I'm wondering how a mother would handle this situation? We nannies should deal with it in a similar way. Best wishes, OP.

OP Here: Thanks everyone, I just needed to vent because it was really irritating, and yes mostly because I KNOW she wouldn't have done it if I was L/O's parent. Thanks for the responses! Next week I'll just avoid them and if she actually still manages to get involved I guess I'll have to say something. I didn't mention it to MB or DB because it seems kind of petty and nothing left an impression on L/O so no harm done I guess!

I had problems with this when I was in NYC with a set of "irish twins" 14 months apart. Apart from being "only" a nanny, I was in my lower 30's but appeared to be in my lower 20's.

One woman I knew from the park saw the baby sleeping the the coach. She mentioned that his head was bent down and would give him a crick in the neck. I told her he always sleeps like that and he's fine. Then she reached down and moved him, which woke him up. I purposely went to the park at the time he would sleep so the toddler could play and run more than when they are both trying to run around.

The one that really got in my craw was another kid's grandmother. My charge's parents are from the same country as her. She would speak to my charge in a language I didn't know, when I was standing right there. I was very offended at that. Another time, my charge was playing with her granddaughter a few feet from me. I saw they got into a tiff, and started to walk over to diffuse it. Grandmother, who was right there, gave me the hand, as if to say she had it under control, so don't bother. I could write a book about some of the things this lady did.

One day I vented about this to my MB. She told me that I'm the one she puts in charge of her children, so I should deal with these situations how I choose to. That was the best thing she could have told me. It gave me a lot of confidence.

Adults have no more of a right to step in when a child is with a nanny than if they are with a parent. If the OP's charge was at the class with her mother, would the other mother have stepped in the way she did? Most likely not.

Have you discussed this with your employers, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they don't see you encouraging him so try to help.

Oh, just please stop trying to justify clearly inappropriate parent behavior.

*So THEY try to help.

Maybe they don't see you encouraging him so try to help.

Sounds like you have a good plan to deal with her, OP.

How annoying.

Some parents are so clueless and ignorant.

I would just scoot away and sit somewhere else.

OP Again: also I did interject and decline the snack and next time I plan on staying on the other side of the room. Glad I'm not over reacting too much!

OP Here: I'm out in the suburbs of Georgia and Nannies aren't as common here so that may be why it happens. I guess they aren't used to the idea of an non family member nanny haha.

I would have said "please don't touch my child or offer him food without consulting me." Then I would have moved to the other side of the room. There is no need to ever touch or engage my charge when I'm with them, it would really puss me off.

You need to assert dominance in a sense and tell them to back off.

I totally agree. WOW! Is this NYC or where, OP?
I'd be sure not to allow this anymore, so you need to be prepared for next time. I'd be shocked the first time to.

Wow.

I've been a nanny for years and have never had that happen. Sometimes parents ignore me when they find out I'm the nanny but no one has tried to take over.

That's really incredible, OP. What area are you in?

I've noticed that (sometimes, not too often) when I'm at a class or playgroup and a mother realizes that I'm not L/O's mother but his nanny they start to get all involved with L/O. They start talking to him, telling him what to do and whatnot, like I'm not even there. L/O is shy but I know that if I use positive encouragement and patience and not force that he will warm up and get himself involved when he feels comfortable. But at class the other day a mother put her hand on his back and tried to guide him closer to the center of the group, which basically just confused him (he's two) and made him way less interested in joining in. She also offered snacks without even looking at me for an OK, and tried to get him to dance more wildly like her child (I was proud he was even making an attempt to dance with a bunch of strangers!) I know I'm ranting and venting here, but it just annoys me because I know they wouldn't do this if I was indeed his mother and not the nanny.