Anonymous
07/09/2013 16:38
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
Anonymous wrote:
Or a better question is how is this normally handled in other shares.
I guess my question is how are excessive days without pay handled. At this point family B has taken about 3.5 weeks off without pay and we are about 3 months into the share. Family B has a two week vacation planned in the coming months and have sort of guilted me into not taking my paid vacation days because their trip is an expensive international one times with furlough days. If both families continue at the same rate it really adds up. This next pay period I won't get a check at all from Family B. 3 days notice was given....I would have held off on a big ticket purchase (stroller) had I been made aware that their parents had a planned visit.
Another component that I haven't shared is the close nature of my relationship with the mom of Family A. Shaving someone's legs and getting them Dressed really creates a bond *sighs* at this point I am on more professional terms but there was a huge blur where she confided a lot in me (after she recovered) mostly about how overwhelmed she was and how her husband was of no help. That's why I took on a lot of responsibilities that were out of the realm of normal nanny duty stuff
The problem is she expected that to continue even though she is paying me less and I now have another
Child to care for. Now that the babies are
Moving out of me making all of their food I will have time to take a break and think that if they are napping and I am done with everything related to the children and cleaning the kitchen I should be given a break. She feels like I should take on other stuff because in her words "I don't want to pay you to sit down and relax". This is each families first time having a nanny and I am having a hard time conveying the "givens". But I feel like if I make your life easy then you should at the very least not try to make mine more challenging. Sorry for the novel feels good to vent.
You shouldn't have to hold off on a "big ticket purchase".. Why the heck are you buying $400 strollers? Not one family has a stroller? I would've just stayed in until they purchased one for me to use.
When they bring up the break issue you need to tell them that unpaid lunch is great but who's going to come watch the babies while I run to the deli or Dunkin donuts to grab a sandwhich/coffee? When they say you need to be there on your break then you tell them that it's not truly a break if you're being forced to stay.
Stop being a passive pushover. Seriously.. You need to act like a professional and lay out your reasoning prior to talking to them. They are obviously more business then you and think they can manipulate you into thinking you don't deserve to get paid during your 'break' (definitely not a break though).
If the other commenter is correct and you are the same nanny who comes on here every once in a while to vent then I think you need to get a new job or suck it up because coming on here will do nothing for you unless you take the advice.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 16:29
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Housework and guaranteed are handled differently in different shares. OP- you need to learn to take responsibility for negotiating upfront. There is no universal you should be getting X entitlement and you need to think through what is important for you.
There are very few fantasy jobs that involve no housework, high pay, guaranteed hours with families taking off weeks and weeks of vacation, unlimited PTO etc etc. You negotiate, compromise, and come up with a mutually acceptable offer. This doesn't always mean that both sides are thrilled with what they are getting/giving but both sides have agreed in good faith and there are no further expectations of what you should or shouldn't get.
PP, this is misleading.
No nanny here has suggested that they feel entitled to unlimited PTO, weeks and weeks of paid vacation, or even high pay (whatever you mean by that). What IS standard are guaranteed hours, child-related housework (trending towards none in a share, to be fair to both parties), and a living wage. An employer who can't be satisfied offering those things has no business employing anyone in their home.
If nannies are legally hourly employees then I don't get the guaranteed hours. I don't pay my nanny guaranteed hours. She works, she gets paid. Also, what's a living wage? Many people work for min wage. Is that a living wage? If not then maybe those people (nannies included) should get the education and degrees so they can have a career which pays a better, living wage?
Are you being intentionally obtuse or do you really live under a rock? The minimum wage in our country puts someone solidly below the poverty line, so no it is not a living wage. Guaranteed hours is about reserving someone's availability, which for most hourly employees isn't necessary as there are other employees to pick up their slack. Unless you have multiple nannies, or backups for when she gives your hours away because you don't always use them, its in your best interest to secure your time slot. The idea that anyone who wants an education can just wake up and get it one day is a fairy tale. I'm a 22 year old nanny working to afford going back to school and biding my time until I'm eligible for financial aid because my parents have the ability but not the desire to help me. I wish it were as easy as you say to snap my fingers and be in school. Its not.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 16:21
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Housework and guaranteed are handled differently in different shares. OP- you need to learn to take responsibility for negotiating upfront. There is no universal you should be getting X entitlement and you need to think through what is important for you.
There are very few fantasy jobs that involve no housework, high pay, guaranteed hours with families taking off weeks and weeks of vacation, unlimited PTO etc etc. You negotiate, compromise, and come up with a mutually acceptable offer. This doesn't always mean that both sides are thrilled with what they are getting/giving but both sides have agreed in good faith and there are no further expectations of what you should or shouldn't get.
PP, this is misleading.
No nanny here has suggested that they feel entitled to unlimited PTO, weeks and weeks of paid vacation, or even high pay (whatever you mean by that). What IS standard are guaranteed hours, child-related housework (trending towards none in a share, to be fair to both parties), and a living wage. An employer who can't be satisfied offering those things has no business employing anyone in their home.
If nannies are legally hourly employees then I don't get the guaranteed hours. I don't pay my nanny guaranteed hours. She works, she gets paid. Also, what's a living wage? Many people work for min wage. Is that a living wage? If not then maybe those people (nannies included) should get the education and degrees so they can have a career which pays a better, living wage?
Anonymous
07/09/2013 15:51
Subject: Update & A Question
OP why are you still at this job? You come on here every couple of months to complain, vent, and seek advice. Every time you've been told how ridiculous your setup is, and that you should leave. You've tried and tried to reason with your bosses. They suck. Nothing you say is going to change that. Accept it and keep it moving. You're doing the industry a disservice by putting up with this. Because you did it for so long, they will undoubtedly try it with the next nanny and the next and the next. Hopefully they have a hell of a time finding another sucker, but experience tells me they won't.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 15:41
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
OP some of this is cultural. In some countries where it is common to have household help there is a larger expectation that they will be working the entire time that they are paid and not paid when they are not working. I have several friends and neighbors who are shocked that my nanny is so familiar with us, sits down and has coffee with me in the morning, and does very little work even while the kid's are entertaining themselves which since they are older isn't infrequent. I will admit that my nanny is not a hard worker at all but I like her, the kids like her, she doesn't mind spending hours at the pool, having their friends come over or outside playing soccer outside and its just for the summer.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 15:33
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
Or a better question is how is this normally handled in other shares.
I guess my question is how are excessive days without pay handled. At this point family B has taken about 3.5 weeks off without pay and we are about 3 months into the share. Family B has a two week vacation planned in the coming months and have sort of guilted me into not taking my paid vacation days because their trip is an expensive international one times with furlough days. If both families continue at the same rate it really adds up. This next pay period I won't get a check at all from Family B. 3 days notice was given....I would have held off on a big ticket purchase (stroller) had I been made aware that their parents had a planned visit.
Another component that I haven't shared is the close nature of my relationship with the mom of Family A. Shaving someone's legs and getting them Dressed really creates a bond *sighs* at this point I am on more professional terms but there was a huge blur where she confided a lot in me (after she recovered) mostly about how overwhelmed she was and how her husband was of no help. That's why I took on a lot of responsibilities that were out of the realm of normal nanny duty stuff
The problem is she expected that to continue even though she is paying me less and I now have another
Child to care for. Now that the babies are
Moving out of me making all of their food I will have time to take a break and think that if they are napping and I am done with everything related to the children and cleaning the kitchen I should be given a break. She feels like I should take on other stuff because in her words "I don't want to pay you to sit down and relax". This is each families first time having a nanny and I am having a hard time conveying the "givens". But I feel like if I make your life easy then you should at the very least not try to make mine more challenging. Sorry for the novel feels good to vent.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 13:06
Subject: Update & A Question
Ok, OP, sounds like you're taking steps to get out of this and that you've learned a lot. Hopefully next time you won't accept a job without a contract on each and every one of these issues. Although I don't really get what you mean be a paid 30-minute lunch break. How would that work? Typically there will be some time in your day that kids are napping, if younger, or playing independently, if older, and that's when you might get a little time for yourself. Beyond that, I don't see how you could be getting a break in the middle of a day. Sorry if I'm just not understanding?
But to your question - " is it correct to assume that if I want to take an unpaid day off here and there they should accommodate. By this I mean if one family isn't bringing their child could I opt to take the whole day off?"
The answer is there is no "correct" answer and no, they don't have to accommodate you whenever you want to take an unpaid day off. Of course, you could opt to take the whole day off if you want to, but it doesn't mean the families have to be happy about it. Another thing that should have been in a contract. Since you're leaving anyway, I guess you don't have to worry about it too much; but if you want to be in good-standing for references, I probably wouldn't go assuming they'll be totally fine with you randomly calling out on days when only one family needs you.
But to your question - " is it correct to assume that if I want to take an unpaid day off here and there they should accommodate. By this I mean if one family isn't bringing their child could I opt to take the whole day off?"
The answer is there is no "correct" answer and no, they don't have to accommodate you whenever you want to take an unpaid day off. Of course, you could opt to take the whole day off if you want to, but it doesn't mean the families have to be happy about it. Another thing that should have been in a contract. Since you're leaving anyway, I guess you don't have to worry about it too much; but if you want to be in good-standing for references, I probably wouldn't go assuming they'll be totally fine with you randomly calling out on days when only one family needs you.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:52
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
Anonymous wrote:Housework and guaranteed are handled differently in different shares. OP- you need to learn to take responsibility for negotiating upfront. There is no universal you should be getting X entitlement and you need to think through what is important for you.
There are very few fantasy jobs that involve no housework, high pay, guaranteed hours with families taking off weeks and weeks of vacation, unlimited PTO etc etc. You negotiate, compromise, and come up with a mutually acceptable offer. This doesn't always mean that both sides are thrilled with what they are getting/giving but both sides have agreed in good faith and there are no further expectations of what you should or shouldn't get.
PP, this is misleading.
No nanny here has suggested that they feel entitled to unlimited PTO, weeks and weeks of paid vacation, or even high pay (whatever you mean by that). What IS standard are guaranteed hours, child-related housework (trending towards none in a share, to be fair to both parties), and a living wage. An employer who can't be satisfied offering those things has no business employing anyone in their home.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:51
Subject: Update & A Question
I appreciate the response. But to clarify I did try very hard to get a contract signed before the share began. I worked for th other family because Family B joined the share. I came at a time where mom needed a lot of assistance. I drove her
to PT appointments, did heavy housekeeping and cared for the 3 mo old. When she no longer needed help getting dressed and taken to PT appointments I began doing household management stuff in addition to regular light housekeeping. When Family A's mom wanted to take a class that will eventually allow her to stay home I found Family B to offset the cost of me. At this point Family A and I had a contract that I was happy with outside of the unpaid 30 min break. I agreed to that because as you mentioned not every job is perfect. When the nanny share began it was difficult to get both families to sit down and go over a contract and it wasn't up until recently when I become super burned out from taking care of both babies and heavy housekeeping that I insisted we iron something out.
I don't want a fantasy job but I would like all the benefits a professional nanny can expect since this is what they expect from me I can't even get these parents to pay for their own double stroller I dropped over 400 bucks on a stroller (up until then I was stuck in the house) and at the last meeting it wasn't even acknowledged with a thank you. Quitting would be easy but I do have other things like student loans and rent to consider. Again thanks for the help
to PT appointments, did heavy housekeeping and cared for the 3 mo old. When she no longer needed help getting dressed and taken to PT appointments I began doing household management stuff in addition to regular light housekeeping. When Family A's mom wanted to take a class that will eventually allow her to stay home I found Family B to offset the cost of me. At this point Family A and I had a contract that I was happy with outside of the unpaid 30 min break. I agreed to that because as you mentioned not every job is perfect. When the nanny share began it was difficult to get both families to sit down and go over a contract and it wasn't up until recently when I become super burned out from taking care of both babies and heavy housekeeping that I insisted we iron something out.
I don't want a fantasy job but I would like all the benefits a professional nanny can expect since this is what they expect from me I can't even get these parents to pay for their own double stroller I dropped over 400 bucks on a stroller (up until then I was stuck in the house) and at the last meeting it wasn't even acknowledged with a thank you. Quitting would be easy but I do have other things like student loans and rent to consider. Again thanks for the help
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:15
Subject: Re:Update & A Question
Housework and guaranteed are handled differently in different shares. OP- you need to learn to take responsibility for negotiating upfront. There is no universal you should be getting X entitlement and you need to think through what is important for you.
There are very few fantasy jobs that involve no housework, high pay, guaranteed hours with families taking off weeks and weeks of vacation, unlimited PTO etc etc. You negotiate, compromise, and come up with a mutually acceptable offer. This doesn't always mean that both sides are thrilled with what they are getting/giving but both sides have agreed in good faith and there are no further expectations of what you should or shouldn't get.
There are very few fantasy jobs that involve no housework, high pay, guaranteed hours with families taking off weeks and weeks of vacation, unlimited PTO etc etc. You negotiate, compromise, and come up with a mutually acceptable offer. This doesn't always mean that both sides are thrilled with what they are getting/giving but both sides have agreed in good faith and there are no further expectations of what you should or shouldn't get.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:13
Subject: Update & A Question
I am looking for another job and have several interviews set up in the coming weeks. I still need to leave this job in good standings so I want to be sure I am being reasonable and have done everything I could to seek resolution. We haven't signed a nanny share contract and at this point I only have a contract with the problem family that contract guarantees 30 hrs per week. The lunch break isn't mentioned because as mentioned in previous threads they wanted the break to be unpaid. I knew with two babies I wouldn't always have 30 mins to devote to a break so I opted to be paid for 8.5 hrs and revisit it at the nanny share contract signing.
Would anyone be willing to share the contract you have so I could show my bosses alternatives to screwing me over at every turn? Thanks in advance
Would anyone be willing to share the contract you have so I could show my bosses alternatives to screwing me over at every turn? Thanks in advance
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:06
Subject: Update & A Question
Or a better question is how is this normally handled in other shares.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:05
Subject: Update & A Question
It sounds like you don't have a contract that discusses any of this, so I guess you can go ahead and do whatever you want. There are no set rules for your question - it's whatever you and the family have decided. So feel free to ask, but from the sound of it, you probably won't like their answer.
Anonymous
07/09/2013 12:04
Subject: Update & A Question
You need to quit now. Neither family is going to change and be the family you expect and need. Ive been working in nannyshares for 6 years and have never had any of your issues. My job includes two weeks paid vacation, 4 sick AND 4 personal days, guaranteed hours, all paid holidays off. I do no housework except cleaning up after myself and the children, i don't even do laundry.
everything your saying is so fucked up i can't even believe you haven't found another job yet
everything your saying is so fucked up i can't even believe you haven't found another job yet
Anonymous
07/09/2013 11:55
Subject: Update & A Question
I am the nanny participating in a nanny share where one family has a skewed idea of what light house work is and how challenging it is to do it all with two children underfoot. The housekeeping issues are over I still have to do a lot more than I should participating in a nanny share but it's no longer their weekend pots and pans, sheet changing etc. the other family didn't want it to become an us versus them feel so they weren't as vocal as they assured me they would be with the other family. The issue of the paid 30 min break came up and Family A said "we don't want to pay her for any time she isn't working but I think will give in and allow for a 15 min break.
Now for the question: Guaranteed hours are there so the nanny doesn't experience a change in paycheck and to ensure she is always available when you need her correct? Both families take a lot to days off here and there and now with one family taking a whole 2 weeks off without paying me is starting to hit my pocketbook. The other family has furlough days so this is going to add up. I don't want another battle but is it correct to assume that if I want to take an unpaid day off here and there they should accommodate. By this I mean if one family isn't bringing their child could I opt to take the whole day off?
Thanks for all the advice.
Now for the question: Guaranteed hours are there so the nanny doesn't experience a change in paycheck and to ensure she is always available when you need her correct? Both families take a lot to days off here and there and now with one family taking a whole 2 weeks off without paying me is starting to hit my pocketbook. The other family has furlough days so this is going to add up. I don't want another battle but is it correct to assume that if I want to take an unpaid day off here and there they should accommodate. By this I mean if one family isn't bringing their child could I opt to take the whole day off?
Thanks for all the advice.