Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There have been numerous studies proving that spanking is ineffective and teaches a child to be aggressive. The most important part of discipline is consistency, following through.

The fact that you are so stuck on spanking tells me you're an aggressive person, you get frustrated with kids and are thinking up ways to take out your own frustration rather than thinking of an effective form of discipline that would best benefit the child.

Agreed 100%
From your post it sounds like you have very little background in ECE or psychology and could benefit from a class on positive discipline. There are a ton of ways of handling negative behavior but it's not one fits all. You need to be consistent, tailor it to the child's personality and behavior you're trying to correct.

Don't you think both parents should be on board?

Anonymous wrote:There have been numerous studies proving that spanking is ineffective and teaches a child to be aggressive. The most important part of discipline is consistency, following through.

The fact that you are so stuck on spanking tells me you're an aggressive person, you get frustrated with kids and are thinking up ways to take out your own frustration rather than thinking of an effective form of discipline that would best benefit the child.

Agreed 100%
From your post it sounds like you have very little background in ECE or psychology and could benefit from a class on positive discipline. There are a ton of ways of handling negative behavior but it's not one fits all. You need to be consistent, tailor it to the child's personality and behavior you're trying to correct.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I'm also curious if you think the discipline methods you mentioned don't work and you wouldn't spank a child what exactly would you do if the child does something wrong like say hitting?

I follow whatever disciplining methods the parents use whether it's no dessert after dinner or no 20 minutes of TV, I follow it. But from MY EXPERIENCE, the children will sit in time out and as soon as they are out, they go back to the same behavior of not listening. I don't think many parents realize that the children may listen to them when they are around, but when parents are out of site.. Children could care less about time out or dessert.

Ok but if you are saying that the methods the parents use (that you then follow) aren't working then what would you suggest? You can't just say the parents don't know what they are doing and say they are doing it wrong if you don't have a better alternative.

Again, not every method works for every child so if timeout doesn't work you need to find something else but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. As I said, timeout is very effective for my DS. He used to hit his younger sibling sometimes and now I've watched him start to go to hit him and then change his mind before he does. Of course, if no one is watching he might consider doing it more strongly because his younger sibling can't talk yet but that's the case with any child and any discipline method.

Someone above mentioned it. With siblings, separating them until they have calmed down. If they continue to not listen, I will continue to keep them separated as when they are not near each other, most siblings are okay with one child, continue to talk to them and let them know, for example, you cannot say no because you don't wear to wear pants and we're going outside to play. If you continue to cry, we will not go outside.

I still don't understand your complaint, OP. How is separating the children different than putting them in a timeout? If you tell the child you can't go outside if you don't put on your pants and stop crying, how is that different from taking away a privilege? Both the examples you described are things that you said in your OP don't work.

There have been numerous studies proving that spanking is ineffective and teaches a child to be aggressive. The most important part of discipline is consistency, following through.

The fact that you are so stuck on spanking tells me you're an aggressive person, you get frustrated with kids and are thinking up ways to take out your own frustration rather than thinking of an effective form of discipline that would best benefit the child.

Let me guess, you don't have kids of you own.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I'm also curious if you think the discipline methods you mentioned don't work and you wouldn't spank a child what exactly would you do if the child does something wrong like say hitting?

I follow whatever disciplining methods the parents use whether it's no dessert after dinner or no 20 minutes of TV, I follow it. But from MY EXPERIENCE, the children will sit in time out and as soon as they are out, they go back to the same behavior of not listening. I don't think many parents realize that the children may listen to them when they are around, but when parents are out of site.. Children could care less about time out or dessert.

Ok but if you are saying that the methods the parents use (that you then follow) aren't working then what would you suggest? You can't just say the parents don't know what they are doing and say they are doing it wrong if you don't have a better alternative.

Again, not every method works for every child so if timeout doesn't work you need to find something else but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. As I said, timeout is very effective for my DS. He used to hit his younger sibling sometimes and now I've watched him start to go to hit him and then change his mind before he does. Of course, if no one is watching he might consider doing it more strongly because his younger sibling can't talk yet but that's the case with any child and any discipline method.

Someone above mentioned it. With siblings, separating them until they have calmed down. If they continue to not listen, I will continue to keep them separated as when they are not near each other, most siblings are okay with one child, continue to talk to them and let them know, for example, you cannot say no because you don't wear to wear pants and we're going outside to play. If you continue to cry, we will not go outside.

^^ as a parent a spanking is acceptable. Not as a nanny to do !!! Typo and run on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I'm also curious if you think the discipline methods you mentioned don't work and you wouldn't spank a child what exactly would you do if the child does something wrong like say hitting?

I follow whatever disciplining methods the parents use whether it's no dessert after dinner or no 20 minutes of TV, I follow it. But from MY EXPERIENCE, the children will sit in time out and as soon as they are out, they go back to the same behavior of not listening. I don't think many parents realize that the children may listen to them when they are around, but when parents are out of site.. Children could care less about time out or dessert.

Ok but if you are saying that the methods the parents use (that you then follow) aren't working then what would you suggest? You can't just say the parents don't know what they are doing and say they are doing it wrong if you don't have a better alternative.

Again, not every method works for every child so if timeout doesn't work you need to find something else but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for anyone. As I said, timeout is very effective for my DS. He used to hit his younger sibling sometimes and now I've watched him start to go to hit him and then change his mind before he does. Of course, if no one is watching he might consider doing it more strongly because his younger sibling can't talk yet but that's the case with any child and any discipline method.

Best method as a nanny when dealing with siblings and dealing with fighting and their shanagins is just separating them and that's what I do the most when dealing with multiple kids. If these were my own kids, I would not waste my time repeating myself trying to bargain with a 2 year old. I am the parent and you do what I say, we are not friends lol so a spanking is more than acceptable because as a nanny many kids are used to doing what they want and a "time-out" is not efficient to teach them a lesson.

Anonymous wrote:I've worked for so many families and I am sure 1/2 of the parents who will read this, believe in: time-out, the quarter system and "taking away priveledges." Why don't parents realized this doesn't work? They read these parenting books/magazines and swear by them ! I think it's funny because before all of this technology, people disciplined their kids by teaching them, you work hard for what you want and the good ole' spanking. I would never hit a child, but from all the spoiled brats I encounter and babysit for, I don't understand how parents just let them do what they want. 1 family in specific, both parents are 40 yrs + and their son is 2 and addicted to an iPad.. Take it out of his site, he starts to cry. When he doesn't want to do something, he says no or he'll just cry..he doesn't eat any food but yogurt and snacks.. If I didn't eat what my mom cooked, I just didn't eat. Parents are far too lenient and so aloof from their kids, I think this is pathetic that as a babysitter I have smarter sense than parents who are 10-20 years older than I am.

Wait, you don't think those work to modify a child's behavior? I've seen it work....In fact I can't remember it not working. If there is follow through a spanking isn't needed. I'm not against spanking, I condone child care providers from doing it, but if a parent chooses to not spank, that is their choice.

You or I might see how "entitled" a child starts to become, but we aren't the parents. We have zero right to enforce our beliefs on any parent or child. You can lead by example for your charge. If you do not like the behavior and do not want to take a privilege or give a time out, I suggest you walk away. Tell Timmy you do not like it when he screams for the iPad. He may not hear you as you say it the first time, but once he's calmed down you can again tell him you do not like when he does this or that. Just be matter of fact, you won't sit with him, play with him, or be in the room with him until he stops.

I agree with the eating part. But instead of battling I find fun ways to make the food look fun just to get them to try it, and I also remember how much I hated certain foods as a kid and still do to this day. It isn't crazy for a child to not like potatoes, cauliflower, or whatever. I still hate potatoes.

I just can't get over you thinking those forms of discipline do not work. It's fishy to me.

The less you know your child,
the less you know what they need.

Anonymous wrote:PP again. I'm also curious if you think the discipline methods you mentioned don't work and you wouldn't spank a child what exactly would you do if the child does something wrong like say hitting?

I follow whatever disciplining methods the parents use whether it's no dessert after dinner or no 20 minutes of TV, I follow it. But from MY EXPERIENCE, the children will sit in time out and as soon as they are out, they go back to the same behavior of not listening. I don't think many parents realize that the children may listen to them when they are around, but when parents are out of site.. Children could care less about time out or dessert.

PP again. I'm also curious if you think the discipline methods you mentioned don't work and you wouldn't spank a child what exactly would you do if the child does something wrong like say hitting?

These are different issues you are talking about. Letting children do anything (eat what they want, use the iPad all day, etc) has nothing to do with time outs and other methods of discipline. If you were a good nanny you would also know that different methods work on different children.

For my DS timeouts work very well. You don't use a timeout though if he's having a tantrum because he wants something he can't have. At least for my DS that wouldn't work. We don't give in to his tantrum either though.

I get what you are saying about parents giving in to children too frequently. I think often parents do take the easy way out and give in to whatever they want to avoid tantrums. But you are confusing 2 separate issues. As I said, we use timeouts very effectively with our DS but entirely separate from that he isn't allowed to use the iPad except for very occasionally (same goes for TV) and he doesn't get to dictate what we eat for meals either because we established good eating habits early on.

I've worked for so many families and I am sure 1/2 of the parents who will read this, believe in: time-out, the quarter system and "taking away priveledges." Why don't parents realized this doesn't work? They read these parenting books/magazines and swear by them ! I think it's funny because before all of this technology, people disciplined their kids by teaching them, you work hard for what you want and the good ole' spanking. I would never hit a child, but from all the spoiled brats I encounter and babysit for, I don't understand how parents just let them do what they want. 1 family in specific, both parents are 40 yrs + and their son is 2 and addicted to an iPad.. Take it out of his site, he starts to cry. When he doesn't want to do something, he says no or he'll just cry..he doesn't eat any food but yogurt and snacks.. If I didn't eat what my mom cooked, I just didn't eat. Parents are far too lenient and so aloof from their kids, I think this is pathetic that as a babysitter I have smarter sense than parents who are 10-20 years older than I am.