Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but your options of activities seem very much like the type of stuff a babysitter does from the 1980's- playing in the sprinklers or hose? Sorry but no nanny likes to be coupes up in the house for hours and there are only so many "activities" you can do with a child over and over again before it gets old. You really should have your nanny scheduling play dates or taking him to the park, pool, events, or classes- the nanny isn't the "entertainment"- she manages the children's schedules from home and away from home for the convenience of the parents- but this job sounds like a Babysitting position with a fancy title. If you can't afford to have your child in activities, preschool, day classes or something take him to daycare. The nanny gets bored to you know and typically isn't an in house all day playmate.

This is so odd to me. I'm not paying a nanny to play with my child, I'm paying her to coordinate his activities? And what if she gets bored? Playing is "for babysitters"?

Wouldn't I want to hire someone who likes playing with kids?

More important, what is so bad about the 1980s.

I agree, nothing wrong with the 1980's (most people I know who were kids then turned out pretty great). To address your initial confusion, most "professional" nannies will certainly engage and play with your children, planning crafts, baking, going to parks, etc. A nanny and a babysitter differentiate, however, in the fact that a nanny is not going to spend every minute of their day playing with your child, in fact the good ones should be encouraging a decent amount of age appropriate independent play. Nannies are often tasked with other household duties and in cases of families with multiple children, are there to coordinate the day (driving to activities, making meals, nap times, household chores, etc.). A babysitter is really just there to entertain the kids and should not be expected to do anything else.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but your options of activities seem very much like the type of stuff a babysitter does from the 1980's- playing in the sprinklers or hose? Sorry but no nanny likes to be coupes up in the house for hours and there are only so many "activities" you can do with a child over and over again before it gets old. You really should have your nanny scheduling play dates or taking him to the park, pool, events, or classes- the nanny isn't the "entertainment"- she manages the children's schedules from home and away from home for the convenience of the parents- but this job sounds like a Babysitting position with a fancy title. If you can't afford to have your child in activities, preschool, day classes or something take him to daycare. The nanny gets bored to you know and typically isn't an in house all day playmate.

This is so odd to me. I'm not paying a nanny to play with my child, I'm paying her to coordinate his activities? And what if she gets bored? Playing is "for babysitters"?

Wouldn't I want to hire someone who likes playing with kids?

More important, what is so bad about the 1980s.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you need to just say it more directly. Ask your kid if he wants to do an art project today, suggest one, and if he says yes then when the nanny comes tell her, "Aidyn is REALLY looking forward to making a monster face with you this morning! The art supplies are over there - can't wait to see what you two come up with!"

Or you can confront her directly. "Kimmie, I know Aidyn likes you very much, which pleases me. I think we're having a slight communication breakdown though, and I'd like to nip it in the bud. When I say to you, "he loves to spray the hose around the garden" or "Feel free to fill up the pool and let him play in the water," those are suggestions of things for you to do that he'll enjoy. If there's not some huge reason why you can't do those - and by all means if there is PLEASE let me know - then I'm a little confused as to why you're not doing them. Do you need help to turn on the water?"

Yes, by all means, speak to her like a child...that will go over really well.

Seriously though, OP-try not to be condescending. Just sit down with her and come up with a schedule, ask for her input, and make sure she is getting him out and about as much as possible. It may be the case that she would like to do more and just isn't comfortable yet, or is inexperienced and really doesn't know what to do with herself. Gather a list of parks, free story times, meetup groups, free days at the museum/zoo/aquarium and put them on a calendar, make a pinterest of crafts or clip stuff out of parenting magazines and leave them on the counter. It may feel micromanaging, but she will likely appreciate it (if not, its probably not the right fit). A great nanny does all of these things on their own, but you may need to help things along in this case.

Can you think of any reasons her working environment might make her reluctant to do a messy activity?

I do full-on messy activities with kids, but this one family were so obsessive about every single detail of everything (we weren't allowed to make pillow forts from the couch cushions, for example) that I finally gave up trying and we just did boring stuff that I knew they wouldn't have an opportunity to criticize.

Does she have experience with kids this age? If not, she may be intimidated by these really messy activities and worried that she will lose control (imagine your son drawing on the carpets or some such). I'm not saying it's an excuse, but it may be a reason.

I can think of 3 or 4 more but I think your best bet will be just to ask her. Say, "Susan, I'm really happy to have found you and I can see you take this job very seriously. I am a little worried that Brandon will get bored doing the same activities every day, and for him, boredom can often lead to tantrums. Is there any particular reason you're hesitant to break out the art supplies or blahblahblah?"

Maybe you need to just say it more directly. Ask your kid if he wants to do an art project today, suggest one, and if he says yes then when the nanny comes tell her, "Aidyn is REALLY looking forward to making a monster face with you this morning! The art supplies are over there - can't wait to see what you two come up with!"

Or you can confront her directly. "Kimmie, I know Aidyn likes you very much, which pleases me. I think we're having a slight communication breakdown though, and I'd like to nip it in the bud. When I say to you, "he loves to spray the hose around the garden" or "Feel free to fill up the pool and let him play in the water," those are suggestions of things for you to do that he'll enjoy. If there's not some huge reason why you can't do those - and by all means if there is PLEASE let me know - then I'm a little confused as to why you're not doing them. Do you need help to turn on the water?"

I would hand her a list of local playgrounds, libraries with story time, and different activities in the area like drop in music or drop in art classes. Let her know that you would like your son to be active in the mornings. There's nothing wrong with wanting her to do simple art projects or play with the hose outside either. You hired her, therefore it's not up to her to ignore your suggestions. I'm a nanny and I don't know any nanny who wants to stay inside cooped up all day, or even part of the day. As long as weather permits, my charge and I are out on the town going to parks and music classes. My charge is younger than your son but even going outside and playing with bubbles is fun activity. OP, is your nanny young or older? She sounds lazy regardless.

PP again. I meant to say also that you might need to be more direct with her about what you want her to do. Just saying what she "could" do if she wants to doesnt seem to be working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but your options of activities seem very much like the type of stuff a babysitter does from the 1980's- playing in the sprinklers or hose? Sorry but no nanny likes to be coupes up in the house for hours and there are only so many "activities" you can do with a child over and over again before it gets old. You really should have your nanny scheduling play dates or taking him to the park, pool, events, or classes- the nanny isn't the "entertainment"- she manages the children's schedules from home and away from home for the convenience of the parents- but this job sounds like a Babysitting position with a fancy title. If you can't afford to have your child in activities, preschool, day classes or something take him to daycare. The nanny gets bored to you know and typically isn't an in house all day playmate.

My simple examples were exactly that - simple examples; yet they are different activities from what they are currently doing over and over. Park, playdates, etc. are options. Paid activities, not so much. But there are loads of free things to do, every day, all around.

Do other parents plan out each day's activities or leave much open to the nanny? I'm new at this and trying to find a solution that is best for my child, so please, PP, set your criticism aside.

Ignore the PP, OP. Your suggestions were good ones. If she's not doing the things you suggest I think you need to sit down with her and say you think he's getting bored doing the same things over and over. Some nannies are great about coming up with activities and creative ideas for kids and others need more guidance. You might need to give her more direction as to the variety of things she can do with him. She also may just not be the right fit for you. It doesn't make her a bad nanny if she doesn't enjoy doing a ton of different activities but not the right nanny for you. Since it's the first nanny you've had it's sometimes hard to know exactly what you want until the nanny has already started.

Tell her to go to the park *every* morning. Tell us how it goes today.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but your options of activities seem very much like the type of stuff a babysitter does from the 1980's- playing in the sprinklers or hose? Sorry but no nanny likes to be coupes up in the house for hours and there are only so many "activities" you can do with a child over and over again before it gets old. You really should have your nanny scheduling play dates or taking him to the park, pool, events, or classes- the nanny isn't the "entertainment"- she manages the children's schedules from home and away from home for the convenience of the parents- but this job sounds like a Babysitting position with a fancy title. If you can't afford to have your child in activities, preschool, day classes or something take him to daycare. The nanny gets bored to you know and typically isn't an in house all day playmate.

My simple examples were exactly that - simple examples; yet they are different activities from what they are currently doing over and over. Park, playdates, etc. are options. Paid activities, not so much. But there are loads of free things to do, every day, all around.

Do other parents plan out each day's activities or leave much open to the nanny? I'm new at this and trying to find a solution that is best for my child, so please, PP, set your criticism aside.

Sorry but your options of activities seem very much like the type of stuff a babysitter does from the 1980's- playing in the sprinklers or hose? Sorry but no nanny likes to be coupes up in the house for hours and there are only so many "activities" you can do with a child over and over again before it gets old. You really should have your nanny scheduling play dates or taking him to the park, pool, events, or classes- the nanny isn't the "entertainment"- she manages the children's schedules from home and away from home for the convenience of the parents- but this job sounds like a Babysitting position with a fancy title. If you can't afford to have your child in activities, preschool, day classes or something take him to daycare. The nanny gets bored to you know and typically isn't an in house all day playmate.

Can they walk to a park or playground for an hour?

I'm a part-time, WAHM of a 2.5-year-old. I finally hired a nanny for the mornings I work; she started last week.

Our new nanny so far doesn't seem super creative with regard to finding fun things to do. Books, living room, playroom, take a ball out into the yard...rinse, repeat. When she arrives in the morning or when I'm occasionally walking through the house, I'll make mild suggestions such as, "oh, we have a closet full of art supplies - feel free to dig through...", "he loves to spray the hose around the garden! it's a good day for it -- you could even fill the pool or turn on the sprinkler". Etc. But she doesn't really seem too excited or interested, and doesn't really take the bait.

Any suggestions? I don't want to micromanage and I expect there to be an adjustment period, but I know my son and he is getting bored and frustrated. On top of that, he's not getting out all the energy he needs to burn.

I'd love to hear thoughts and ideas from nannies and parents. Thanks so much!