Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't think you're crazy at all to not be able to hold the spot open. One question I have though is given the significant raise they agreed to, would it be more profitable for you in the long run to try to find a way to make it work for the 3 months?

I can totally understand why you might not be able to get by on the reduction, but if you have to let them go and find another family are you likely to make enough to make it worthwhile in the long run? ($5 more an hour is a pretty major raise!)

The raise is typical increase in my area and the rate most families would expect to pay for an additional child. They will be reducing my hours to accommodate my raise which is fine since I'm in school full time. However, I can make the same I am now consistently with a new family without the added stress of a newborn. The significant raise was more to motivate me to stay with the added work of a third child. Besides, this family will be moving to the suburbs next year so this wouldn't be a long term raise.

OP, I don't think you're crazy at all to not be able to hold the spot open. One question I have though is given the significant raise they agreed to, would it be more profitable for you in the long run to try to find a way to make it work for the 3 months?

I can totally understand why you might not be able to get by on the reduction, but if you have to let them go and find another family are you likely to make enough to make it worthwhile in the long run? ($5 more an hour is a pretty major raise!)

* confident

Thanks everyone, I'm glad I'm not going crazy in thinking that paying for maternity leave is reasonable. The other family and I agreed to find a replacement if our current share partners refuse to pay. In my area shares are extremely easy to find for two children and my rate for all my education and experience ends up being a deal. I'm also confined I can find a whole position if a share doesn't work. But ideally I wanted to stay with my current families for another year.

I believe the issue is I met this family while mb was pregnant with #1 and was hired on the spot. They never researched daycares or interviewed other nannies so they don't know how good they have it. My other share family did research and are Petrified to lose me, they are basically willing to do whatever is necessary to keep me as long they can afford too.

The $5/hr increase for additional newborn care is appropriate, so congratulations on that.

If the parents are fairly intellegent business people, I can't imagine that they would really expect you to hold their spot without paying for it somehow. Maybe it was one of those "it can't hurt to ask" senerios.

If they only had a clue how hurtful that is to the overall relationship, they would avoid doing that. It's just not worth it in the long run. But if they're seriously going under financially, maybe they feel there's nothing to loose.

The conversation doesn't have to be about finances. It is generally selfish that they would expect a spot that they aren't paying for to simply be there for them at their convenience. I would make clear to your other family, and tell pregnant family flat out that you agree to hold the spot if and only if a temporary replacement family is found. If a temp family is not found, and they refuse to pay the usual rate to maintain their spot in the share, you will be forced to replace them. Of course this affects your finances, but you aren't being crazy here. These are normal business practices. You pay to hold your spot or you lose it.

PP's response is reasonble. In this situation I don't think it is bad to be pointing out that you still have rent to pay and you are holding her share spot for 3 months so can't really make up the gap.

Of course the $5 increase should not kick in until post maternity leave unless MB intends you to take care of both kids during leave regularly.

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you can be flexible with the temporary finances if she can find a suitable (to you and your other family) substitute family.

... otherwise you're unable to accept a salary decrease, as much as you'd love to help out.

Tell her you can be flexible with the temporary finances if she can find a suitable (to you and your other family) substitute family.

So I posted awhile ago about asking for a $5 raise for family 1's newborn being added to our existing share. Well we had the meeting and they agreed to the raise and worked out all the other issues. The only thing we did not agree on is maternity leave. They want to only pay half of what they normally pay and only use me pt. The problem is we can't find another family to fill in the other hours for such a limited time frame. At this point I'm really upset that they even think paying half is acceptable. I have spoken to family 2 and they have agreed to replacing family 1 if necessary. I was hoping you guys can help word the email explaining how a 33% pay decrease for three months is not financially possible for me. I don't know how to word it without making my financial situation the main reason.