Every family can afford a little something "extra" to express sincere appreciation. It doesn't always need to be monetary.

Nannies can plainly see if their families are struggling financially, or not. It's impossible to hide.

Agree with the last couple of PPs. I work for an incredible family and I Know they hired me at the top of their budget thinking they'd move into daycare after a year or so. Then they realized how helpful having a nanny was and then came #2 etc etc and there has never been a raise at my job NOR has there been any animosity. They were honest with me about their plans and budget, they treat me wonderfully, and I would never leave such a great job and family in the hopes of an extra $1/hr. Be descriptive in your appreciation of her, express regret that you can't afford a raise, do give holiday and birthday bonuses that you can afford, perhaps offer her additional perks in lieu of a raise but ONLY IF POSSIBLE (more pto or health care contribution - tax deductible). However, if you are truly stretched to your limit that is simply that. If you're this happy with her, chances are she's also quite happy and will not hold it against you that finances just can't allow for it right now. Also I agree not to make any promises about future raises, just express your gratitude however you can.

nannydebsays wrote:OP, avoiding or delaying an annual review meeting is just going to make the issue bigger. You need to be proactive, ask to meet with nanny, be prepared with a formal review sheet and a letter of recommendation, and discuss her job performance.

You are going to need to deliver the "no extra money" talk as a good news/bad news/good news sandwich.

Do not under any circumstances try to justify not offering more money this year as anything other than YOUR fault.

"We loved you so much when we interviewed you that we went above and beyond our budget to afford you. That is a mistake we made, and our mistake means that we cannot afford to give a raise this year. We are so grateful for the job you do and the care you give our little MyKaela, and we hope you will be willing to stay with us under these circumstances."

Stretching to hire the person one wants is not a mistake, and there is no need for OP to apologize for that. If the nanny has any life experience at all, she will understand that annual raises are not guaranteed and it is very common for compensation to flatten out when one starts a position at the top of either the market range or the employer's comfort level. That said, I strongly agree that the OP should not concoct performance issues or criticize the nanny for requesting a raise. That will absolutely damage your relationship. Just be matter-of-fact about your feeling that she's already quite well compensated according to market rates and that you'd like to give her more but just can't justify it at this time.

OP, avoiding or delaying an annual review meeting is just going to make the issue bigger. You need to be proactive, ask to meet with nanny, be prepared with a formal review sheet and a letter of recommendation, and discuss her job performance.

You are going to need to deliver the "no extra money" talk as a good news/bad news/good news sandwich.

Do not under any circumstances try to justify not offering more money this year as anything other than YOUR fault.

"We loved you so much when we interviewed you that we went above and beyond our budget to afford you. That is a mistake we made, and our mistake means that we cannot afford to give a raise this year. We are so grateful for the job you do and the care you give our little MyKaela, and we hope you will be willing to stay with us under these circumstances."

Give your nanny what she deserves :

- A 10% raise
- Jewels
- A $1000-5000 bonus
- A fun day at the spa
- A $150 Starbucks card
- A big basket of her favorite treats
- Fresh flowers
- A big basket from Bath & Body Works (or whatever brand she might like)

etc You can add whatever you feel comfortable !

Anonymous wrote: If there are issues to be discussed or things you want to change for the coming year, request a sit-down review/planning session. You could proactively mention then that you're thrilled with her performance but aren't in a position to give a raise because her starting rate was high/ above market. But there is no need to say anything about pay at all; I probably wouldn't unless I was prepared to give her a raise.

Of course, the nanny may request a raise or meeting. Handle the request just as you would if you elected to raise the topic proactively, e.g., note that you are pleased with her work but just aren't in a position to give her a raise right now. If you'd like, you could say that you'll review the subject again in a year and likely bump her rate up then.

So two things. One, there is a difference between a family not being able to afford a rate increase and a nanny's rate being high or over market. Don't conflate the two, and don't lie. Two, please please PLEASE do not say you will consider and "likely" bump her up in a year unless you truly honestly mean it. If you truly cannot afford a rate increase, how much is that really going to change in a year? This is a recipe for angry bitter nanny, and you will RUIN her for future employers. If her rate really is above market, tell her, but if you simply can't afford this nanny, be honest with yourself and with her. The same way you'd appreciate her telling you honestly if this rate increase is a deal breaker. Some nannies will stay without one, others simply can't afford it.

If there are issues to be discussed or things you want to change for the coming year, request a sit-down review/planning session. You could proactively mention then that you're thrilled with her performance but aren't in a position to give a raise because her starting rate was high/ above market. But there is no need to say anything about pay at all; I probably wouldn't unless I was prepared to give her a raise.

Of course, the nanny may request a raise or meeting. Handle the request just as you would if you elected to raise the topic proactively, e.g., note that you are pleased with her work but just aren't in a position to give her a raise right now. If you'd like, you could say that you'll review the subject again in a year and likely bump her rate up then.

Anonymous wrote:Our nanny negotiated a higher raise than we were offering before the job start. We are not planning on giving her a raise as it would hurt us financially.

Then, excuse my language, but what the hell is the point of your question?

Our nanny negotiated a higher raise than we were offering before the job start. We are not planning on giving her a raise as it would hurt us financially.

Anonymous wrote:Oh my, OP, ignore the PP at 9:53. That is some bad advice.

Your financial life is not your nanny's business. Whether you want to give raises or bonuses is at your discretion if your nanny has performed exceptionally and earned it.

We do have a yearly review with our nanny and that is when we decide about raises. We give bonuses whenever we think something warrants it.

First indication of your dishonesty:
9:53 didn't give any advice, lol.
You just don't like what was said.

Second indication of your dishonesty:
You know BEFORE your nanny's annual review if you want to give her a wage increase.

People like you deserve to do your own babysitting, but getting your hands dirty is a bitch, isn't it?

Oh my, OP, ignore the PP at 9:53. That is some bad advice.

Your financial life is not your nanny's business. Whether you want to give raises or bonuses is at your discretion if your nanny has performed exceptionally and earned it.

We do have a yearly review with our nanny and that is when we decide about raises. We give bonuses whenever we think something warrants it.

Are you really struggling financially?

If you are, I'm sure she'll understand your unfortunate predicament.

Nannies can see for themselves what your financial priorities are. Hopefully, your childcare is right behind your mortgage/rent (if it's fulltime care). That's how it is for most families.

Nanny care is out of reach for the vast majority of parents. Some of them recognize the financial soundness of caring for their own children, not to mention so many other benefits your you and your family well-being.

Your nanny is lovely and wonderful with your child, but you have no intention of giving her a raise? Lovely!

At the very least, you should let her know why you won't be giving her a raise.

It is customary to have a review and a raise discussion at one year, and that is completely independant of the holiday bonus. You could wait for your nanny to bring it up, and maybe she won't, but if she does you should be prepared to answer. "We don't want to" and "we can't afford it" are not good answers. They might be the truth, but they aren't exactly going to encourage a nanny who wants/needs a raise to stick around.

Our nanny one year anniversary is coming up in February, is it standard to give a raise in salary or should we give just an anniversary bonus.
Should there be any talk about an increase, since we have no intention of giving an increase or a year end bonus. We just gave a Christmas bonus.
FYI, our nanny is lovely and our daughter absolutely loves her
Thanks