MB here. I trusted our nanny immediately in terms of her ability to manage the kids, keep them safe, be warm and loving with them, etc... I still do. I have never had a minute where I felt uneasy about her level of care or trustworthiness (and we've had her stay 24/7 w/ the kids, in our house, while we were away).

That being said, I still struggle w/ some of the dynamics of the nanny/boss relationship. No one (my spouse included) will ever do everything exactly the way I would do it. So I have to manage that (w/ my spouse, the nanny, grandparents, babysitters, etc...). Also, it is very easy to blur the line between professional/personal and that takes work to manage. And the needs of the kids change over time so that takes ongoing attention/collaboration/communications.

I agree w/ the previous poster that regular scheduled conversations to "touch base" are a great idea. And you have to be willing to let some things go (just as you do w/ anyone watching your kids).

That's assuming you have no safety, basic care, reliability or trustworthiness concerns. Those are the non-negotiables for me. Everything else usually can be worked through or managed with good communication and respect (on all sides).

I couldn't have confidence in anyone. There were some that were definitely wrong but the ones that seemed okay, I was like "They seem okay but you can NEVER know!" It was one of those "nobody is good enough for my baby" situations. I had to give the process over to my husband because I was crazy.

So we narrowed it to two and DH picked the final person. It probably took me about two months to feel really confident and that was with a nanny cam, to be honest.

She put us at ease from the get-go and seemed to charm my impossible baby. We overlapped the last couple weeks of my maternity leave so that we hung out some during the day (she was paid for FT work but came for just part of the day) and that helped me adjust a lot.

Helpful at the start was that we did monthly sit downs on a regular basis at end of the day to try to touch base on the "little stuff". it takes awhile to learn how people like things - i would go by her general attitude. If she seems to blow you off or purposefully ignore you that's one thing but if she just forgets sometimes that's human nature.

Have an open dialog. Don't expect her to read your mind.

What's your nanny doing in particular that you don't like? I would love to offer advice but don't know where to start since I know nothing of your position or nanny

I'm a FTM with a nanny. So far things seem okay with her. There are some minor issues that we have addressed but we don't want to nitpick and go overboard. After how long with your nanny did you no longer worry? Or on a different note, how long did it take you to realize you were not okay with your nanny?