Part of the problem here is you. You have been way too generous with her and now she is walking all over you. She knows she doesn't have to work and she will still get paid. She knows she can leave early and still get paid.
Sit down and talk with her and let her know there are going to be changes. If she doesn't like the changes you make, then let her go. But you need to start giving a set amount of sick days and stick to it. Otherwise, this will keep happening.

Why on earth are you letting her get away with all this. You need a new nanny because this one is just too far gone. She's the type that will keep manipulating more and more out of you. You can't dial back without her throwing a fit so you are best off just replacing her with a professional nanny who gets herself to work and understand that her PTO is her PTO, she doesn't get loads of extra time.

I would talk to her and set boundaries. Give it a couple of weeks or a month after the talk and reassess. Let her know her attitude is becoming a deal breaker for you.

My hubs and I found a temp nanny( 7 months) until daycare opens up. We did 3 trial days which all went fabulous! Then she started work last week. She has worked a total of 5 days with the holidays and what not. She has been wonderful with my little girl. She is very proactive, responsible, does extra and my daughter loves her and is already attaching.

Today she was at my home for about 2 hours while she emailed in a very important meeting. I had to come home. She said she had a cyst rupture. She did look in pain and ill but my boss basically ripped me a new one. I just texted her and told her we didn't need her anymore.

She got upset because we fired her. I am wondering if it was the right decision now? Is it wrong to fire her over this?

P.s. she was late the day before due to the weather.

Why can't she just deposit the check through the ATM like millions of people do? She doesn't need to get to the bank while they're open.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy smokes, who's in charge here? Why did you give her such an enormous bonus if she's such a pain? She sounds really entitled. Why can't she do her banking another time or deposit her pay by a different means? You should definitely not be letting this nanny have an impact on your own job performance ... a nanny is meant to allow you to focus on your job, not have to lie about an emergency to leave early so she can put her money in the bank. I'm sure you can do better.

She had some financial issues which she shared with me. She was obsessing about paying certain debts and was feeling miserable. So, I gave her a bonus like that to be able to pay it and start concentrating on her life and my kids while she is at work

But it sounds like she still has issues ... getting to your house in the cold, finding time to do her banking, needing (extra?) PTO to rest during the holidays.

How is she with your kids???? If she is amazing in all other respects, talk to her, explain that you are concerned she doesn't seem happy and that expectations are not being met on both sides. You need to feel secure not only that your kids are well cared for but that she is happy in her job so you can go and do yours, but if there are things that she needs from you that you can't always provide, like more PTO, a ride from the station every morning, an early finish on pay day to go to the bank, and is going to be unhappy when she doesn't get them, then that is something that needs to be taken into consideration. If you can't resolve the situation by talking to her and making compromises on both sides, then maybe it just isn't going to work out anymore.

Most mommies and nannies have blurred boundaries. If a nanny quit for a better paying job offer, you might be disappointed if she hadn't told you she needed a better income to live on.

The fact that she is sharing her financial issues with you is very unprofessional.

Anonymous wrote:Holy smokes, who's in charge here? Why did you give her such an enormous bonus if she's such a pain? She sounds really entitled. Why can't she do her banking another time or deposit her pay by a different means? You should definitely not be letting this nanny have an impact on your own job performance ... a nanny is meant to allow you to focus on your job, not have to lie about an emergency to leave early so she can put her money in the bank. I'm sure you can do better.

She had some financial issues which she shared with me. She was obsessing about paying certain debts and was feeling miserable. So, I gave her a bonus like that to be able to pay it and start concentrating on her life and my kids while she is at work

Most nannies will not bite you if you talk with them.

Holy smokes, who's in charge here? Why did you give her such an enormous bonus if she's such a pain? She sounds really entitled. Why can't she do her banking another time or deposit her pay by a different means? You should definitely not be letting this nanny have an impact on your own job performance ... a nanny is meant to allow you to focus on your job, not have to lie about an emergency to leave early so she can put her money in the bank. I'm sure you can do better.

Why not ask her?

If you think she is otherwise performing as expected, then I would try talking to her to see what is causing her to be unhappy. But everything you describe suggests this relationship has been heading downhill for a while and is probably no longer in your best interest.

I think a talk may be in order, but I wouldn't immediately jump to firing.

Our nanny has been with us for close to 3 years. She came along when DC1 was 4 months and now we also have DC2 who is one year old. We pay fairly. We give her about 4 weeks paid time of, pay her sick days which are unlimited. We pay for her metro as she does not drive. Gave her $2.5K bonus this year. Help her with some of her errands since she does not drive. She has been exceptional during the first year. She was pretty good during the second. Now she is becoming a pain for me. She is constantly unhappy and exerting psychological pressure on us. just to give an example, we gave her time of so she could rest up from 12/23 to 1/3. We did not have vacation ourselves and worked. We had to come up with a different arrangement for those days and she got paid by us. When we returned she fell sick and did not work half of this week. This is unfortunate. We paid her. Since I could not find back up child care I ended up staying at home and watching the kids. Being a software engineer I had to catch up at night on the work and be up in the night to make sure my deadlines are met. Today I had to go to work pretty early in the morning to make up for the missed time. So, we could not pick her up at the station as we normally do when the weather is bad. She was letting my DH know that she is unhappy about that because it is cold. She also said that she needs to leave earlier today because it is her pay day and it takes her a while to put money in the back. She of course wants to get paid for hours not worked. This means I have to leave the work early. I can always leave work early and say it was an emergency or something and then make up the work when everyone is sleeping but I am getting pretty pissed about the attitude.

Thoughts?