One of my families does counting to 3. The child knows he will get in trouble if he hasn't done what was asked (or stopped doing whatever) by the time we get to that number. If he is just pushing things, we start with 1. If he is obviously not focusing on trying to do the requested task, then we do 2. Then he will usually take another moment, then go and do it since he knows 3 is coming. But he has oppositional defiance disorder and so this is better than just having him get in trouble after being asked a few times. He gets that chance to push back but only so far before punishment does come - usually then just sent to his bedroom until he feels he can come out and do it/apologize etc.

MB here. I have two kids - almost 4 and almost 6 - and have literally never done a time out. Time outs don't teach kids anything. Use natural consequences and explain the reasoning behind your rules. Talk to them about solutions and alternatives. For example, my 3yo was playing trains with his sister and friend today. His sister had a train he wanted and he was askig for it and asking for it and finally threw something at her. I immediately said "no! We do not throw things at people" and then took him aside for a chat. We talked about why we don't throw things and then I asked him what he was feeling when he threw and then he and I came up with solutions to the issue. He said he wanted to make a train using all the trains so he could see how long it would be. I said that sounded like a neat idea, but that he needed to use his words to tell his sister what he wanted to do and that maybe she would like to help him. He came up with the idea that he could apologize to his sister and then make a train using all the trains other than the one he sister wanted. I told him that sounded like a great solution. Then he and I went back to play, and he calmly apologized, told his sister what he wanted to do and why he needed her train for a minte, and then they made it together.

Much more effective for learning and social development than just yelling and making him sit by himself for some random amount of time.

5 is not too young to understand the concept of a time out.
-Talking back, let her know she may not speak to you that way, if she continues, don't respond
-The PP who suggested "helping" her is spot on as well, if you ask her to clean up her toys and she is not, just start putting things in her hands and cleaning up with her
-Hitting and other physical behavior definitely warrant time outs, calmly (emotionless) tell her why she is being put in time out and then follow the minute per year of age rule. Follow up with a reminder at the end why you put her in time out and suggest (I usually require it) an apology at the end.
Good luck OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is 5 years old. She talks back sometimes and when she is angry she will say mean things to her brother or even hit. She also does not listen when I tell her to do things sometimes.

If you ignore her talking back, she'll stop. No more response from you.
If she doesn't obey you, "help" her do as you've told her to.
How old is her brother?

Sounds good! Thank you. Her brother is 10. He's such a sweetheart, even though he does provoke her sometimes he is really good most of the time.

Anonymous wrote:She is 5 years old. She talks back sometimes and when she is angry she will say mean things to her brother or even hit. She also does not listen when I tell her to do things sometimes.

If you ignore her talking back, she'll stop. No more response from you.
If she doesn't obey you, "help" her do as you've told her to.
How old is her brother?

She is 5 years old. She talks back sometimes and when she is angry she will say mean things to her brother or even hit. She also does not listen when I tell her to do things sometimes.

How old is she?
What's she doing wrong?

Does anyone have any alternative they do instead of time outs? I don't know if time outs really get through to the young girl I am nannying for. I talk with her about why she is in time out and what she could maybe do instead of doing what she did to get into timeout but the bad behaviors keep resurfacing. Any ideas?