Anonymous
07/27/2013 16:13
Subject: Re:How much English is enough?
OP here.
I have started just repeating every thing I tell her a couple times, weather she says she understands or not. This seems to be improving things thus far. We also sat her down to review the week and gave her the military "shit-sandwich". First we told her what she was doing that was great, then we told her we thought she was having trouble with understanding a lot of what we told her (our fault because we speak so fast and use too big words
then we told her what a great job she was doing. She it took it very well and agreed that maybe her communication level needed some work.
So far, so good.
I have started just repeating every thing I tell her a couple times, weather she says she understands or not. This seems to be improving things thus far. We also sat her down to review the week and gave her the military "shit-sandwich". First we told her what she was doing that was great, then we told her we thought she was having trouble with understanding a lot of what we told her (our fault because we speak so fast and use too big words
then we told her what a great job she was doing. She it took it very well and agreed that maybe her communication level needed some work.
So far, so good.
Anonymous
07/26/2013 08:11
Subject: How much English is enough?
Anonymous wrote:Force yourself to leave her dirty dishes. She'll get it.
God no don't do this. Talk about a passive aggressive way to make sure your AP hates you.
Either she won't actually get it, or when she does, she'll feel embarassed and pissed. I sure would. Especially if I honestly was having trouble with the language.
Tell her again, and ask her to repeat it back to you to make sure she understood. After you're sure she's understood, then you know you have a "bigger" problem, and you can address it as a conduct issue. But give her a little longer to make sure the English is OK. Talk slowly, and show her what you want her to do.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 13:24
Subject: How much English is enough?
Anonymous wrote:New AP recently started, from Germany. Maybe we have been lulled into our current expectation by our prior APs, but I think she has no idea what I'm saying on most occasions. She seems to speak well enough (although not very often) but I'm finding that she agrees to things and then doesn't do them. Since we are only into the second week, I'm hoping it's lack of understanding and not blatant disregard for the job. For instance, the first days that she was here, she really didn't lift a finger to help clean up after dinner, even tho she was still working and I had made a full meal. And when I say didn't lift a finger I mean not the kids stuff (although I ask them to do most of it) or even her own plate. I subsequently explained to her that in our house, if you eat a meal you are expected to help with the clean up - the only person who doesn't clean up is the cook. I also explained that if any dishes don't fit in the dishwasher, the person/people cleaning up will hand-wash those so that the sink is empty. She nodded and agreed. Since then, she started putting her plate in the dishwasher, but hasn't hand-washed a dinner dish yet! I don't know if I should just repeat the instructions as if I never said it, or ask her to explain to me what she thought I said? This is just one of several examples. Any advice?
It sounds like a combination of many "new au pair" issues, including possibly language. (Although what you are describing doesn't seem like a language issue, since dinner clean-up etiquette is something most folks with a little wherewithal can pick up with no words having to be exchanged.) But true language issues, at least for us, become apparent and are problematic when they have to do with childcare. We had one au pair with whom we re-matched over language issues because she literally - and I really do mean literally here - did not understand a word we were saying (our fault; we ignored what we should have learned from Skype interviews). And after two weeks, still didn't, even with sending right away to classes, workbooks, google translate, etc. But - even with her extreme lack of English capability, this AP was able to pick up on etiquette cues and appropriate household behavior and participation. So - it sounds like, while your AP may need some more time to gain better English skills (as most folks do upon first arriving in a foreign country), there are other issues.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 09:41
Subject: How much English is enough?
Force yourself to leave her dirty dishes. She'll get it.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 09:35
Subject: How much English is enough?
I agree that it could be anything at this point, although it sounds like it's more what she's used to than a language thing. If she literally got up from dinner after you cooked for her and left her plate there at the table, I'd say you have a much bigger issue than language.
I agree with the PP - if it is a language thing, I'd suggest writing this stuff down so she has a chance to read it and process it (using Google Translate if necessary).
However, based on the example you gave, I would suggest being explicitly clear on your expectations for living in your household and not letting things go or worrying about being mean. Good luck P
I agree with the PP - if it is a language thing, I'd suggest writing this stuff down so she has a chance to read it and process it (using Google Translate if necessary).
However, based on the example you gave, I would suggest being explicitly clear on your expectations for living in your household and not letting things go or worrying about being mean. Good luck P
Anonymous
07/25/2013 09:12
Subject: How much English is enough?
You need to keep going over it or she will never improve. It could be language, custom or just her attitude, but if you continue to show her what to do eventually she will start to do it. Explain that this is part of her family chores that all family members do, so she doesn't think she shouldn't have to do it.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 07:48
Subject: How much English is enough?
Write everything in a notebook that you keep in the kitchen.
Anonymous
07/25/2013 07:25
Subject: How much English is enough?
New AP recently started, from Germany. Maybe we have been lulled into our current expectation by our prior APs, but I think she has no idea what I'm saying on most occasions. She seems to speak well enough (although not very often) but I'm finding that she agrees to things and then doesn't do them. Since we are only into the second week, I'm hoping it's lack of understanding and not blatant disregard for the job. For instance, the first days that she was here, she really didn't lift a finger to help clean up after dinner, even tho she was still working and I had made a full meal. And when I say didn't lift a finger I mean not the kids stuff (although I ask them to do most of it) or even her own plate. I subsequently explained to her that in our house, if you eat a meal you are expected to help with the clean up - the only person who doesn't clean up is the cook. I also explained that if any dishes don't fit in the dishwasher, the person/people cleaning up will hand-wash those so that the sink is empty. She nodded and agreed. Since then, she started putting her plate in the dishwasher, but hasn't hand-washed a dinner dish yet! I don't know if I should just repeat the instructions as if I never said it, or ask her to explain to me what she thought I said? This is just one of several examples. Any advice?