Another nanny here saying go with your gut. When I am excited about a new position I'll be responding within hours (at the very least within 24 hours if I'm out of town or out of service) to formalize arrangements. Her lack of communication with you is a huge red flag and I agree with the PP that it's fortunate to find this out before she's living in your home. Definitely keep looking.

Try picking up the phone and calling her. It could be her preferred method of communication.

Anonymous wrote:OP, trust your gut. Without question trust your gut.

This kind of consistently slow response would concern me greatly and having a live-in situation is infinitely harder to correct after they've started than it is beforehand.

At minimum I would have a very direct conversation with her where you express your serious concerns.

But I'd likely take this as a gift that you're seeing this now when you have time to make a change. Don't go into something that's already giving you concern.

+1. Why is she coming to live in? Is it possible she thinks of this more as a living situation with a little babysitting as opposed to a real nanny position? She's acting more like a tenant who signed a lease than an employee ...

OP, trust your gut. Without question trust your gut.

This kind of consistently slow response would concern me greatly and having a live-in situation is infinitely harder to correct after they've started than it is beforehand.

At minimum I would have a very direct conversation with her where you express your serious concerns.

But I'd likely take this as a gift that you're seeing this now when you have time to make a change. Don't go into something that's already giving you concern.

I'd bring it up with her if you really like her otherwise.

Ultimately I'd go with your gut though.

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and never respond to emails, texts, or calls from my employers on evenings or weekends unless it is urgent -- I work 55 hours a week and there should be no reason for them to contact me with small details that can wait until Monday or the next morning. They don't own me

I would respond. I find that rude and I'm a nanny myself. Responding doesn't take effort.

Btw, like pps said, completely different situation as well.

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and never respond to emails, texts, or calls from my employers on evenings or weekends unless it is urgent -- I work 55 hours a week and there should be no reason for them to contact me with small details that can wait until Monday or the next morning. They don't own me

This is COMPLETELY different.

Eh nanny here and I'd be concerned. When I am interested in a nanny position I am super quick to respond to any correspondence from the potential employer.

Anonymous wrote:I am a nanny and never respond to emails, texts, or calls from my employers on evenings or weekends unless it is urgent -- I work 55 hours a week and there should be no reason for them to contact me with small details that can wait until Monday or the next morning. They don't own me

That's a bit harsh on the OP, she is trying to make arrangement for this person to become her employee, not asking someone already in her employ to communicate with her outside regular work hours. Is she just meant to respond to the emails on her first day of work in six weeks' time? It could be important stuff like setting up payroll.

I am a nanny and never respond to emails, texts, or calls from my employers on evenings or weekends unless it is urgent -- I work 55 hours a week and there should be no reason for them to contact me with small details that can wait until Monday or the next morning. They don't own me

I would raise the issue with her before looking for somebody else. We tend to think that our emails should be responded to ASAP but that's not always fair. Perhaps she was researching the logistics you say you are giving her. Perhaps she is enjoying the last 6 weeks of her life before becoming a live in nanny. She is not beholden to you yet, so I wouldn't automatically assume she is flakey.

Red flag keep looking. I would explain this issue to her first if you can get ahold of her and see if she can change her ways in the next week or so. Send a quick email or text or phone call saying your response time is starting to worry me. I need responses within x amount of time. If this doesn't change I'm going to look for someone else.

I have had exactly this red flag in the past and sure enough she was the worst nanny ever, I ended up having to give her a warning after one week and then firing her on the spot after a month for endangering my child and *constant* cell phone use (ironic as in the lead-up to joining us she was so slow to return texts and emails!).

Have you checked her references very carefully?

Go with your gut. You can even say "I sense that perhaps you are not as keen on this position as I would hope. Maybe we should both take a step back and think about this some more. I had some other candidates who were interested and although you seem like a good match for us I think it would be best if I continue to interview. Maybe we can touch base again in a couple of weeks?"

I would see it as a red flag. Of course when she is living with you she will be there in person for you to communicate with but I have had similar situations where minor frustrations become major as time goes on.

We have hired (although not signed a contract yet) a new nanny to begin this summer. She was originally supposed to interview on a day when my entire family came down with norovirus, and I tried to contact her to cancel multiple times (phone, email, etc) over the course of a 24 hour period before I got a response. This was a major red flag to me but she was excellent otherwise so I overlooked it - it was a weekend and I figured she was just busy. Ever since, though, I have noticed that her response times are quite slow - like multiple days, once I think it was closer to 5 or 6 days. There are some logistics to discuss, because she will be a live-in, and it is frustrating to have to wait so long for her to reply. Keep in mind that I am not barraging her with emails or anything like that - I have emailed her just 3-5 times, ever, when I had a legitimate question.

She is not our first live in nanny, and EVERY SINGLE TIME something minor has frustrated me like this before they began, it ends up being a much bigger issue or a sign of greater problems. Literally, every single time, and I have a bad feeling now. My gut is telling me that we are going to have communication issues and/or that she has judgment issues and/or is not reliable. Am I overreacting here based on past experiences or would this alarm anyone else? If it would alarm you, would you just break ties? She is supposed to move in in 6 weeks, if it matters.