Anonymous
09/09/2013 17:19
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
I would have quit as well...
Anonymous
09/09/2013 17:16
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
OP is a troll. She contradicted and repeated herself multiple times. I have a feeling the notoriously long winded story telling troll is back. Shoo!
Anonymous
09/09/2013 17:15
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
I didn't mean for her to think I was firing her. I was just upset and in the heat of the moment. While I didn't mind DD visiting. I informed her, to use her judgement. I did let her go out, and she could go outside and as well as a park near by. Driving is what was restricted to twice a day. Also, in the interview it was mentioned, location of job might change.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 17:13
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Anonymous wrote:I would have quit as well!
Helpful. Really helpful
Anonymous
09/09/2013 17:07
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Well OP, your nanny toughed it out way longer than I would have. This sounds like a nightmare situation and frankly, you brought it upon yourself. I won't rehash what every other poster said but needless to say... You have some serious research to do before hiring another nanny as a WAHP.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 16:32
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Separation anxiety is very big around your childs age.
How is your home set up? Does your child see you from the play area. If you walk to the kitchen, bathroom, outside, etc are you in front of your child?
I work for a family where both parents WAH it was great when the baby was 2 months, 3 months so on. But once he hit 13 months it sucked! The house is small. Parents working in the office or kitchen, business partners coming in and out. The play area is the living. So a change was made quick ! DB goes to the business partners loft. MB works fromthere as well or another location.
They no longer come in and out thru out the day.
We also don't hide the fact someone is leaving!
We wave, give kisses, high fives.
Child fusses for a minute. If you sneak out it teaches your child nothing except you disappear.
I am sorry for you, but you need to think of this with your new nanny. Sometimes what's best for you is not what's best for your child.
How is your home set up? Does your child see you from the play area. If you walk to the kitchen, bathroom, outside, etc are you in front of your child?
I work for a family where both parents WAH it was great when the baby was 2 months, 3 months so on. But once he hit 13 months it sucked! The house is small. Parents working in the office or kitchen, business partners coming in and out. The play area is the living. So a change was made quick ! DB goes to the business partners loft. MB works fromthere as well or another location.
They no longer come in and out thru out the day.
We also don't hide the fact someone is leaving!
We wave, give kisses, high fives.
Child fusses for a minute. If you sneak out it teaches your child nothing except you disappear.
I am sorry for you, but you need to think of this with your new nanny. Sometimes what's best for you is not what's best for your child.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 16:15
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Good for nanny. You are a jerk, OP, and your next nanny will also quit. You are the problem.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:54
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
You told her to find another job if she's unhappy with the set-up so that's exactly what she did.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:51
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand why you would say to your nanny to limit the visits to you so as not to disrupt your work, but then also say you would go out to see her on a whim and whenever she fussed. See how confusing that would be for a nanny?
She obviously doesn't get that this is not only confusing for the child but it really does undermine the nanny's authority. She sounds like a nightmare and I hope your nanny finds someone who will appreciate her and your work. You obviously don't like or value your nanny because there was no word of praise in your rant.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:49
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Anonymous wrote:Our nanny of 5 months just quit over the weekend, without any notice. I don't understand how things spiraled out of control; I didn't even know there was even an issue. She seemed fine. I'm a WAHM, mother of a 14 month old. When we originally hired our nanny, it was for PT 4 days a week and I was working outside the house. Things changed and I started working from home, 2-3 days a week, over the course of the 5 months. I didn't see an issue to this, as this was a great way for me to spend time with my child and I still breastfeed, so I was looking forward to not pumping as much.
My nanny had taken the change well, or so I thought; but as time went on, I felt like she just wasn't as excited or thrilled to work. She never told me of any discomforts from WAHP. When she finally brought up the issues of my child being upset and wanting me, and disrupting my work, I informed her I was fine with her visiting sometimes; but told her to limit the visitations. Our nanny had mentioned our child getting upset a lot lately due to wanting me and felt it was distractive to her care and felt it confused our child. I was a bit upset by and didn't take her input too well. I informed her that I felt this was the best arrangement for our family and if she felt this was not a good fit for her job, then maybe other arrangements had to be done. She didn't say much, but over the weekend I received an email from her, stating she had decided things were not going to improve and she felt like she wants to head another direction. She implied, while she knows we want what's best for our DD, we were not a good match and she wished me well. I am left up the river without a paddle. While I do work from home, I have had to call friends and desperately find temp help. I wanted my child comforted and I would walk out and check on her on a whim, and when she fussed. I guess I stepped on her toes, and didn't realize it. I am really heartbroken, because the search for a nanny is daunting and after this debacle, not sure how to find a nanny who wont mind that I am more hands on then desired. My nanny was allowed to go on outings, but I did limit them to twice a week as I don't see why a 14 month old has to be out everyday, all day. I am really heartbroken, because the search for a nanny is daunting and after this debacle, not sure how to find a nanny who wont mind that I am more hands on then desired. Any nannies have any suggestions on how to phrase the right candidate for this job? I am a first time mother and honestly I am a very engaged parent and want to be as much as possible; working from home provided this.
You sounds like a horrible MB to work for. You know it is confusing for your child yet you only care about what YOU want not what is best for the child. I hope you find someone but you dsound like a nightmare MB
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:34
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
I would have quit as well!
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:34
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
I also don't understand why you would say to your nanny to limit the visits to you so as not to disrupt your work, but then also say you would go out to see her on a whim and whenever she fussed. See how confusing that would be for a nanny?
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:32
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
OP, you're going to get attacked, but please just focus on the ones that are constructive.
That sucks that you were dumped without notice, completely agree. You do have to acknowledge, however, that her job completely changed from what she had originally accepted. It sounds like the job became a poor match for her. So it sucks, but let that one go and focus on being a better employer for your next nanny.
You do not have to be less engaged and there certainly are successful WAH parent/nanny relationships, but I can completely see how a nanny, who is trying her best to form a connection with a child, would become very very frustrated if every time a 14mo fussed, mom would run out of the office and cuddle with her. If you want it to work, you need to stop that. It doesn't mean you're not engaged, it means that you hired someone you trust to take the best care of your child and you need to let that person be the one to handle your fussing child during your work hours.
Even a 14mo who has the best mother ever is going to fuss sometimes. In fact, don't you want her to fuss sometimes? What if she wants to pour a box of Cheerios on the floor, your nanny says no, and she starts pouting and throwing a tantrum. In that case, she needs to be left to pout. You have to trust that when you hear pouting or crying, it's not always that your nanny is ignoring your child or mistreating her. It could be completely legitimate. Again, you need to find someone you trust and let her work.
I also think you need to rethink your restriction on keeping your child home. I agree that a 14mo doesn't need to be out of the house all day, every day, but why can't they be out every morning at the playground or library or where ever? A 14mo would probably be happy going new places with her happy nanny and everyone wins. Am I reading your correctly that two out of four days a week your nanny and child are inside all day? Doing what? Can you clarify the reason for this restriction?
OP, let's have a productive discussion about this and hopefully you can get to a place where you can feel good about how engaged you are and also have a nanny feel trusted and able to do their job.
That sucks that you were dumped without notice, completely agree. You do have to acknowledge, however, that her job completely changed from what she had originally accepted. It sounds like the job became a poor match for her. So it sucks, but let that one go and focus on being a better employer for your next nanny.
You do not have to be less engaged and there certainly are successful WAH parent/nanny relationships, but I can completely see how a nanny, who is trying her best to form a connection with a child, would become very very frustrated if every time a 14mo fussed, mom would run out of the office and cuddle with her. If you want it to work, you need to stop that. It doesn't mean you're not engaged, it means that you hired someone you trust to take the best care of your child and you need to let that person be the one to handle your fussing child during your work hours.
Even a 14mo who has the best mother ever is going to fuss sometimes. In fact, don't you want her to fuss sometimes? What if she wants to pour a box of Cheerios on the floor, your nanny says no, and she starts pouting and throwing a tantrum. In that case, she needs to be left to pout. You have to trust that when you hear pouting or crying, it's not always that your nanny is ignoring your child or mistreating her. It could be completely legitimate. Again, you need to find someone you trust and let her work.
I also think you need to rethink your restriction on keeping your child home. I agree that a 14mo doesn't need to be out of the house all day, every day, but why can't they be out every morning at the playground or library or where ever? A 14mo would probably be happy going new places with her happy nanny and everyone wins. Am I reading your correctly that two out of four days a week your nanny and child are inside all day? Doing what? Can you clarify the reason for this restriction?
OP, let's have a productive discussion about this and hopefully you can get to a place where you can feel good about how engaged you are and also have a nanny feel trusted and able to do their job.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:27
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
On one hand you say you didn't even know there was an issue, but then you go on in a horrible run-on paragraph about how you would go get your daughter riled up multiple times a day, would only let your nanny leave the house twice a week, and then encouraged her to make other working arrangements. You also admit you flat out stepped on your nanny's toes.
Anonymous
09/09/2013 15:21
Subject: Our nanny just quit, without notice.
Our nanny of 5 months just quit over the weekend, without any notice. I don't understand how things spiraled out of control; I didn't even know there was even an issue. She seemed fine. I'm a WAHM, mother of a 14 month old. When we originally hired our nanny, it was for PT 4 days a week and I was working outside the house. Things changed and I started working from home, 2-3 days a week, over the course of the 5 months. I didn't see an issue to this, as this was a great way for me to spend time with my child and I still breastfeed, so I was looking forward to not pumping as much.
My nanny had taken the change well, or so I thought; but as time went on, I felt like she just wasn't as excited or thrilled to work. She never told me of any discomforts from WAHP. When she finally brought up the issues of my child being upset and wanting me, and disrupting my work, I informed her I was fine with her visiting sometimes; but told her to limit the visitations. Our nanny had mentioned our child getting upset a lot lately due to wanting me and felt it was distractive to her care and felt it confused our child. I was a bit upset by and didn't take her input too well. I informed her that I felt this was the best arrangement for our family and if she felt this was not a good fit for her job, then maybe other arrangements had to be done. She didn't say much, but over the weekend I received an email from her, stating she had decided things were not going to improve and she felt like she wants to head another direction. She implied, while she knows we want what's best for our DD, we were not a good match and she wished me well. I am left up the river without a paddle. While I do work from home, I have had to call friends and desperately find temp help. I wanted my child comforted and I would walk out and check on her on a whim, and when she fussed. I guess I stepped on her toes, and didn't realize it. I am really heartbroken, because the search for a nanny is daunting and after this debacle, not sure how to find a nanny who wont mind that I am more hands on then desired. My nanny was allowed to go on outings, but I did limit them to twice a week as I don't see why a 14 month old has to be out everyday, all day. I am really heartbroken, because the search for a nanny is daunting and after this debacle, not sure how to find a nanny who wont mind that I am more hands on then desired. Any nannies have any suggestions on how to phrase the right candidate for this job? I am a first time mother and honestly I am a very engaged parent and want to be as much as possible; working from home provided this.
My nanny had taken the change well, or so I thought; but as time went on, I felt like she just wasn't as excited or thrilled to work. She never told me of any discomforts from WAHP. When she finally brought up the issues of my child being upset and wanting me, and disrupting my work, I informed her I was fine with her visiting sometimes; but told her to limit the visitations. Our nanny had mentioned our child getting upset a lot lately due to wanting me and felt it was distractive to her care and felt it confused our child. I was a bit upset by and didn't take her input too well. I informed her that I felt this was the best arrangement for our family and if she felt this was not a good fit for her job, then maybe other arrangements had to be done. She didn't say much, but over the weekend I received an email from her, stating she had decided things were not going to improve and she felt like she wants to head another direction. She implied, while she knows we want what's best for our DD, we were not a good match and she wished me well. I am left up the river without a paddle. While I do work from home, I have had to call friends and desperately find temp help. I wanted my child comforted and I would walk out and check on her on a whim, and when she fussed. I guess I stepped on her toes, and didn't realize it. I am really heartbroken, because the search for a nanny is daunting and after this debacle, not sure how to find a nanny who wont mind that I am more hands on then desired. My nanny was allowed to go on outings, but I did limit them to twice a week as I don't see why a 14 month old has to be out everyday, all day. I am really heartbroken, because the search for a nanny is daunting and after this debacle, not sure how to find a nanny who wont mind that I am more hands on then desired. Any nannies have any suggestions on how to phrase the right candidate for this job? I am a first time mother and honestly I am a very engaged parent and want to be as much as possible; working from home provided this.