Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs initial post said nothing about special needs. She said she was looking for a sitter for two teens. People reacted the way you'd expect. When will you all learn that this is a discussion forum? People will disagree with you. That doesn't make them a bad person. No response here was really that bad, OP and yourself just didnt like them. Its the truth. No decent nanny wants to work part time, drive around two teenagers, and do their chores. Even with mild special needs (memory issues?) her daughter should have some basic life skills at 17, including including grocery shopping, household chores, preparing a meal for herself, and if she will never drive she will need to learn to navigate public transportation.

Yes, OP asked a simple question about rates. She didn't specify special needs. When the first poster questioned her parenting approach in needing care she explained. When a later poster spoke in a critical tone about what OP's children "should be able" to do, repeatedly, I think that crossed the line.

The level of need of OPs family is not our business. Her choices in parenting are not our business. Answering her question is appropriate, criticizing her is not.

Yes, this is what DCUM is notorious for in tone and attitude, but that doesn't mean it has to be accepted. I feel for OP and her family and I don't need to know the specifics to be empathetic. I also don't assume that she is failing to prepare her children for life if she is seeking a caregiver. I take issue with the judgmental assumptions being made by a couple of the posters and I don't expect that all people will react that way. Quite the opposite, I presume most people are compassionate and a few nasty souls with time on their hands routinely poison these threads.

Okay, whatever. The answer to OPs question is that she will be advertising an unattractive job, for the reasons already listed, and apparently that is offensive. Because the job is unattractive, OP should be prepared to pay a higher rate than usual in order to attract qualified candidates. In my opinion, she's looking at $18-$20/hour depending on the severity of the needs, and the demands of her family. It would be cheaper, and likely better for her kids in the long run if she were to actually prepare them for life.

You are obnoxious. Do you know anything about TBIs? Depending on the severity, her 17 year old may NEVER be able to live alone because she's unable to perform daily tasks safely. Sure, she may be able to cook, but can she do it safely? No one is saying the fact that she's advertising a difficult job is offensive. What is offensive is the implication that she's doing nothing to help them prepare for life.

No I don't. That's the point. Most people will have a wtf reaction to OP's job, unless she makes clear that her daughter has special needs, which she didn't initially. And then, anyone still interested and qualified is going to be more expensive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs initial post said nothing about special needs. She said she was looking for a sitter for two teens. People reacted the way you'd expect. When will you all learn that this is a discussion forum? People will disagree with you. That doesn't make them a bad person. No response here was really that bad, OP and yourself just didnt like them. Its the truth. No decent nanny wants to work part time, drive around two teenagers, and do their chores. Even with mild special needs (memory issues?) her daughter should have some basic life skills at 17, including including grocery shopping, household chores, preparing a meal for herself, and if she will never drive she will need to learn to navigate public transportation.

Yes, OP asked a simple question about rates. She didn't specify special needs. When the first poster questioned her parenting approach in needing care she explained. When a later poster spoke in a critical tone about what OP's children "should be able" to do, repeatedly, I think that crossed the line.

The level of need of OPs family is not our business. Her choices in parenting are not our business. Answering her question is appropriate, criticizing her is not.

Yes, this is what DCUM is notorious for in tone and attitude, but that doesn't mean it has to be accepted. I feel for OP and her family and I don't need to know the specifics to be empathetic. I also don't assume that she is failing to prepare her children for life if she is seeking a caregiver. I take issue with the judgmental assumptions being made by a couple of the posters and I don't expect that all people will react that way. Quite the opposite, I presume most people are compassionate and a few nasty souls with time on their hands routinely poison these threads.

Okay, whatever. The answer to OPs question is that she will be advertising an unattractive job, for the reasons already listed, and apparently that is offensive. Because the job is unattractive, OP should be prepared to pay a higher rate than usual in order to attract qualified candidates. In my opinion, she's looking at $18-$20/hour depending on the severity of the needs, and the demands of her family. It would be cheaper, and likely better for her kids in the long run if she were to actually prepare them for life.

You are obnoxious. Do you know anything about TBIs? Depending on the severity, her 17 year old may NEVER be able to live alone because she's unable to perform daily tasks safely. Sure, she may be able to cook, but can she do it safely? No one is saying the fact that she's advertising a difficult job is offensive. What is offensive is the implication that she's doing nothing to help them prepare for life.

Hi Op, a lot depends on the level of your daughter's TBI.

My sister lives in Alexandria and has a 15 year old son with a TBI. He is able to do things for himself, but he can't be left alone. He's able to prepare himself a grilled cheese, but he might forget to turn the burners off. Or he might forget to turn the oven off. Or he might simply forget he was cooking the sandwich. He can't do laundry unsupervises as he'll forget to put in detergent, run it on the wrong cycle,forget to put it in the dryer, put clothes in the dryer that aren't supposed to go in the dryer, etc. So he's able to do stuff on his own, but cannot be trusted to be alone. They have a babysitter/housekeeper who works 35 hrs a week and transports nephew to his morning activity, drops him off and comes home and does some housekeeping. This amounts to 4 hrs every day, so there is a pretty good amount of housekeeping. In the afternoon she helps prepare snacks/dinner, helps with some worksheets/activities that are supposed to help my nephew's memory/focus, and a few other things. They hired her about 3 years ago and they were paying her $20 an hour.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OPs initial post said nothing about special needs. She said she was looking for a sitter for two teens. People reacted the way you'd expect. When will you all learn that this is a discussion forum? People will disagree with you. That doesn't make them a bad person. No response here was really that bad, OP and yourself just didnt like them. Its the truth. No decent nanny wants to work part time, drive around two teenagers, and do their chores. Even with mild special needs (memory issues?) her daughter should have some basic life skills at 17, including including grocery shopping, household chores, preparing a meal for herself, and if she will never drive she will need to learn to navigate public transportation.

Yes, OP asked a simple question about rates. She didn't specify special needs. When the first poster questioned her parenting approach in needing care she explained. When a later poster spoke in a critical tone about what OP's children "should be able" to do, repeatedly, I think that crossed the line.

The level of need of OPs family is not our business. Her choices in parenting are not our business. Answering her question is appropriate, criticizing her is not.

Yes, this is what DCUM is notorious for in tone and attitude, but that doesn't mean it has to be accepted. I feel for OP and her family and I don't need to know the specifics to be empathetic. I also don't assume that she is failing to prepare her children for life if she is seeking a caregiver. I take issue with the judgmental assumptions being made by a couple of the posters and I don't expect that all people will react that way. Quite the opposite, I presume most people are compassionate and a few nasty souls with time on their hands routinely poison these threads.

Okay, whatever. The answer to OPs question is that she will be advertising an unattractive job, for the reasons already listed, and apparently that is offensive. Because the job is unattractive, OP should be prepared to pay a higher rate than usual in order to attract qualified candidates. In my opinion, she's looking at $18-$20/hour depending on the severity of the needs, and the demands of her family. It would be cheaper, and likely better for her kids in the long run if she were to actually prepare them for life.

Anonymous wrote:OPs initial post said nothing about special needs. She said she was looking for a sitter for two teens. People reacted the way you'd expect. When will you all learn that this is a discussion forum? People will disagree with you. That doesn't make them a bad person. No response here was really that bad, OP and yourself just didnt like them. Its the truth. No decent nanny wants to work part time, drive around two teenagers, and do their chores. Even with mild special needs (memory issues?) her daughter should have some basic life skills at 17, including including grocery shopping, household chores, preparing a meal for herself, and if she will never drive she will need to learn to navigate public transportation.

Yes, OP asked a simple question about rates. She didn't specify special needs. When the first poster questioned her parenting approach in needing care she explained. When a later poster spoke in a critical tone about what OP's children "should be able" to do, repeatedly, I think that crossed the line.

The level of need of OPs family is not our business. Her choices in parenting are not our business. Answering her question is appropriate, criticizing her is not.

Yes, this is what DCUM is notorious for in tone and attitude, but that doesn't mean it has to be accepted. I feel for OP and her family and I don't need to know the specifics to be empathetic. I also don't assume that she is failing to prepare her children for life if she is seeking a caregiver. I take issue with the judgmental assumptions being made by a couple of the posters and I don't expect that all people will react that way. Quite the opposite, I presume most people are compassionate and a few nasty souls with time on their hands routinely poison these threads.

OPs initial post said nothing about special needs. She said she was looking for a sitter for two teens. People reacted the way you'd expect. When will you all learn that this is a discussion forum? People will disagree with you. That doesn't make them a bad person. No response here was really that bad, OP and yourself just didnt like them. Its the truth. No decent nanny wants to work part time, drive around two teenagers, and do their chores. Even with mild special needs (memory issues?) her daughter should have some basic life skills at 17, including including grocery shopping, household chores, preparing a meal for herself, and if she will never drive she will need to learn to navigate public transportation.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I apologize on behalf of all of us who read your brief summary of your daughter's needs and just want to give you a hug, and then read the incredibly callous response of a couple of these responses. Pretty unkind and thoughtless IMO.

Re your actual question, I agree that it isn't the most conventional position, and your daughter's needs may perhaps drive the rate up, but unless she has special needs (beyond what you articulated) I would think you could find someone for less than $20/hr.

Try your neighborhood listservs and resources like that - you might find someone uniquely available and great.

Good luck.

+1000

OP, I apologize on behalf of all of us who read your brief summary of your daughter's needs and just want to give you a hug, and then read the incredibly callous response of a couple of these responses. Pretty unkind and thoughtless IMO.

Re your actual question, I agree that it isn't the most conventional position, and your daughter's needs may perhaps drive the rate up, but unless she has special needs (beyond what you articulated) I would think you could find someone for less than $20/hr.

Try your neighborhood listservs and resources like that - you might find someone uniquely available and great.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:I agree that depending on your daughter's needs, your rate may need to be a little higher, but disagree that it needs to be in the $30-$35 range. Its just that your job is not a very common one (part time I would imagine, children that are old enough to do most of these things themselves, and housekeeping duties) so you're going to need something to make it attractive. Depending on the number of hours, the extent of your duaghter's needs, and exactly what duties you want, I would say around $18-$20/hour, and gas reimbursement.

Pp who suggested the $30-35 range here. I was saying that that would be the high end for someone with a LOT of experience (perhaps a former nurse) if DD needed a high level of assistance. That may not be what Op wants, she hasn't really described what dd's needs are. I was just saying that that is what the high end of the range would be.

If your daughter will be going off to school, or living on her own in the next year or two, you really should be working on some life skills. Your 12 year old as well. Even if the 17 year old can't drive, they should be able to make their own meals, and do whatever housekeeping you're planning to have the nanny do.

I agree that depending on your daughter's needs, your rate may need to be a little higher, but disagree that it needs to be in the $30-$35 range. Its just that your job is not a very common one (part time I would imagine, children that are old enough to do most of these things themselves, and housekeeping duties) so you're going to need something to make it attractive. Depending on the number of hours, the extent of your duaghter's needs, and exactly what duties you want, I would say around $18-$20/hour, and gas reimbursement.

MDmom90 wrote:My 17 year old has memory issues due to brain trauma. She cannot be left alone, nor will she ever drive.

This is crucial information that is definitely going to affect the cost of your nanny. How much help does your daughter need on a day to day basis? Would you like you nanny to have special needs experience? Medical experience? All of these are going to drive the cost up. I'd say starting rate at around $20/hr for someone with no specific skills regarding your situation (ie. a nanny with several years experience, but maybe not with disability experience) going up to $30-35 for someone with a lot of certifications and experience in the field.

My 17 year old has memory issues due to brain trauma. She cannot be left alone, nor will she ever drive.

Why can't the 17 year old drive themself, be given a list with credit card to go grocery shopping, and prepare their own healthy meals?

I did all that plus more when I was 17, and would have been completely insulted if my parents hired a nanny for me.

Hi, I am trying to gauge a reasonable rate per hour (in Rockville) for a nanny/housekeeper for a 12 year old and 17 year old. I would need help with driving them to activities a couple times a week, errands, grocery shopping, and preparation of healthy meals for them. Thank you!