Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, the micromanaging and having to keep your mouth shut while your boss says stupid things is not unique to nannying. I have worked in the corporate world for 10+ years and put up with a lot of crap. Not saying its fair, it's just the way it goes.

OP here. I definitely wondered about other professions. I thought I had done everything I need to do to ease my Mb's mind but just concluded its part of her personality, that I now just say ok and redirect my mind to something else.

Yes, I agree w/ the poster above. This woman certainly has insecurity issues - it's not about you. I'm sure she is a nightmare to work for in any setting! Try to shrug it off as much as possible and good luck finding something else!

Anonymous wrote:Trust me, the micromanaging and having to keep your mouth shut while your boss says stupid things is not unique to nannying. I have worked in the corporate world for 10+ years and put up with a lot of crap. Not saying its fair, it's just the way it goes.

OP here. I definitely wondered about other professions. I thought I had done everything I need to do to ease my Mb's mind but just concluded its part of her personality, that I now just say ok and redirect my mind to something else.

Trust me, the micromanaging and having to keep your mouth shut while your boss says stupid things is not unique to nannying. I have worked in the corporate world for 10+ years and put up with a lot of crap. Not saying its fair, it's just the way it goes.

OP here, thanks for the PP's that understand my situation. To the PP that said maybe I'm not as great as I think, I thought that at one point which is why I had asked if she was unsatified with anything I was doing and asked what to improve on. I make lists for the day, I set up reminders on my phone which she sees me do all the time and I like to do it too because it keeps me organized. Make sure they are coming home to a tidy place and on occasion stay a little later just to finish up if I've had a busy day with the kids. I really wondered what else I could do to ease the reminders.
I want to do better but I can't if she tells me I'm doing ok but I'm really not in her eyes. I've had two other families that told me exactly what they needed and they rarely reminded me of anything on the schedule unless there was a slight change or they needed something right away. They mostly didn't mind how I got things done as long as they were done. I guess I'm making that comparison with my current MB. Anyway, we just may not be the right fit so I'll just move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nannies who constantly complaint about being micromanaged are probably not as good at their jobs as they think they are. Employers don't constantly remind and micromanage nannies because they like it. Regardless of what she tells you about your performance (she's trying not to discourage you, after all), she isn't confident in your abilities and/or you aren't doing things the way she wants them done.

Really? You've never known anyone who simply can't let go of the reins? Do you honestly believe that people continue to employ caregivers for 3 YEARS, if they don't trust in their ability to do the job? I'm 26 years old, married, and have lived on my own a decade at this point, and she continues to remind of things any responsible adult already knows. It is simply her nature, and I'm sure she is the same way with subordinates at work.

Whoops. I meant my mother continues to remind me.

Anonymous wrote:The nannies who constantly complaint about being micromanaged are probably not as good at their jobs as they think they are. Employers don't constantly remind and micromanage nannies because they like it. Regardless of what she tells you about your performance (she's trying not to discourage you, after all), she isn't confident in your abilities and/or you aren't doing things the way she wants them done.

Really? You've never known anyone who simply can't let go of the reins? Do you honestly believe that people continue to employ caregivers for 3 YEARS, if they don't trust in their ability to do the job? I'm 26 years old, married, and have lived on my own a decade at this point, and she continues to remind of things any responsible adult already knows. It is simply her nature, and I'm sure she is the same way with subordinates at work.

The nannies who constantly complaint about being micromanaged are probably not as good at their jobs as they think they are. Employers don't constantly remind and micromanage nannies because they like it. Regardless of what she tells you about your performance (she's trying not to discourage you, after all), she isn't confident in your abilities and/or you aren't doing things the way she wants them done.

^^ Sorry for the typos^^

Anonymous wrote:I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

At some point much like any jobs, you just get tired of being tired. When you know you are at your wits end dealing with such behavior you are bound to say anything. If she is starting to say this after three years, kudos to you because I for one wouldn't have lasted six months. I have come to the point that when interviewing with families about whether they micromanage or not. Of course its asked in a professional manner, however we have to start taking up for ourselves. Much like these parents are interviewing me I am interviewing them. I have my long list of questions because there are some bad apples out there much there are nannies.

OP, I think what you have planned is a great idea. Save for the additional two months and leave, I for one would start looking now

Anonymous wrote:I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

I agree that its risky for OP to have said that, but you don't seriously think the double standard is okay, do you? Nannies take all kinds of attitude from our bosses for whatever reason, we put up with a lot of annoying behavior for whatever reason, and there is a level of informality and familiarity to our relationship with our bosses, that inevitably if you piss your nanny off you are bound to get some of it right back. Its just human nature. And depending on how OP phrases it, I don't think reminding an employer that you've said something three times, and that you've got it under control is out of line. Would you rather your nanny speak up about something you're doing that might push her to quit, or would you rather she quit seemingly out of the blue, without even the opportunity to fix things?

I can see how that would be frustrating but she's probably not trying to undermine you, maybe she wants to feel like she's a part of what goes on when she's away at work. I don't think your attitude is necessary though. The "you told me 3 times already" line is pretty unprofessional and immature. It's normal to have to put up with crap from bosses but its not usual for employees to cop an attitude without getting fired.

Some of these control freak people, are severely insecure so they over-compensate for their mental issues.

I have worked for families like this, and I can tell you, this is one of my worst pet peeves. I absolutely can't stand parents who micromanage me. And sadly, it's one of those things that you don't find out about until AFTER you start working for someone. I have actually had jobs where it got to the point where I had no choice but to walk off the job because I couldn't take another minute of being told what to do. I felt like a freakin' puppet.

I feel your pain.
Suck it up for the next two mos. if you can.

I'm with you OP! My DB is exactly the same way. I got a text this morning reminding me to put a hat on the baby if we go out. Seriously?!? If you thought I was stupid why did you hire me? My employers are micromanagey to the point of watching the online log all freaking day, and if so,etching doesn't get entered within 10 minutes if its usual time, I'm getting texts and emails asking if everything is okay. Good luck finding a better fit!

Long vent
I know this has been talked about a thousand times. Just have to let it out. Yes I have one of those MBs that reminds me to do almost everything. You would think that I've only been working with her for a short time but I've been with them almost three years. She reminds me about garbage days,which I do automatically that when I'm on vacation I take out my garbage on the wrong days. Also baths, library classes, laundry even though I told her my schedule and she knows but she always finds something to remind me of. I have discussed this with her assuring that I remember the schedule because I work best with one. I even have to say to her 'I know you told me three times already' with obvious irritation. And still nothing.

I do my job well, I get things done before she's home, if there's anything she needs to know I tell her. I asked if they were unsatisfied with anything I was doing but she said I'm doing great. Its a part if her personality blah blah blah. And that she wants to keep our communication open as possible but it feels like too much. I don't even get a chance to make a mistake because she's already reminded me!! LOL. I will say its not as bad as when I started and understood I was new. I'm a pretty patient person but I think its run out and its time to move on. I'm sucking it up for the next two months till I reach my savings goal and i'll be searching for a better fit. Till then I have friends, family and DCUM to vent to..OK Vent over..goodnight!!