think that might be the case, then just leave it.
Although I will say that to some degree, it might be worth building up the goodwill. I'm much much more willing to be flexible with my current au pair, who goes above and beyond routinely (and by flexible, I mean, extra days off, extra bonuses, cooking her dinner every night, doing her dishes if she happens not to have time, etc.) than I was with my second au pair who would literally do nothing unless I specifically asked her to. She would leave a knife in the sink all day if I left it there and do her day's dishes all around it rather than just putting it in the dishwasher when she was cleaning anyway.
Anyway, things to think about. Though obviously if someone is every single day leaving you all their dinner dishes to clean up and that wasn't in your job description, that's not falling under the situations I've described above.
There is a difference. You work. This mom doesn't work and orattles around the house all day. Why a SAHM needs childcare help in the afternoon after having no kids in the morning is ridiculous.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 10:56
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
We have au pairs and I try really really hard not to leave a mess for her in the morning. But with two kids and busy full-time jobs (which is why we have childcare help!), it's just not possible, or at least not realistic, to leave a completely spotless house to turn over to our au pair every morning. Believe me, I'm not leaving any messes because I expect my au pair to clean them up, and I would most certainly maintain a spotless house if I could on my own, but I can't. I let my au pair know that - if I leave dishes in the sink, she can just leave them and I'll get to them when I can. If I leave laundry in the dryer, it's because I've forgotten about it, not because I expect her to fold it.
Is it possible that for some of the MBs, they're doing their best and they just don't have time to leave everything in perfect order for you every single morning? If you think that might be the case, then just leave it.
Although I will say that to some degree, it might be worth building up the goodwill. I'm much much more willing to be flexible with my current au pair, who goes above and beyond routinely (and by flexible, I mean, extra days off, extra bonuses, cooking her dinner every night, doing her dishes if she happens not to have time, etc.) than I was with my second au pair who would literally do nothing unless I specifically asked her to. She would leave a knife in the sink all day if I left it there and do her day's dishes all around it rather than just putting it in the dishwasher when she was cleaning anyway.
Anyway, things to think about. Though obviously if someone is every single day leaving you all their dinner dishes to clean up and that wasn't in your job description, that's not falling under the situations I've described above.
Is it possible that for some of the MBs, they're doing their best and they just don't have time to leave everything in perfect order for you every single morning? If you think that might be the case, then just leave it.
Although I will say that to some degree, it might be worth building up the goodwill. I'm much much more willing to be flexible with my current au pair, who goes above and beyond routinely (and by flexible, I mean, extra days off, extra bonuses, cooking her dinner every night, doing her dishes if she happens not to have time, etc.) than I was with my second au pair who would literally do nothing unless I specifically asked her to. She would leave a knife in the sink all day if I left it there and do her day's dishes all around it rather than just putting it in the dishwasher when she was cleaning anyway.
Anyway, things to think about. Though obviously if someone is every single day leaving you all their dinner dishes to clean up and that wasn't in your job description, that's not falling under the situations I've described above.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 10:49
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Anonymous wrote:MB has gotten into a habit of leaving all of her dishes from her breakfast and lunch out on the counter for me to clean up when I arrive in the afternoon. This is now happening almost daily. I do dishes for my charges when they eat something in my care or if I cook for them, I will clean up after myself. Not sure where this MB thought it was okay to leave food stuck on plates just laying out on the counter for me to wash when I arrive 6 hours after her breakfast. I got there yesterday and the entire island was covered in dishes with hardened food on them. It took me over an hour to wash everything. Is this normal behavior?? Or do I have the right to be mad about this? I do want to add MB is a stay at home, all kids are in elementary and middle school so its just her home during the day. I come after school to evenings to watch them. I've watched her sit down and eat her food and then leave the dish on the table where she ate at and walk out of the room for me to pick up and clean. This is driving me crazy.
Has she said she wants you to do this? Have you discussed this with her? You assumed she wanted you to do this and now that you started, she is probably assuming it is ok for her to do it and you will clean it up. This is a classic example of how job creep happens.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 10:46
Subject: Re:MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Anonymous wrote:Were household chores like this - unrelated to childcare - part of your initial agreement? If so, I'm afraid you are stuck - your MB is a bit of a pig but if you agreed to household chores you have to do them. If not, simply do not do the dishes.
I made it clear in my initial interview that I will do anything and everything that has to do with my charge but not general "light" housekeeping. It bugs me when my MB/DB leave every dirty bottle and dish the baby uses when I'm not there for me the next day but it was what I agreed to. At least they wash the baby's bottles and dished on weekends!
I hate when my bosses do that too. I wash them because its my job, but Jesus freaking Christ! You can't wash a freaking bottle?? You'd rather leave it to stink until the next day? Or worse, until Monday? The diaper rash on Mondays let me know they also don't do much diaper changing when I'm not there.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 10:20
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
If she never asked you to do them in the first place why are you doing them? If it's not part of your job just leave them there.
One day a few weeks ago I asked DH to run the dishwasher before he came to bed. He forgot and it was totally full in the morning so I had to run it before I left for work. There were a few dishes I had to leave in the sink for which I apologized to the nanny. She did end up emptying the dishwasher for me while I was at work (which I had not asked her to do) and put the dirty dishes back in it but I made sure the sink and the dishwasher was empty the entire rest of the week to be clear that I didn't expect her to do it even though she did that one day.
In your case, just stop doing it if it's not your job.
One day a few weeks ago I asked DH to run the dishwasher before he came to bed. He forgot and it was totally full in the morning so I had to run it before I left for work. There were a few dishes I had to leave in the sink for which I apologized to the nanny. She did end up emptying the dishwasher for me while I was at work (which I had not asked her to do) and put the dirty dishes back in it but I made sure the sink and the dishwasher was empty the entire rest of the week to be clear that I didn't expect her to do it even though she did that one day.
In your case, just stop doing it if it's not your job.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 09:56
Subject: Re:MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
MB here--I am a slob and often have dishes that I need to get to, but just because they are there doesn't mean I expect our nanny to do them. Are you just assuming that you need to do them? If she didn't ask you to, then I agree with the PPs; just move them aside and leave them.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:31
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
When I show up to work at 7 every morning I find last nights dinner and all the plates on the kitchen table just left out. All of the pots and pans still on the stove. Children's clothes strung all over the house. Everyday I clean for 2 hrs while the little ones eat and play by themselves.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:26
Subject: Re:MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Stop washing them. She'll get the hint.
+1.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:24
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
*Probably* sorry for that typo!
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:24
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Stop washing them. She'll get the hint.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:23
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Op here, lol at the $25 an hour poster. I would gladly wash every dish in the house for $25 an hour 
to answer above poster, I did agree that I would come Fridays during the school day to vacuum and do light laundry. So I'm confused as to why this particular MB thinks it's okay to leave her dishes out for me daily to wash when I get there. But i do agree that i am porbably stuck doing them. As everytime she leaves them, i wash them. Its probably a habit for her now. She is an absolute slob though. it helps to vent sometimes
to answer above poster, I did agree that I would come Fridays during the school day to vacuum and do light laundry. So I'm confused as to why this particular MB thinks it's okay to leave her dishes out for me daily to wash when I get there. But i do agree that i am porbably stuck doing them. As everytime she leaves them, i wash them. Its probably a habit for her now. She is an absolute slob though. it helps to vent sometimes
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:15
Subject: Re:MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
Were household chores like this - unrelated to childcare - part of your initial agreement? If so, I'm afraid you are stuck - your MB is a bit of a pig but if you agreed to household chores you have to do them. If not, simply do not do the dishes.
I made it clear in my initial interview that I will do anything and everything that has to do with my charge but not general "light" housekeeping. It bugs me when my MB/DB leave every dirty bottle and dish the baby uses when I'm not there for me the next day but it was what I agreed to. At least they wash the baby's bottles and dished on weekends!
I made it clear in my initial interview that I will do anything and everything that has to do with my charge but not general "light" housekeeping. It bugs me when my MB/DB leave every dirty bottle and dish the baby uses when I'm not there for me the next day but it was what I agreed to. At least they wash the baby's bottles and dished on weekends!
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:11
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
I hope she's paying you at least 25/hr.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:09
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
What a first class slob she is.
Anonymous
04/24/2014 08:05
Subject: MB leaving dishes for me when I get there
MB has gotten into a habit of leaving all of her dishes from her breakfast and lunch out on the counter for me to clean up when I arrive in the afternoon. This is now happening almost daily. I do dishes for my charges when they eat something in my care or if I cook for them, I will clean up after myself. Not sure where this MB thought it was okay to leave food stuck on plates just laying out on the counter for me to wash when I arrive 6 hours after her breakfast. I got there yesterday and the entire island was covered in dishes with hardened food on them. It took me over an hour to wash everything. Is this normal behavior?? Or do I have the right to be mad about this? I do want to add MB is a stay at home, all kids are in elementary and middle school so its just her home during the day. I come after school to evenings to watch them. I've watched her sit down and eat her food and then leave the dish on the table where she ate at and walk out of the room for me to pick up and clean. This is driving me crazy.