Anonymous wrote:Did I say that the kids need to run wild? Not at all. I'm just saying which of the two personality types would be preferable. I do certainly not let the kids run wild, but at the same time discipline is not my strong suite. I'm still a great nanny and so is my friend, we're just opposites

And we are saying there is a perfect middle-ground where the best nannies dwell and you're setting your expectations too low if you don't recognize (and strive for) it.

I am structured, nurturing, consistent with discipline, occasionally a pushover (I subscribe to the philosophy that when a child wants to do something you should ask yourself "why not?" before deciding, so I don't enforce a lot of arbitrary rules or boundaries that don't meet the common sense threshold and once in a while can be talked out of my original decision by an enterprising 6-year-old), warm, loving, and focused. Like your friend, I also don't make a big deal out of minor mishaps because it helps the kids move on quicker, but if they're in real distress of course they come running to me for cuddles and comfort. Like you, though, I plan a structured day and don't worry about holding myself to it if our moods, weather, or other activities interfere - we adapt and go with the flow.

So, like we said before, neither "type is preferable" but instead there is a solid middle-ground where we should all strive to be.

Honestly, OP, it sounds like you are just tryin to justify the fact that you are bad at discipline. The fact that your friend shrugs off non-injuries after checking to be sure the kid is okay does not make her "not nurturing." My charges love me to death, but they still love mom and dad more--that's how it should be! Stop looking to feel superior and just focus on improving where you are weak, rather than settig up a false dichotomy to tear down your friend's strengths.

OP is correct. Everyone leans one way or another, both parents and nannies.

Did I say that the kids need to run wild? Not at all. I'm just saying which of the two personality types would be preferable. I do certainly not let the kids run wild, but at the same time discipline is not my strong suite. I'm still a great nanny and so is my friend, we're just opposites

Anonymous wrote:You're setting the bar pretty low if you think a nanny can't be both nurturing and not let the kids run wild. This is Nanny Basics 101. A standard nanny is very loving but always consistent with the kids so they know the rules and follow them.

+1

You're setting the bar pretty low if you think a nanny can't be both nurturing and not let the kids run wild. This is Nanny Basics 101. A standard nanny is very loving but always consistent with the kids so they know the rules and follow them.

Have a strict but structured nanny or a pushover but more nurturing type nanny. I am a newer nanny, and I'm comparing personality types with one of my friends who's vastly different from me but also a nanny. She is strict, and in my opinion sometimes kind of cold, however she can get the kids straight very quickly and is respected by her charges to a tee. Of course who wouldn't want to have zero disrespect..however she is not very nurturing. For example a charge hurts himself and always cries for his mother because this nanny isn't sympathetic. She makes sure he's ok and then directs attention elsewhere. The kids run to mom and dad when they get home, they like their nanny, but I don't know that they love her.
Myself on the other hand...I thrive on my sensitivity and empathy towards my charges. When they're hurt they readily come to me even over their parents. I am still structured and plan out our day of course but I'm not strict about it unless it's necessary I just prefer to be more carefree. My charges love me very much as I do to them and they are sad when I leave every day.

I'm just wondering what type of nanny most parents would prefer. Of course a little of both would be best, but between the two which characterstic are preferable? Sometimes I wish I could be more strict, but I just don't know that I have it in me!