Im a MB and I think the OP's point is pretty valid. The only thing I'd quibble with is "cheap." Market rate is market rate and there's nothing cheap about it. There's a market rate for an experienced, highly educated nanny. There's a market rate for a less experienced, not formally educated nanny.

There's nothing wrong in compromising on formal education and experience if you want to pay below average rates. And, conversely, there's nothing wrong with a highly educated and experienced nanny holding out for above average rates. "Cheap" implies inferior, and I don't think either one of these choices is inferior if it's a good match.

OP is not an MB, people. She is a regular nanny troll here. Stop feeding her.

20:01

I am a nanny and I've had jobs where I was out of their price-range and it did put a strain on things. With your job, they included a four year's worth of raises and bonuses in their offer, so it sounds like you were within their price range, just slightly out of reach for a starting offer.

I am not talking about a nanny who asks for $20 and family was thinking $18. That is a difference that can be negotiated. But if the nanny asks for a price that you initially balk at, then you should not bend over backwards to redo your budget so that you can afford her (because she won't live up to your expectations if you are constantly thinking that she better be worth giving up XYZ) and if she accepts and offer substantially below what she was initially asking for, then she will feel that she has given too much up. Much better to find someone in the same ballpark.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But one should never haggle or negotiate when hiring a nanny. Ever.

Are you crazy? I suppose we should just pay a nanny whatever she asks for. $100,000/year? No problem! Twice what I make at my own job? Heck yes! Give me a break

Actually, that's great advice. A nanny is asking for what she thinks she's worth . If she comes down in rate for you, it starts the relationship off with her feelig like you owe her or that she could have done better. You want to hire someone who is happy with what you can afford to pay. If the nanny is asking for something that is unreasonable for you, don't pay it, but also don't hire her. Find someone who is looking for a rate close to what you are offering.

this is horrible advice, and I'm a nanny! Yes, when I go into an interview I say what I'm worth. If the family offers something much lower than I'm comfortable with, we part ways. If the compromise is something I am comfortable with and they seem like they are a good fit for me, I'll compromise. I am not out to steal your money, I am out to make a decent living but finding a good family is just as important as my salary. I went down for a family that seemed like a good fit for me and 4 years (and 4 raises plus bonuses) later I am still with them. If a family asks me to compromise I do not assume they are haggling because they are cheap, I assume they are trying to find the best nanny for the price range they can best afford. I'm not a robber.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: But one should never haggle or negotiate when hiring a nanny. Ever.

Are you crazy? I suppose we should just pay a nanny whatever she asks for. $100,000/year? No problem! Twice what I make at my own job? Heck yes! Give me a break

Actually, that's great advice. A nanny is asking for what she thinks she's worth . If she comes down in rate for you, it starts the relationship off with her feelig like you owe her or that she could have done better. You want to hire someone who is happy with what you can afford to pay. If the nanny is asking for something that is unreasonable for you, don't pay it, but also don't hire her. Find someone who is looking for a rate close to what you are offering.

Anonymous wrote: But one should never haggle or negotiate when hiring a nanny. Ever.

Are you crazy? I suppose we should just pay a nanny whatever she asks for. $100,000/year? No problem! Twice what I make at my own job? Heck yes! Give me a break

Anonymous wrote:How horrible for you, and mostly your children that "cheap" is a factor in hiring a nanny?

Saving money is great when making a purchase such as a car or appliance.
But one should never haggle or negotiate when hiring a nanny. Ever. I mean, this is someone who will be in your home, caring for your most prized possession, your baby/child. How can you even consider cutting a deal w/her?

That just boggles the mind.

You can afford what you can afford. Calm down, SugarPlum. it's just a word.

OP never said she was looking for a cheap nanny, so lay off. I think she makes a good point that many parents would do well to remember. A lot of parents try to get all 3. They want lots of experience, responsible and reliable, and below market rates. You can't have it all, and you need to decide what is important.

How horrible for you, and mostly your children that "cheap" is a factor in hiring a nanny?

Saving money is great when making a purchase such as a car or appliance.
But one should never haggle or negotiate when hiring a nanny. Ever. I mean, this is someone who will be in your home, caring for your most prized possession, your baby/child. How can you even consider cutting a deal w/her?

That just boggles the mind.

Anonymous wrote:Bully for you.

I know how to hire a great nanny - thanks all the same. And I believe in paying appropriately for the excellent care she provides. Cheap is not in my top three list of requirements. Affordable comes somewhere in the top 5-10, but that's pretty different than cheap.

And just for the record - your little list is nowhere near complete in my book - where is honesty, safety, loving, etc...

How do you know a nanny is honest, loving or "safety" (do you mean safety conscious?) before you hire her/him?

Interesting - simple and clear! I'll definitely keep think about my two "wants"...

Thanks.

Bully for you.

I know how to hire a great nanny - thanks all the same. And I believe in paying appropriately for the excellent care she provides. Cheap is not in my top three list of requirements. Affordable comes somewhere in the top 5-10, but that's pretty different than cheap.

And just for the record - your little list is nowhere near complete in my book - where is honesty, safety, loving, etc...

Keeping the following in mind when I look for a nanny has helped me.

The three things we want in a nanny:

1) Educated and/or experienced

2) Responsible and reliable

3) Cheap - market rate or below.

Now, pick TWO of those three wants because you cannot have all three.

For example, you can have 1 and 3 - an educated and experienced nanny who is cheap but she will either leave at the first chance she gets for a better job or is a trust-fund baby who won't show up one day when she decides to go to Cabo with her friends. 2 and 3 - if money is an issue, you can get a reliable and responsible nanny for market rate or below but she will not have the education or experience.

All this is general, of course - I'm sure there are exceptions - but using this simple formula has clarified what I can get in a nanny.