Anonymous wrote:

Leave her alone and don't torpedo her if you do get a reference call.

So the OP should lie and say she's wonderful completely omitting the cell phone problem? I never understand why nannies think employers should lie on the reference check. Geez.

No - but the OP shouldn't torpedo an entire reference or job opportunity based on one day, one morning, of a one week assignment.

And I'm an MB - not a nanny, so you didn't read very carefully. I'm not hearing a nightmare nanny here - I'm hearing a nightmare MB to be honest and I think this one week babysitter could pay a high price, unfairly. I'm not recommending lying at all - just some moderation in the assessment, appropriate to the length of the work. Honestly, I'd largely dismiss or not bother with a one week reference as that wouldn't mean much at all to me as an employer..

OP, I currently have an au pair who we've had major cell phone issues with, so I sort of get where you're coming from. I do think maybe your history is getting the best of you a bit here, but maybe we're not getting the whole story. But I'll agree with you on the basic facts - if I had hired a sitter and during her first week, she arrived late and spent 15 minutes on the phone in the first hour she was there, I would not continue with her and I would not give her a good reference. I don't know that I'd give her a bad reference, but I would probably say something like I hadn't been witness to her performance long enough to judge.

That said, especially with the younger set (sorry for generalizing), these cell phones issues have become worse and worse it seems. My AP was pretty much addicted. She had it in her hand constantly, was looking at it every few minutes, was having texting conversations with hundreds of texts throughout the day when she was with my kids.

After I realized the issue, we sat her down and reiterated our expectation that the kids be her focus while on duty. We told her we were prepared to rematch if she didn't think she could do that (and we were - why would I pay someone to sit on their phone all day?). She did a 180 after that conversation. I still don't fully trust that she's off her phone because she zapped my trust with the amount she was using it in the first place, but I think it was critical to point her behavior out to her (I don't even think she got how much she was looking at it or understood what a distraction it was from my kids - her JOB - to be having a side conversation with a friend all day).

I also get being sensitive to the issue since you've been burned once. We definitely added stronger statements to our au pair handbook about cell phone use while on duty. But you have hired a young and inexperienced person for a temporary job. Talk to her. You owe her that much as an older person who exemplifies the type of person she's going to be working for (whether she's a nanny or a teacher). Tell her you noticed that she was on her phone and that you want it to be clear that phone use should be kept to the bare minimum. See if she agrees and understands and give her a chance to improve.

OP, it's the kids last week of freedom before school starts. Why exactly should they be rushing to get dressed? I would have thought it was a delicious treat as a five year old to be allowed to play outside still in my PJs.

And there's nothing wrong with talking about death with a five year old, especially when referencing people they don't know and have no connection to. In fact, it's a great way to get them familiar with the concept of death without the emotional component of people crying, hushed conversations, etc.

OP, you sound crazy.

I doubt she will be using someone she babysat for 1 week as a reference.

Anonymous wrote:

Leave her alone and don't torpedo her if you do get a reference call.

So the OP should lie and say she's wonderful completely omitting the cell phone problem? I never understand why nannies think employers should lie on the reference check. Geez.

OP should tell her to stay off the phone. If she doesn't, her potential employers should absolutely know that.
Don't make such a broad generalization.

Leave her alone and don't torpedo her if you do get a reference call.

So the OP should lie and say she's wonderful completely omitting the cell phone problem? I never understand why nannies think employers should lie on the reference check. Geez.

Anonymous wrote:This just goes to show that a degree and a 4.0 does not a nanny make.

+1

Just because you have been educated as a teacher does not automatically make you qualified to be a nanny. Believe it or not MB's, you need a very particular skill set and years of experience to become a professional nanny. There is a big difference in a babysitter and a teacher. And you my dear have an unprofessional babysitter for a week. If you want different, hire and pay a professional nanny appropriately.

Anonymous wrote:OP, she is there foe one week! You are insane.

Yes she is only here for a week and I might also be insane, but she will also obviously be wanting a good reference. Do you think it is therefore wise for her to be spending 10-15 minutes on her phone shortly after arriving late when there are other things to do? Maybe she had something important to take care of, but she probably should have mentioned it in that case.

This just goes to show that a degree and a 4.0 does not a nanny make.

What are your thoughts on someone who should be working -- say, someone who works from home -- and instead, said employee is posting on DCUM?

OP, she is there foe one week! You are insane.

OP here.

Maybe I was making too much of it.

But to put this in context, first, we had a really bad experience with a nanny who during a trial period was constantly on the phone to the point of negligence. So yes, I'm touchy on this issue.

Second, she'd just arrived at work about 20 minutes before (and she was late), and she is aware of what the kids' routine is - after breakfast they get dressed, brush teeth etc. Instead they were still in their pajamas playing outside, so it felt like she was breaking with the routine in order to use her phone instead of work.

I disagree that it is over the top to have a cell phone policy for a permanent employee. I would just like phone use limited to what is strictly necessary/during appropriate times. Surely it is only fair that employers make these kinds of expectations clear?

Good heavens. She was filling in for you for one week. Let it go.

You're making WAAAAY too much of this - in intensity level for sure, but also for 15 minutes of phone time while the kids were playing.

Leave her alone and don't torpedo her if you do get a reference call.

I'm an MB and I think your whole approach is a little over the top for someone you'd be employing permanently, and absolutely nuts for someone just filling in for a week.

We have a temporary nanny for one week to cover a gap before school resumes. She is 23 and a fully qualified teacher who graduated with a 4.0 GPA, and so far in general she seems great, i.e excellent at deailing with quite feisty kids, plans fun activities. However, I work from home, so I could see just now that while the kids played in the garden after breakfast, she sat down and looked at her cell phone for about 10-15 minutes. Not only is this just basically wrong, but it's not like there isn't anything to do - she should be getting them dressed etc! I don't even mind when nannies carry their cell phones around and check them briefly from time to time. In particular I know that this nanny is looking for a permanent full-time job so needs to be able to communicate with prospective employers, but her cell phone attachment has seemed a bit excessive so far and today is already too much, it's just so unprofessional. I also overheard her talking to my 5-year-old daughter yesterday about John Lennon being shot and George Harrison dying of cancer, which does not seem like an age appropriate conversation. For someone with an impeccable educational background and very successful school placement experiences, you would think she would show better judgement than that, and it is so surprising as she is so great in many other ways and otherwise very intelligent.

She has limited nanny experience so is probably using us as a reference and I dread getting a phone call. I think I'd have to emphasise to a prospective employer that they need to have a very explicit cell phone policy. We have always had a written contract / guildelines in the past that included limiting cell phone use, but as this was just for a week we didn't bother with this aspect of things. Also we had a nanny before who was a qualified teacher and she usually only looked at/answered her phone during break times or if she was out and might be getting a message from us, so I didn't expect to have to micro manage this person since she had a similar background. Lesson learned. I'm thinking maybe I should give her a copy of our contract and tell her that I think it might be helpful for her to understand what some employers' expectations might be since this is all quite new to her, and then I can at least tell anyone who phones for a reference that I've done that.