Well 1. I think cool-down time is great and it is pretty effective. Letting a kid go "cool down" in a quiet and safe place when they are having a meltdown is totally the right way to handle it.

2. I think it can be very difficult to be a nanny in a situation where your discipline styles don't match up. But, I would never start a discipline technique without discussing it with the parents first.

Yes there is a difference between cool downs and time outs. Cool downs are used when there is an emotional melt down as a way to calm down, time outs are used as punishment for poor behavior. If OP didn't get the parents to approve these time outs she's really acting inappropriately.

As a parent, I feel strongly that rules should be consistent across the board between a nanny and the parents. It's less confusing and more effective that way. But agree with PP - how is "cool down" time not a time out? Does it matter what you call it?

How is "cool down time" different from time-out?

I just started working for a family that doesn't use time-outs, or hardly any discipline at all. They told me they let the child go to room for cool-down time if it's a huge tantrum (5yo). I never had this stuation before, am a firm believer in time-outs and it always worked for me.

If you have a discipline style that is different from your boss' but not harmful (like corporal), do you think it's your choice? I'm 50/50. In school kids follow teacher's rules, in childcare they should follow my rules? Or do I just try to act like the parents? Because the kid runs wild and doesn't respect me this way. I started using time-outs this week and so far, much better behavior.