OP here, thanks PP, that was such perfect advice!

I text more with older kids and with new jobs, and it tends to die down as I get to know a) the kids and b) the parents' expectations and style.

With a baby or toddler, their needs are more tied to immediate physical needs/experiences and a knowledge of child development should allow you to solve most problems. Wih older kids, problems tend to be more individual. Is this kid upset about homework because he's tired or has low blood sugar or he is struggling in math or he had a difficult day socially or he had a bad experience with a previous caregiver or...? Texting what's happening in the moment can help me get to know the kids better and help them resolve issues faster and more smoothly.

OP, I would just start asking yourself the question: "What could MB do with this info?"
If it's likely she will have helpful feedback, share. If you weren't sure if you handled it well and want to ask for specific feedback, share. If it's a cute moment that might make her smile, share. If it's a minir issue that you competently handled and won't cause lasting issues, then make a quick note in a log if you wish but don't text or call.

OP here. What if you are lacking confidence as a nanny? I'm new, this is my first position with these ages (used to working with smaller kids), I'm at the very low end of the pay spectrum *because* I'm new, and I was rush-hired without much discussion on what was expected of me.

Do you think that makes it more acceptable or should I be faking it until I make it?

OP, this is ultimately something you need to negotiate with your employer. I only contact my employers if it's something that can't wait until the end of the day, may be one per week or two. The same for them. I feel that constant contact through the day shows lack of trust from the parents and/or lack of confidence from the nanny.

Anonymous wrote:The specific example from 9:42 seems a bit like overkill, but that's just me.

It's been years since they've had a nanny. I was literally just pulling something out of thin air as an example of what the old nanny would log. Which would be an incident of some sort with whatever the punishment was.

I feel like all off this log business would just interfere with the day. Kids squabble, kids throw tantrums and toys, is any of this so significant that it needs to be recorded? If dc has a particularly bad episode that results in a bigger punishment than a timeout ( like screen time is taken away for the rest of the day, etc.) I will tell MB. Otherwise, I do my job and I let her do her's. I would be irritated with constant texting to find out if Jane ate her peas today at lunch, just as I am sure most MBs would be irritated at constant texts letting them know that Scotty took a Lego from Jane and I had to remind him about sharing.
Use common sense.

Agree with 10:29 that that's overkill. I assume my nanny can handle all problems and has complete confidence in their ability to do so.

Tell me the new things my kid has learned, the cute interactions she's had with the world. Not that someone took a toy from her at the park but you got it back though not before she cried.

The specific example from 9:42 seems a bit like overkill, but that's just me.

Anonymous wrote:I always kept a log of what we did during the day for the parents to see. If they had questions about it, they would ask me about it. But if you have a basic understanding of how they want issues handled, you do not need to go to her every time something happens. Just write it down, and unless they ask, move on.

Yes, this is what DC's nanny did as well. For instance: "11:15 - A grabbed toy from B and B screamed and went after A. A threw toy at B but missed. A was reminded we don't grab toys without asking and we never throw toys, especially at someone. A had to sit on couch for 10 min. as a time out."

No need to text me about it unless the toy hit B and he was hurt more than a bump or scratch.

I always kept a log of what we did during the day for the parents to see. If they had questions about it, they would ask me about it. But if you have a basic understanding of how they want issues handled, you do not need to go to her every time something happens. Just write it down, and unless they ask, move on.

The only times I've texted/called about bad behavior was when the child was extremely disrespectful to me or someone got hurt.

For everyday arguments, I personally wouldn't text. But that's me.

I'm a new nanny and have been with this family for nearly three months. I always give the mom a rundown of the day (my charges are 6 and 9 yo) and keep her informed of any problems we've had with following rules, being respectful, etc. When the position started she would text me throughout the day from her work, so I got in the habit of texting her throughout the day as well, especially when problems arose that I wasn't sure how she'd like me to handle (like the 6 yo having a tantrum).

I've been reading up on different nanny forums and am starting to get the feeling this might not be normal or wise. Have I been making myself look incapable of doing my job? The mom isn't much of a talker and seems to be depressed more days than not so I don't get much feedback on how she thinks I'm doing, but I do get thanked and she seems really friendly on rare occasions so I think I'm okay. Still, for the future, how do you handle everyday conflicts and behavioral issues with your charges in terms of relaying info to the parents? Does less sharing = more job security (assuming it's not an emergency)?