Sounds like a tough situation.

I'm a nanny and am same way, but when MB is home. No matter how hard I've worked, I feel so judged if I just sit down for a break while the kids are napping. I would just tell her you know this is difficult, and that you all know how hard she works and that she needs breaks. If you can manage to let her leave early some days, with the same pay of course, that would be a nice way to compensate for the aggravation she's going through.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't get the feeling from the OP that her nanny was a live in. I assumed that she was a live out and she has downtime when the kids are napping. So instead of maybe taking a short break, the nanny probably feels like she has to be doing something every second of the work day since she is now not alone in the house with just the kids.

I'm not sure I have any advice other than telling the nanny to do what she usually does and not worry about people watching her.

OP here - this poster is correct. Nanny is a live-out, but has downtime when kids are napping. I think part of the issue is that the nanny is very active with the kids so she really takes advantage of downtime (I often work from home on Mondays and notice she will take a quick nap while the kids nap). She is fine taking hte downtime with me, but i think she feels judged with other folks in the house.

Is she being judged or made to feel like that? If she just thinks she is I would reiterate that everyone knows how busy/active she is with the kids and that she needs some downtime when they are sleeping so she should feel free to take it. If she doesn't then that is on her. If she is being made to feel uncomfortable then you (or DH since it's his parents) need to talk to the other family members so they stop making her feel that way. I realize that is hard because you are staying in THEIR house but if they are doing something specific to make the nanny uncomfortable she may not want to stick it out for the next several months.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't get the feeling from the OP that her nanny was a live in. I assumed that she was a live out and she has downtime when the kids are napping. So instead of maybe taking a short break, the nanny probably feels like she has to be doing something every second of the work day since she is now not alone in the house with just the kids.

I'm not sure I have any advice other than telling the nanny to do what she usually does and not worry about people watching her.

OP here - this poster is correct. Nanny is a live-out, but has downtime when kids are napping. I think part of the issue is that the nanny is very active with the kids so she really takes advantage of downtime (I often work from home on Mondays and notice she will take a quick nap while the kids nap). She is fine taking hte downtime with me, but i think she feels judged with other folks in the house.

I didn't get the feeling from the OP that her nanny was a live in. I assumed that she was a live out and she has downtime when the kids are napping. So instead of maybe taking a short break, the nanny probably feels like she has to be doing something every second of the work day since she is now not alone in the house with just the kids.

I'm not sure I have any advice other than telling the nanny to do what she usually does and not worry about people watching her.

Does she have her own room? Is it just that your parents are in the common areas?

Since you've got a lot of adults haring space, maybe a "house meeting" is in order where everyone gets to know each other, talks about use of the common spaces, preferred routines (for example, it is hard for me when people visit, because I need an hour or so in the AM before I can be pleasant), any expectations, etc..

This would be the time to treat her like an equal adult/family member vs. employee to make sure everyone can live together comfortably.

How about rent her a room somewhere else?? I'd be uncomfortable at someone else's house.

We are two months into a 7 month renovation - we are told we will be back in our townhouse in mid-august. We have moved in to my husband's mom's house because on top of the renovation costs we weren't inclined to spend another $30K renting a house and she has the space. We are mostly doing ok, but I'm worried about my nanny. She is used to having her own space in our house and downtime, which she usually uses to clean or cook, but i know she sometimes likes to rest or read and I'm totally ok with that. The problem is that I don't think she feels like she can do that with others around. I've told her not to worry, but I think it just makes her feel uncomfortable. I love our nanny and our kids love our nanny so I'm looking for advice to help us get through the next 5 months. TIA.