Anonymous wrote:Again with the stability...you may have had a valid point as one time but now you have just hammered it to death. Guess how many of these children will remember you a year past your departure, the answer might really hurt your feelings. Yes a primary caregiver plays an important in the early part of a child's life, but you are not as indispensable as you seem to think, nor will your departure cause the upheaval you are expecting.

I am a nanny and I kind of agree. As sad as it makes me I know I am not a permanent figure in children's lives. It makes me sad that I spend all this time loving children and knowing that I won't be there when they grow up and that I will be forgotten pretty quickly unless I come back and babysit.

You should do whatever you think is best for your children.

Anonymous wrote:No one is defending au pairs, sitters, nannies or parents, if they neglect to perform their childcare obligations. In fact, most of us hopefully aren't afraid to speak out against such behavior as soon as we see it.

It is, by the same token, the ultimate responsibility of each child's parents, to leave their child in the care of persons who have proven to be responsible caregivers. How I could do that without ever first meeting the person, is beyond me. Other parents may have more confidence with that, than I do.

I don't understand what this has to do with the post. It actually does sound like OP is defending an au pair that was neglecting to perform her childcare obligations. I think you're saying that you wouldn't have the confidence to leave your child with someone you've never met, implying that's what happens with au pairs? Although I don't understand what this has to do with the original post, I don't see how it's that different from selecting a nanny except that you have the initial conversations and interviews over Skype. The au pair agency does background checks and initial interviews and confirms the au pair's references. Then the host parent looks at applications, contacts those they are interested in, has a few interviews over Skype, contacts the references the au pair gave, and matches. Then the au pair is required to have a week of training with the agency and at least three days of training with the host family before being left alone with the children.

No one is defending au pairs, sitters, nannies or parents, if they neglect to perform their childcare obligations. In fact, most of us hopefully aren't afraid to speak out against such behavior as soon as we see it.

It is, by the same token, the ultimate responsibility of each child's parents, to leave their child in the care of persons who have proven to be responsible caregivers. How I could do that without ever first meeting the person, is beyond me. Other parents may have more confidence with that, than I do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Again with the stability...you may have had a valid point as one time but now you have just hammered it to death. Guess how many of these children will remember you a year past your departure, the answer might really hurt your feelings. Yes a primary caregiver plays an important in the early part of a child's life, but you are not as indispensable as you seem to think, nor will your departure cause the upheaval you are expecting.

This thread has nothing to do with "remembering" you.

I was responding to the poster who feels the need to spout off about stability and revolving nanny doors on almost every thread (and that's not what this, or really any thread she comments on, is about either). All of these threads stay exactly on track every time though, I forgot.

I'm the OP of that thread, and OP, your post has so little to do with mine, I wonder if you even read my post? My "endless complaints" were that "she's rude and unappreciative, not great with the kids, and focused almost entirely on her social life to the exclusion of all else." As a person who holds her profession in high regards, I would think you would be upset when a fellow childcare provider acts the way I briefly described, not defending her right to ignore my children (e.g. found out she was on her cell phone constantly texting when my kids both separately complained she was ignoring them) all while happily accepting her compensation. If I were that bad of a host, I would have rematched with her long ago, but she's having a fun year, she's young and immature, and we survived by way lowering our standards and by not signing up for the program again.

OP, there are bad host families and MBs and bad au pairs and nannies. Sometimes they are mismatched (bad family/good nanny or vice versa) I'm not understanding why we can't operate under the assumption here that people taking the time to post mean well and truly want advice and constructive criticism. I wish we could at least begin from a point where we assume the person is doing their best and wants to be a good employer/employee. We could be helpful to each other and offer suggestions and advice for other ways of thinking.

If you have a suggestion for me, I'd love to hear it. But if you're going to question every statement I make with regards to my situation (how we treat her, what we pay for, what we ask her to do, etc), then how do you want me to react?

Anonymous wrote:This is a a thread inspired by the au pair thread?

Au pairs are usually only here for a year. So, your stability argument is garbage.

Try again, bitter nanny.

What's your point? Nothing? Again.

This is a a thread inspired by the au pair thread?

Au pairs are usually only here for a year. So, your stability argument is garbage.

Try again, bitter nanny.

I'm counting down the days!!!
I feel that with this sort of work, you really don't know what kind of family you will end up with until AFTER you commit to it. You may get a job that you love with a great boss or you might get a slave driver...you never know until it's too late. I, unfortunately, work for a slave driver....and I cannot wait to leave!

Anonymous wrote:Again with the stability...you may have had a valid point as one time but now you have just hammered it to death. Guess how many of these children will remember you a year past your departure, the answer might really hurt your feelings. Yes a primary caregiver plays an important in the early part of a child's life, but you are not as indispensable as you seem to think, nor will your departure cause the upheaval you are expecting.

This thread has nothing to do with "remembering" you.

Again with the stability...you may have had a valid point as one time but now you have just hammered it to death. Guess how many of these children will remember you a year past your departure, the answer might really hurt your feelings. Yes a primary caregiver plays an important in the early part of a child's life, but you are not as indispensable as you seem to think, nor will your departure cause the upheaval you are expecting.

Anonymous wrote:Wow, really? All you're doing is making nannies look bitter and batshit crazy. Thanks, OP!

You may speak for yourself. That's all.

Wow, really? All you're doing is making nannies look bitter and batshit crazy. Thanks, OP!

Anonymous wrote:As a takeoff from the disgruntled AP "host" mother, with her endless complaints, lots of au pairs and nannies can't stand you either. Except your hired help so often cares about your child's stability of care (if you made a good hire), so they're doing everything possible to stick it out. Most of these women develop a real love for your child. The least you could do, is make a little effort to. Remember, it's your child after all.

If there isn't a real problem, let go of the little stuff that gives you an excuss to bitch at the only person, who won't tell you off until she quits. Maybe. Most of them, however, will depart quietly feeling so sorry for your poor child. Doesn't every child deserve as much stability as possible?

Incidentally, your paycheck doesn't cover the price of love, the caregiver gave/gives your child.

*excuse

As a takeoff from the disgruntled AP "host" mother, with her endless complaints, lots of au pairs and nannies can't stand you either. Except your hired help so often cares about your child's stability of care (if you made a good hire), so they're doing everything possible to stick it out. Most of these women develop a real love for your child. The least you could do, is make a little effort to. Remember, it's your child after all.

If there isn't a real problem, let go of the little stuff that gives you an excuss to bitch at the only person, who won't tell you off until she quits. Maybe. Most of them, however, will depart quietly feeling so sorry for your poor child. Doesn't every child deserve as much stability as possible?

Incidentally, your paycheck doesn't cover the price of love, the caregiver gave/gives your child.