We pay her what she asked for when she started the job - we didn't try to bargain her down at all. We give her 2 weeks of vacation and 5 sick days. We gave her a two week bonus for Christmas this year. I know she does not have money problems - she is going to Vegas with some friends in March while we are away at my brother's wedding! And she does not have any other jobs besides ours'

She does have a commute - 45 mins each way and she puts in 10 hour days with us - so her days are long. Maybe that's part of the problem - I don't know.

We didn't give her a raise after she completed one year with us because she took so much sick time. We never cut her pay for sick time - and felt we could not give her a raise because of that.

My best hunch is that she just has a frail constitution, she seems to get every bug that is going around. Or maybe she is paying for not taking good care of herself in her 20s (she is 30).

Anonymous wrote:Why is she sick so often? Poorly nourished? Sleep deprived? Stressed? You may not know for sure, OP, but what's your hunch?

You're going to get a bunch of responses that it isn't OPs concern. In my early 20's at one of my first nanny jobs, I was being paid a disgustingly low wage. I missed a lot of work that year due to illness, because I couldn't afford to eat right, couldn't afford warm clothing, heat, etc., I was moonlighting to make extra money so not sleeping a lot, and couldn't go to the doctor when I did get sick. My MB started to get huffy about my (unpaid) sick days. It really is best for EVERYONE if you pay your nanny enough, and give her enough PTO to not get run down. When you burn her out, mentally and physically, she suffers, care for your children suffer, and you suffer for all the hassle an "unreliable" nanny is.

Why is she sick so often? Poorly nourished? Sleep deprived? Stressed? You may not know for sure, OP, but what's your hunch?

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP.

I am an immigrant and don't have any family in the United States. So if I use back up I would need to rely on a back up nanny.

I know kids in day care get sick a lot - but does that no get better with time? I have heard their immune systems get stronger over time.

There are agencies you can use for backup but it is expensive and you may get a nanny you don't know. When we lived out of town and had no family or friends there to use as backup we used an agency. It was a little tough when I had to go over everything with a new babysitter but fortunately it didn't happen often and I had no choice, I don't get sick days in my job.

I am the OP.

I am an immigrant and don't have any family in the United States. So if I use back up I would need to rely on a back up nanny.

I know kids in day care get sick a lot - but does that no get better with time? I have heard their immune systems get stronger over time.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for the suggestions. How do you all arrange back up nannies? Do you call them in for occasional baby sitting so that they know your child's schedule and needs and then use them when you have to?

I'm the one who has 4 backups. They aren't backup nannies. They are a relative, a friends widowed and retired dad, a work at home neighbor, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Back-up is not the magic solution to a nanny who is unreliable. back-up is typically more expensive, harder to get and less familiar to your kids since they are there sporadically. That is how you cover in a pinch - it's not how you deal long term.

I would switch to daycare in the summer in your case OP. Yes, they get sick more but most of the sickness is colds if it's a place that cleans regularly and enforces a sick policy strongly. Smaller group/class sizes also can help.

If the kids are getting sick more, and the daycare has a strict policy, wouldn't OP have the same issue with sick days? She does need a back up plan, no matter what route she chooses.

Anonymous wrote:Back-up is not the magic solution to a nanny who is unreliable. back-up is typically more expensive, harder to get and less familiar to your kids since they are there sporadically. That is how you cover in a pinch - it's not how you deal long term.

I would switch to daycare in the summer in your case OP. Yes, they get sick more but most of the sickness is colds if it's a place that cleans regularly and enforces a sick policy strongly. Smaller group/class sizes also can help.

OP here. Thank you. I appreciate your thoughts.

I'm sick and at work. Been with them 2 plus years haven't taken off a day.

OP here. Thank you for the suggestions. How do you all arrange back up nannies? Do you call them in for occasional baby sitting so that they know your child's schedule and needs and then use them when you have to?

Back-up is not the magic solution to a nanny who is unreliable. back-up is typically more expensive, harder to get and less familiar to your kids since they are there sporadically. That is how you cover in a pinch - it's not how you deal long term.

I would switch to daycare in the summer in your case OP. Yes, they get sick more but most of the sickness is colds if it's a place that cleans regularly and enforces a sick policy strongly. Smaller group/class sizes also can help.

You really must get backup. I have four different backup options, two of whom I've never used. But they're there in a pinch.

Why don't you have backup?

If she's used up her time, the rest goes unpaid. You can't say "we're letting her take all this sick time because we really love her, but we really resent it and are considering switching to daycare because of it". Not fair. You need to make your expectations clear.

1, you need back up
2. if she uses all her sick time, the rest goes unpaid. That's how it works in other industries

I am interested in other parent's thoughts on my dilemma:

I have a 22 month old who has been with the same nanny since she was a baby. We love our nanny, and so does our daughter. But the problem is that our nanny takes a ton of sick time. For example, for the last five months she has taken at least one sick day a month (she texted us the morning off to tell us). This is in addition to an entire two weeks off on two separate occasions in the last year and half because of sickness.

We don't doubt that she is really sick when she takes the day off. For a while we thought maybe she is just going through a bad phase, but it does not seem to end.

We have 0 backup and last minute time off throws our whole day in a loop. We have never penalized our nanny for sick time (she goes well over her allotted 5 days a year of course) because she is really a wonderful nanny.

Ideally we would have liked to put our daughter in preschool at age 3. But because of our nanny's constant time off , we are considering putting in in day care/preschool this summer (will will be just over 2). I am however concerned that once she goes to day care, she will start getting sick every month and it will come to the same thing.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Any advise appreciated.