I have an anxiety disorder and I'm greatly offended by the poster who used the term "pill popper". I take one pill every day to manage my anxiety. It's no different from someone who takes a pill to manage their blood pressure of cholesterol. I did try to manage without it and my anxiety was so out of control that I could barely function. It was terrible. I refuse to live that way when there is a medication that can help. Also, there can be side effects but not always. Other than slight weight gain I have not shuddered any negative side effects from my medication. Taking care of one's mental health is just as important as caring for your physical health.

I too have struggled with this in the past and a few years ago, my dr prescribed Celexa. It's very mild, but it has worked wonders for me! I feel like I can live again and not be intimidated so easily by my bosses and such. Seriously, check into it. I have had no side affects from it and it has only helped me in overcoming this.

OP, You are smart to not take medication. I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder in addition to various other things. I was taking 8 pills a day at one point, seeing a psychotherapist and I wasn't even out of my twenties! It was taking a toll on my body, my mind and my health. I could not imagine a lifetime of pill-popping. Finally, I decided to try a more holistic approach by eating right, exercising and doing activities with more intrinsic value to nourish myself. Of course my doctors did not approve at all. They told me I would need medication and therapy sessions to keep my symptoms under control. I've been off medication for five years and have never felt better.

I honestly wouldn't disclose much about your anxiety disorder at an interview. It might close the door to an awesome opportunity. Your job as a nanny is to your charges, provided you are following the parents orders. You can keep a detailed log of what you do with your charges, or write the parents special anecdotes about the day. They will love it and it will keep your anxiety at bay.

Anonymous wrote:Of course I take antibiotics when I'm sick or ibuprofen when I'm in pain, it isn't a matter of principles or anything like that. Those medications are very different from long-term mind altering pills with a score of horrible side effects. I know people who are on these pills to cope with the side effects of those pills, which of course they have to take to deal with the effects of this and this pill... no thank you. As bad as it feels to have intense anxiety, I'm used to it and I know what's happening to me and, for whatever reason, it's natural. I refuse to believe it can't be handled naturally. In my view, those sorts of meds are a short-cut that may cause more harm than health in the long run.

You are smart. There are TONS of potential side effects. Some are much worse than your condition.

I have a minor social anxiety. I don't like being in very large crowds of people for long, especially if they are all mostly strangers. I do have other general anxiety issues as well. I have found though that working with kids actually HELPS my anxiety symptoms, I have something else to focus on and doing things with them pushes everything else out of the way.

You know when you are sitting somewhere doing nothing (like on a bus) and so your mind has time to wander and think random stuff? That is when my anxiety could start to happen, but with kids under my control, I never have that time to let my mind wander and get off focus. They ground me and while I find it awkward at times to meet new people for myself, I never have problems getting to know the other parents or nannies that I find myself running into on a weekly basis and setting up playdates for the kids. Kids really do change my life and make it better.

Anonymous wrote:Of course I take antibiotics when I'm sick or ibuprofen when I'm in pain, it isn't a matter of principles or anything like that. Those medications are very different from long-term mind altering pills with a score of horrible side effects. I know people who are on these pills to cope with the side effects of those pills, which of course they have to take to deal with the effects of this and this pill... no thank you. As bad as it feels to have intense anxiety, I'm used to it and I know what's happening to me and, for whatever reason, it's natural. I refuse to believe it can't be handled naturally. In my view, those sorts of meds are a short-cut that may cause more harm than health in the long run.

I have to completely disagree with you. Though there are people who take a medication for a medication doesn't mean that's the norm. Find a good doctor. Find a psychiatrist that is excellent in their field. Getting on the right medication for depression and anxiety is not something that happens over night. It is a trial and error process with open communication between doctor and patient until the best results are found.

Anyone on a drug to compensate another drug needs to get a second opinion.

Anxiety can be controlled. There is nothing wrong with taking a medication for it. There is nothing wrong with taking it for years or until the day you die.

No one should have to continue to live such a life with so many different medications out there that can help each individual person suffering.

I hope anyone who reads your opinion isn't turned off from seeking out a professional and qualified doctor.

Anonymous wrote:Of course I take antibiotics when I'm sick or ibuprofen when I'm in pain, it isn't a matter of principles or anything like that. Those medications are very different from long-term mind altering pills with a score of horrible side effects. I know people who are on these pills to cope with the side effects of those pills, which of course they have to take to deal with the effects of this and this pill... no thank you. As bad as it feels to have intense anxiety, I'm used to it and I know what's happening to me and, for whatever reason, it's natural. I refuse to believe it can't be handled naturally. In my view, those sorts of meds are a short-cut that may cause more harm than health in the long run.

Ok...so aside from isolating yourself and avoiding uncomfortable situations, what are you doing, med-free, to improve things?

Of course I take antibiotics when I'm sick or ibuprofen when I'm in pain, it isn't a matter of principles or anything like that. Those medications are very different from long-term mind altering pills with a score of horrible side effects. I know people who are on these pills to cope with the side effects of those pills, which of course they have to take to deal with the effects of this and this pill... no thank you. As bad as it feels to have intense anxiety, I'm used to it and I know what's happening to me and, for whatever reason, it's natural. I refuse to believe it can't be handled naturally. In my view, those sorts of meds are a short-cut that may cause more harm than health in the long run.

I am not sure what your opposition to medication is, however you might find that you can't overcome it simple by mind power. You can certainly decrease it and make is more manageable, but it may continually pop back up. taking medication doesn't keep it from requiring mind power. Using non-medicinal approaches are great, however if it is starting to really interfere in your life, you might need to look at other options.

Do you not take any medication at all - no antibiotics or any other prescription medication?

OP here: Thanks for all the replies, especially last PP. Some very supportive comments. I am actually in therapy, have been for the past few months because I don't enjoy living this way. I'm completely against prescription drugs for myself personally, so it's a battle of the mind for me.

As I said in the op, my SA isn't readily apparent to the outside observer. It doesn't affect me almost at all for non-personal interactions such as grocery clerks or doctors. It's mostly with people I interact with regularly but have not grown a friendship with, or those with the potential to be mainstays in my life, such as employers. It's also very hard for me to make new friends.

Actually now that I think about it, my first ever panic attack was brought on by an incredibly hostile MB (one of my first nanny jobs years ago - the mom had stopped taking her anti-psych meds and screamed inches from my face until I broke down... if I remember correctly, I had not done the laundry the way she wanted or something).

To answer a question, I just turned 29. Been making slow but steady progress... it's one of those 'two steps forward, one step back' things. I'm looking forward to my 30's, haha. My reason for posting is because I'll be looking for a new position soon and have started dreading going through the whole hunt and interview process again. On top of everything, I was raised in a very rural area and bullied mercilessly all throughout my school years, so it seems 'social butterfly' was just never an option to begin with. I know every moment of exposure is another step toward more confidence, but it's a very hard road.

How old are you OP??

I was actually very social awkward in my teens and all of my 20s. Once I was in my 30s I kinda "blossomed" and now look forward to meeting new people.

When I was in my 20s and a nanny and went to a get together I also found it easier "hanging" with the kids.

It really was how I thought of my self and how I thought what I had to say was not as important. I was teased a lot in high school and even before. I stayed away from situtations that make me feel uneasy.

Try to find a meet up group in somthing that interests you. I now am part of tons of hiking, camping and all out fun groups.
We have mass waterballoon fights, go to hot springs, do day hikes, over night camping , movies
I am only in one nanny group and they just meet for dinner every so often. The first few times I went to some groups I knew no one, but soon some people are all going to the same groups with you and you start to remember them.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but I've noticed a lot of nannies tend to have a social anxiety or be sonewhat socially awkward. Nannying is an isolating job, so I think it attracts a certain type of person.

OP, there's no shame in seeking help. You might benefit from being on an anti-anxiety medication, even a low dose can make a world of difference.

MB here. I wouldn't hire someone with severe social anxiety. I would be VERY unsettled if you were not able to look me in the eyes and speak directly to me. My nanny hosts or attends playdates almost every single day. They go to baby classes almost each day. Sometimes if I can't get out of a meeting, I send the nanny with the baby for her vaccination or something. What if the doctor needs to ask you question or have you relay info to me and then I need to ask you clarifying questions?

You can't successfully go through life without talking directly to people. You should get professional help for this.

I too struggle with social anxiety, OP, but to a much lesser degree than you. However, if my SA ever started dictating what kind of jobs I did or did not feel comfortable doing, I would know it was an issue. If your SA is impeding on your ability to get a job, or work certain kind of jobs, it is a big problem and you need to seek appropriate treatment. I know it can be hard when you're a nanny and don't have health coverage - I'm actually Canadian but therapy is not covered. I have paid out of pocket in the past to see a counsellor and would not hesitate to do so again if I needed to.

I'm not trying to get down on you or criticize you at all, because I understand how hard it is. Some anxiety can be managed on your own, but some cannot. I recently started seeing a therapist again because I started having anxiety attacks every time I worked out with my personal trainer (which was super embarrassing, but a huge signal to me that I was not managing that aspect of my anxiety well enough on my own). You said "the panic inside is so strong" you avoid interactions. The last thing you want is to start having anxiety attacks while working, and feeling overwhelmingly panicked inside is the last step for me before I start expressing it as an anxiety attack.

I totally understand preferring the company of kids to adults. I love my toddler charge and love hanging out with her all day. Thankfully, her parents are as socially awkward as I so I feel pretty comfortable around them. I've definitely felt intimidated by and shy around parents before. But the bottom line is that to be a good nanny, you need to be able to deal with adults: both for things like scheduling play dates and lessons, but also to model things like talking to strangers and being polite to cashiers, etc. Frankly, and I'm not saying this to be hurtful, if I were ever to hire a nanny and knew they struggled with anxiety (or any other medical condition that could impact their ability to work for me) and weren't actively seeking treatment, I would question their judgment. This doesn't sound like a great quality of life for you, OP, and you definitely deserve more. Even if you are the best damn nanny in the world, you should have more options than nanny and night shift security guard.

I guess my bottom line is that it sounds like your anxiety is affecting your quality of life, which means that it's time to deal with it instead of resigning yourself to a life of avoiding adult interactions. Things can be much better Good luck!

This is a real question so please be kind. I've babysat kids since I was 12 and spending time with them is about the most fulfilling thing I can think of, so I decided to pursue nannying as my profession.

However, I have pretty intense social anxiety, not with kids at all but with others my age and older, which makes it very difficult for me to socialize with my bosses. I always feel awkward and self-conscious around them, whether interviewing or once I've had the job for months. My friends say it's impossible to tell and that I seem a bit shy if anything, but the panic inside is so strong that I do my best to avoid interaction when at all possible (prefer to correspond through email).

One of my other main motivations for being a nanny, aside from my love of children, is the fact that I can spend my day with a little kid or baby without having to worry about dealing with co-workers or bosses for most of the time. It's the only job I can think of that offers this perk, aside from being a night security guard or something. I read about nannies going stir crazy and needing to get out and talk with other adults, but I just absolutely love the baby time. Of course, I have no problem going on outings and getting their little butts socialized... though orchestrating play dates with other parents isn't my strong suit and I prefer to let them play with other kids at the park. I'm a really sweet person, very responsible and I love my charges to bits... but this anxiety makes it almost impossible to land new jobs.

Does anyone else nanny with social anxiety? For parents, would knowing your nanny struggles with this impact your decision to hire or retain her? I would love to not feel so alone.