This is all so sad.

I can understand you needing to be with your dad, but I can also understand why they needed to get another sitter-they have no past history of you and so this is all they know. Plus by saying you can come in if they really needed you to,implied that it wasn't 100% needed for you to be with your dad.

I don't understand why you asked five times for kids to stop playing ball. I tell them once, and if they don't stop, I take the ball away.

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to read ops original post. Does anyone know the title or have a link?

I think Jeff deleted it because in it was an email with a lot of identifying information, including the kids' names.

I'd like to read ops original post. Does anyone know the title or have a link?

OP, you may be an excellent sitter, and I'm certainly not saying you're not, but do look at this from the parent's perspective:

1. You were initially thinking it was a fake request, so you were probably a little weird and skittish with them in the beginning.

2. I completely agree that they should not have dumped additional kids on you and they may have truly been terrors, but they did pay you more money than you expected and you were completely unable to control them.

3. They asked you if you could come in the next day, and you said you had some errands to run, so they probably already started thinking about plan B. Then you said yes you could come in, so they were relieved, but then shortly thereafter you said you couldn't be in until later or not at all because your dad is sick. Remember that they have no idea if this is going to happen all the time (does your dad get sick every week and you have to be with him? Is this a one-time thing?).

So from their perspective, you were weird in the beginning, you couldn't control the extra kids, and then you were flaky about coming in and had to cancel last-minute.

Remember that I said that truly it's possible that this perception of you is entirely false and that you just had a really bad start. But even so, can you really not forgive the parents for thinking this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op. What ever made you think thst your needs were more important than the needs. sants, desires of the parents?!?! You are the hp, efho, a child of a lesser god. Your only mission in life is to cater to your "betters."

Oh brother. As a fellow nanny, I have to say this attitude is absurd. Nannying is a business transaction. It's your job to make the product (your childcare services) as appealing as possible. This includes offering excellent care, being on time, having a positive attitude, maintaining credentials and being flexible and reliable. The more you appear to be these things, the more demand there will be for your services. You don't have to do these, but these qualities are what determines your brand. You get to decide whether you are the equivalent of fine dining or fast food and you will be paid accordingly.

+1. OP, I don't think either one of you was wrong necessarily. This was a family that you had only just recently started with and based on the one experience weren't that happy with to begin with. When the father asked you if you could work the next day, you gave a flaky "I might have some errands" response before saying yes and then turning right around and saying no. I'm not saying you shouldn't be with your father - if your father needs you, I would have done the same thing. But you can't really fault the family for thinking you're unreliable based on their limited interaction with you. If it was so important to you to have that job, then you needed to have shown them that you are an excellent, reliable sitter. You didn't do that, and they moved on.

Anonymous wrote:Op. What ever made you think thst your needs were more important than the needs. sants, desires of the parents?!?! You are the hp, efho, a child of a lesser god. Your only mission in life is to cater to your "betters."

Oh brother. As a fellow nanny, I have to say this attitude is absurd. Nannying is a business transaction. It's your job to make the product (your childcare services) as appealing as possible. This includes offering excellent care, being on time, having a positive attitude, maintaining credentials and being flexible and reliable. The more you appear to be these things, the more demand there will be for your services. You don't have to do these, but these qualities are what determines your brand. You get to decide whether you are the equivalent of fine dining or fast food and you will be paid accordingly.

Op. What ever made you think thst your needs were more important than the needs. sants, desires of the parents?!?! You are the hp, efho, a child of a lesser god. Your only mission in life is to cater to your "betters."

I agree that you seemed unreliable and I would have cancelled with you as well. I would never leave a bad review and prevent you from getting future jobs though, I think that's spiteful. When asked, I've even giving positive references for sitters I no longer use! Maybe I'm a pushover but I figure other parents may not be bothered by the same things that bother me.

I agree with the PPs. I do think it wasn't necessary to leave you a review because of it but I would also have hired another sitter to take your place. It's understandable that things come up and if you wanted to be with your dad that's fine but you did cancel on them and it was your choice. As a PP said, you have no history with them and so they have no way of knowing if this is typical or atypical for you to cancel at the last minute. They have no obligation to you since they have no history with you so they had to do what was best for them.

As for the first paragraph, I don't fully understand what happened either. Pretty annoying that 2 disruptive children showed up that you didn't know about but if the parents didn't know either you can't really blame them. On the other hand with all these issues it sounds like it's better for you not to be working for them anyway.

If someone says they need to be with their family member tomorrow who is sick enough to be in the hospital, I would would think that the odds were good that they might need even more time off. You had told the father that you had a "few errands planned" and then confirmed that you were indeed available. Then you call and say you have a sick parent in the hospital but could come if "he absolutely needed you." Face it, you had not demonstrated that you were reliable. If you needed the money for your Dad's medical bills, you should have shown up.

I would consider you unreliable as well and since you didn't really know each other they had know way of knowing whether this was a pattern of behavior or a one time thing. I would have done the same thing. It sucks, but if you say you'll be there, you need to be there barring something very unusual. You're dad is a grown man and presumably has been sick and cared for himself before. Why did you need to be with him?

I have no idea what your first paragraph means. However if you explained your father's illness it's rude of them to post a negative review, but I could understand them finding another sitter to take your place.

I posted about if one family was legit two days ago. Turns out they were and I was over-thinking it. I watched both kids on Tuesday. What I didn't expect was two children that showed up. In their defense, the parents thought weren't coming and did compensate me( $35 more). What I didn't like is they were older, 13 and 9( cousins). The 13yo kept bullying the younger one's. The two kids kept throwing balls around as a game. Ended up hitting the 15 month old in the stomach. I told them 5 times to please stop with the game - nothing. They didn't listen for anything. When it was time to clean up, they ran upstairs to do " homework" while leaving me to clean.

The p-offed part was the father asked me to watch his children the next day because their nanny couldn't come in. I told him I'd have to check because I did have a few errands planned. I got back to him and told him yes. Then my dad, who is sick, had to go to the hospital. I felt bad and had to cancel or come in at 9:30 instead of 8. I told him I'd come in a few hours later or if he absolutely needed me, I'd fore-go being with my dad. Didn't hear anything. Today I wanted to confirm I was still babysitting for them Friday evening. He texts " we had to make other arrangements for the week. Thanks for the help but we need a more reliable sitter". I was banking on that money to help with my dad's medical bills. Not to mention they left a review. I know I shouldn't have canceled but I wasn't suppose to fill-in that day.

Do I have a right to be upset or no because I canceled?