Anonymous wrote:OP, this reminds me of the movie, "The Help" where the hired help is not to touch certain things in the home. Is that how you see this Nanny as...Just the "hired help?" If so, how sad.

Anyway, I nanny for a 1 1/2 yr old little boy and he sometimes wanders into his parent's bedroom and we lie on the bed and read stories, play toys, etc. His parents are okay with it and they know we go in there. I would be so offended and appalled if they asked me not to touch the comforter. That would be a deal~breaker in my book.

The only issue I would have if I were in your shoes is I wouldn't like my nanny sleeping in my bed with my child. I wouldn't want my child getting into the habit of sleeping in my bed instead of his own. I would prefer he nap in his crib or bed and she can either nap in mine or the sofa.

Other than that, you are overreacting.

Hey some info you might not have known.
Do you frequent hotels when you travel?

If so, guess what?
Hotels DO NOT, I repeat...DO NOT wash their comforters/bedspreads after each guest. They wash the linens underneath them, the sheets/pillowcases, but not the top comforters. It would be too much work.

And imagine what goes in on top of those things in hotels.

Yes, even the high~end hotels like the Hilton.

Just sayin'.......................

I would never say to my nanny "Please don't touch my comforter." What I have said is, "When Larla wanders into my room please draw her out, as we don't want her playing in there. She can play outside, in the playroom, in her bedroom, or in the living room." But I also keep my bedroom door closed when DH and I are leaving the house.

^ exactly right.

OP, this reminds me of the movie, "The Help" where the hired help is not to touch certain things in the home. Is that how you see this Nanny as...Just the "hired help?" If so, how sad.

Anyway, I nanny for a 1 1/2 yr old little boy and he sometimes wanders into his parent's bedroom and we lie on the bed and read stories, play toys, etc. His parents are okay with it and they know we go in there. I would be so offended and appalled if they asked me not to touch the comforter. That would be a deal~breaker in my book.

The only issue I would have if I were in your shoes is I wouldn't like my nanny sleeping in my bed with my child. I wouldn't want my child getting into the habit of sleeping in my bed instead of his own. I would prefer he nap in his crib or bed and she can either nap in mine or the sofa.

Other than that, you are overreacting.

Hey some info you might not have known.
Do you frequent hotels when you travel?

If so, guess what?
Hotels DO NOT, I repeat...DO NOT wash their comforters/bedspreads after each guest. They wash the linens underneath them, the sheets/pillowcases, but not the top comforters. It would be too much work.

And imagine what goes in on top of those things in hotels.

Yes, even the high~end hotels like the Hilton.

Just sayin'.......................

Anonymous wrote:"Larla, I really prefer that Aiden not cosleep with you and that you both not spend time in DH's and my bedroom. We feel like that's kind of our special sanctuary of sorts, so going forward, if you are so tired during Aiden's nap and want to lay down, please help yourself to the couch in the playroom."

This.

I understand not being comfortable with a third person sleeping on your bed. It's totally ok to address it with your nanny. However, no need for the "gross" and "she doesn't even wash the comfortable."

That makes me think you are a troll. I assure you one person sleeping on top of your bed is the least "gross" thing you'll encounter on a daily basis. Do you touch money? Doorknobs?

I would tell her that you don't co-sleep and do not want your child in your bed as it starts a bad habit. You prefer he nap in his bed and she rest of the couch.

I had them keep their bedroom door locked so the kid had no option of going in there.

love it PP! great way to put it

"Larla, I really prefer that Aiden not cosleep with you and that you both not spend time in DH's and my bedroom. We feel like that's kind of our special sanctuary of sorts, so going forward, if you are so tired during Aiden's nap and want to lay down, please help yourself to the couch in the playroom."

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where did you ask her to rest?????

Do not expect OP to reply....

Why does she need to sleep at work? My boss does not provide me a bed in the office.

Anonymous wrote:Where did you ask her to rest?????

Do not expect OP to reply....

Anonymous wrote:Ok PP that's out of line. I'm a nanny and would never sleep in my MB's bed. I have a great relationship with my MB but I've never even been in her room -- there's no reason for me to be in there, esp in her personal space. OP isn't being unreasonable at all.

OP, I completely agree with you. There's no reason for her to be sleeping in your bed. Sorry you're in this awkward spot. Maybe keep your bedroom door closed and just tell her you prefer nobody goes in your room during the day?

I understand not wanting her in her bed, but I think the "gross" was over the top and offensive. OP doesn't say how old her child is. Maybe he asked to nap in OPs bed. Especially if OP cosleeps, I can see why her nanny might have thought this was okay.

Where did you ask her to rest?????

Ok PP that's out of line. I'm a nanny and would never sleep in my MB's bed. I have a great relationship with my MB but I've never even been in her room -- there's no reason for me to be in there, esp in her personal space. OP isn't being unreasonable at all.

OP, I completely agree with you. There's no reason for her to be sleeping in your bed. Sorry you're in this awkward spot. Maybe keep your bedroom door closed and just tell her you prefer nobody goes in your room during the day?

Oh no! So gross! The help should never touch your things. She has her own dish, cup, and silverware too, right? And you certainly don't let her sit on the couch that you sit on, or heaven forbid, use the same bathroom?? She ought to now her place, OP.

I just found out that my nanny takes naps with my LO on my bed.

I have no problem with the naps, not even that she sleeps with LO... But on my bed?! Where I sleep?! She doesn't even wash the comforter she sleeps on top of afterwards.

Just gross. I'm thinking about letting her know I'm very unhappy with this kind of behavior but I don't know how to say it politely..