Anonymous
06/13/2013 21:35
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So if MB needed to work an extra hour to win this million dollar lawsuit, that hour is just as valuable to the nanny as it is to her? I don't think so. I agree that MB needs to upfront and let nanny know she requires flexibility and won't always be home on time and she should certainly be fairly compensated for over time, but this is just nitpicking.
+1 As a nanny, I agree this is nitpicking. If my employers were constantly running late day after day, then sure I can see it becoming an issue but every so often my MB and DB have to stay late at work so that means I do too, and it's not really that big of a deal. Part of the job.
I agree. There is nothing wrong with occasionally needing to stay late at work. What bothers me is when a parent does so without even clearing it with me, or so much as a text to let me know what's up. That is disrespectful, and not something I tolerate. If earning a bonus means letting you walk all over me, keep your money. I'm not your bitch.
I'm the nanny PP who said it was part of the job...and you're right--I'll agree with you that if I had NO heads up and they just don't show up and I have no idea where they are then yes, that would piss me off.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 20:55
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:So if MB needed to work an extra hour to win this million dollar lawsuit, that hour is just as valuable to the nanny as it is to her? I don't think so. I agree that MB needs to upfront and let nanny know she requires flexibility and won't always be home on time and she should certainly be fairly compensated for over time, but this is just nitpicking.
+1 As a nanny, I agree this is nitpicking. If my employers were constantly running late day after day, then sure I can see it becoming an issue but every so often my MB and DB have to stay late at work so that means I do too, and it's not really that big of a deal. Part of the job.
I agree. There is nothing wrong with occasionally needing to stay late at work. What bothers me is when a parent does so without even clearing it with me, or so much as a text to let me know what's up. That is disrespectful, and not something I tolerate. If earning a bonus means letting you walk all over me, keep your money. I'm not your bitch.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 20:30
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
There is no excuse for habitual lateness. You would be fired if you, nanny, did this two days out of the month.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 20:27
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:Isn't this why nannies get end of the year bonuses and other 'perks'? Nannies don't get bonuses because they did their job. They get paid because they do their job. Bonuses is a sign of appreciation because the nanny was flexible, did things outside of their normal activities, etc. People sacrifice alot in many professions so why do nannies get bent out of shape every-time something changes even slightly? Yet they still expect 2 weeks holiday pay, paid time off, free food, they probably run errands on the job, paid holidays, a birthday gift (well, most lol), etc etc.
Most nannies would never make it in the real world, that must is clear.
You have such a low opinion of nannies because you can't afford to hire one? Who can't make it in thre real world?
Anonymous
06/13/2013 19:27
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:So if MB needed to work an extra hour to win this million dollar lawsuit, that hour is just as valuable to the nanny as it is to her? I don't think so. I agree that MB needs to upfront and let nanny know she requires flexibility and won't always be home on time and she should certainly be fairly compensated for over time, but this is just nitpicking.
+1 As a nanny, I agree this is nitpicking. If my employers were constantly running late day after day, then sure I can see it becoming an issue but every so often my MB and DB have to stay late at work so that means I do too, and it's not really that big of a deal. Part of the job.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 18:39
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Isn't this why nannies get end of the year bonuses and other 'perks'? Nannies don't get bonuses because they did their job. They get paid because they do their job. Bonuses is a sign of appreciation because the nanny was flexible, did things outside of their normal activities, etc. People sacrifice alot in many professions so why do nannies get bent out of shape every-time something changes even slightly? Yet they still expect 2 weeks holiday pay, paid time off, free food, they probably run errands on the job, paid holidays, a birthday gift (well, most lol), etc etc.
Most nannies would never make it in the real world, that must is clear.
Most nannies would never make it in the real world, that must is clear.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 11:41
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
This is talking about parents who take advantage of their nanny's time so they can socialize or whatever. Not the occasions when there is an absolute need for the parents to stay at work longer from time to time. It is making the point that nannies need to be somewhat flexible yes, but also they need to set boundaries to keep from walked all over. As it says, sometimes you have to treat your MB like a child and say no and be consistent about it or you will create an expectation that they can just treat your time like it's no big deal. If they are truly respectful people, then you treat them as the mature adult they are.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 10:15
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:No, other than picking up toys I do not do any child related activities. They have a full time housekeeper who does all laundry, meal prep, etc.
But in those scenarios, the nanny is arranging for the kids not to be in her care for her benefit, not the parents. I don't think it is the same as the parents telling the nanny she has the day off because they are going to the beach. Instead, the nanny is rearranging the kids schedule so that she isn't inconvenienced by the drive.
But, I will say, we have a very flexible and mutually respectful relationship, so maybe I"m just having a difficult time picturing this scenarios in my head.
I think there are solutions that don't involve leaving early too. Ie. You could agree to accommodate extra time every now and then (when not otherwise interfering with your plans) but only if earning your overtime rate for those hours (including for any additional commute dropping off at the baseball field creates). Or you could tell mb you'll still take the kids to their music lesson and watch them for the day as usual, but you have plans immediately after work, and bringing them to the beach won't get you home until 3 hours late, so someone else will have to drive them.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 09:58
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
So if MB needed to work an extra hour to win this million dollar lawsuit, that hour is just as valuable to the nanny as it is to her? I don't think so. I agree that MB needs to upfront and let nanny know she requires flexibility and won't always be home on time and she should certainly be fairly compensated for over time, but this is just nitpicking.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 09:45
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
No, other than picking up toys I do not do any child related activities. They have a full time housekeeper who does all laundry, meal prep, etc.
But in those scenarios, the nanny is arranging for the kids not to be in her care for her benefit, not the parents. I don't think it is the same as the parents telling the nanny she has the day off because they are going to the beach. Instead, the nanny is rearranging the kids schedule so that she isn't inconvenienced by the drive.
But, I will say, we have a very flexible and mutually respectful relationship, so maybe I"m just having a difficult time picturing this scenarios in my head.
But in those scenarios, the nanny is arranging for the kids not to be in her care for her benefit, not the parents. I don't think it is the same as the parents telling the nanny she has the day off because they are going to the beach. Instead, the nanny is rearranging the kids schedule so that she isn't inconvenienced by the drive.
But, I will say, we have a very flexible and mutually respectful relationship, so maybe I"m just having a difficult time picturing this scenarios in my head.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 09:39
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:I get the general idea of this post, but these scenarios don't really make sense. Take #2, if I arrange to have my charge carpool with someone else and that means my day with my charge ends an hour early, do I still make my bosses pay me for the whole day?
Same scenario with #3. If they are going to be with their parents during the day instead of me, does that mean I have to take one of my personal days for this?
Presumably there are other child-related tasks you could do while the kids are away--don't you normally do kid laundry, etc.? You can still be working even if the kids are with their parents.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 09:38
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Anonymous wrote:I get the general idea of this post, but these scenarios don't really make sense. Take #2, if I arrange to have my charge carpool with someone else and that means my day with my charge ends an hour early, do I still make my bosses pay me for the whole day?
Same scenario with #3. If they are going to be with their parents during the day instead of me, does that mean I have to take one of my personal days for this?
Think it through, 9:20.
Yes, you get paid for each hour that the parents have reserved your time, unless they have your permission for alternate plans.
No, you do not use your personal days when the parents don't want you to come to work on your agreed upon work days.
It's unfortunate that some parents will try to take advantage of nannies like that. Shame on them.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 09:20
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
I get the general idea of this post, but these scenarios don't really make sense. Take #2, if I arrange to have my charge carpool with someone else and that means my day with my charge ends an hour early, do I still make my bosses pay me for the whole day?
Same scenario with #3. If they are going to be with their parents during the day instead of me, does that mean I have to take one of my personal days for this?
Same scenario with #3. If they are going to be with their parents during the day instead of me, does that mean I have to take one of my personal days for this?
Anonymous
06/13/2013 08:40
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
Thanks for this! I've just started a new position, and while its been wonderful in most respects, my new employers seem to view my end time as a guideline rather than a hard limit. They've decided to stay an hour late at work or stop by the store before coming home without a word, and I'm trying to figure out how to address it without sounding inflexible. I just want to be respected.
Anonymous
06/13/2013 08:18
Subject: My Time Is Just As Important As Yours...
http://nannybizreviews.com/2013/06/my-time-is-as-important-as-yours/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=my-time-is-as-important-as-yours
From Nanny Biz Reviews:
Summertime often means that schedules go a bit wonky. The days are longer and the weather is wonderful so evening time is now more than just dinner, homework and off to bed. The kids are out of school so there’s a lot more freedom in planning the daily activities. And then there’s travel, families head to the beach house, go on vacation or just to Grandma’s for a long weekend. All of these things can throw a wrench into a nanny’s schedule. Do any of these scenarios seem familiar?
# 1: Mom wants to get in a game of tennis after work so she’ll be “just a little bit late”.
# 2: Dad says instead of picking the 4th grader up at home, he’ll meet you at the ballpark for his game. He promises not to be late so you can be off by your regular time. That’s great except the field is in the opposite direction of your house which means you’ll get home 45 minutes later than usual.
# 3: The parents are going to do a bit of work at home then head out to the beach house mid-morning Friday. They want you to drive the kids down later on in the day after they’ve finished their music lessons. That means you’ll be stuck in the Friday afternoon shore traffic plus you’ll still have to make the drive home before you’re officially off.
As a nanny, you know it’s important to be flexible. And let’s be honest, part of the reason parents hire a nanny is for the convenience factor. But you want to be able to enjoy your summer too. You’d like to join your friends at the pool after work or get an early start on your weekend trip. Yes, you’re the employee but your time is just as valuable as theirs. Your plans are just as important to you as theirs are to them. So what’s a nanny to do?
First, take a deep breathe. These situations almost always trigger our defenses and that mindset won’t help you solve the problem.
Second, try and come up with a few solutions that work for both sides. This is the easy part because nannies are natural problem solvers. For scenario #1, you could drop off your (older) kids at the court with Mom. For #2, you could arrange a ride for your budding baseball player with another mom you often carpool with. For #3, you could reschedule the music lessons so the kids can ride down to the beach house with their parents.
Third, talk with the parent. Start by showing an understanding of where he or she is coming from. Statements like “I know you love playing tennis and after work in the summer is about the only time you get to play outside.”, or “I know it’s important to you to be at Sam’s game and it’s hard juggling that with work.” will go a long way towards setting the stage for a respectful and productive conversation. Follow that with “however”, the ultimate transition word. Then state your boundary. Next propose your solution. Make sure you include all the details and add how it will help both of you.
So if you’re talking to your Mom Boss who wants to get in a game of tennis after work, your response to her might sound something like this.
“I know you love tennis and playing after work is about the only time you get to play outside. The rest of the time you’re stuck in those bubbles. However I have plans tonight and can’t stay late. I can drop the kids off at the court with a backpack full of snacks along with their i-pads at 6.00. You can finish your game while they get in their daily screen time. Will that work for you?”
If she says no, move onto your second possible solution. And third if you have one. But remember, ultimately this is her problem to solve. You’ve given her lots of great choices that will allow her to get her needs met. If none of those work for her, then her last option is to skip tennis and come home on time. What I find is that parents usually jump on the solutions presented if, and this is a big if, they take your boundary seriously. And that has little to do with them and a lot to do with you. Have you set boundaries in the past and stuck to them or have you caved when the parents applied a little pressure? Each time you cave, you’re teaching them that the way to get what they want is to apply pressure. As a nanny, you know better. That’s why with kids when you say no you stick to it. Because if you don’t, you know what’s going to happens the next time the same situation comes up.
If you haven’t been sticking to your boundaries, don’t worry. It’s never too late to start. Going back to our example, if the mom rejects the solutions presented then restate your boundary. That might sound something like this. “I’m sorry none of those solutions work. However I do still need to be off by 6:00.” Yes, this is incredibly hard to do but the alternative, living with being consistently taken advantage of, is even harder. And yes, a mom who’s used to getting her own way will probably give you some push back or a huffy attitude. But let those things go for now. Focus on stating and restating your boundary (I call this a broken record statement) and reaching your goal; getting off on time. Each time you define and stick to your boundaries, you’re teaching your employers how you expect to be treated. This can truly transform a relationship.
So now go out and enjoy the summer!!
From Nanny Biz Reviews:
Summertime often means that schedules go a bit wonky. The days are longer and the weather is wonderful so evening time is now more than just dinner, homework and off to bed. The kids are out of school so there’s a lot more freedom in planning the daily activities. And then there’s travel, families head to the beach house, go on vacation or just to Grandma’s for a long weekend. All of these things can throw a wrench into a nanny’s schedule. Do any of these scenarios seem familiar?
# 1: Mom wants to get in a game of tennis after work so she’ll be “just a little bit late”.
# 2: Dad says instead of picking the 4th grader up at home, he’ll meet you at the ballpark for his game. He promises not to be late so you can be off by your regular time. That’s great except the field is in the opposite direction of your house which means you’ll get home 45 minutes later than usual.
# 3: The parents are going to do a bit of work at home then head out to the beach house mid-morning Friday. They want you to drive the kids down later on in the day after they’ve finished their music lessons. That means you’ll be stuck in the Friday afternoon shore traffic plus you’ll still have to make the drive home before you’re officially off.
As a nanny, you know it’s important to be flexible. And let’s be honest, part of the reason parents hire a nanny is for the convenience factor. But you want to be able to enjoy your summer too. You’d like to join your friends at the pool after work or get an early start on your weekend trip. Yes, you’re the employee but your time is just as valuable as theirs. Your plans are just as important to you as theirs are to them. So what’s a nanny to do?
First, take a deep breathe. These situations almost always trigger our defenses and that mindset won’t help you solve the problem.
Second, try and come up with a few solutions that work for both sides. This is the easy part because nannies are natural problem solvers. For scenario #1, you could drop off your (older) kids at the court with Mom. For #2, you could arrange a ride for your budding baseball player with another mom you often carpool with. For #3, you could reschedule the music lessons so the kids can ride down to the beach house with their parents.
Third, talk with the parent. Start by showing an understanding of where he or she is coming from. Statements like “I know you love playing tennis and after work in the summer is about the only time you get to play outside.”, or “I know it’s important to you to be at Sam’s game and it’s hard juggling that with work.” will go a long way towards setting the stage for a respectful and productive conversation. Follow that with “however”, the ultimate transition word. Then state your boundary. Next propose your solution. Make sure you include all the details and add how it will help both of you.
So if you’re talking to your Mom Boss who wants to get in a game of tennis after work, your response to her might sound something like this.
“I know you love tennis and playing after work is about the only time you get to play outside. The rest of the time you’re stuck in those bubbles. However I have plans tonight and can’t stay late. I can drop the kids off at the court with a backpack full of snacks along with their i-pads at 6.00. You can finish your game while they get in their daily screen time. Will that work for you?”
If she says no, move onto your second possible solution. And third if you have one. But remember, ultimately this is her problem to solve. You’ve given her lots of great choices that will allow her to get her needs met. If none of those work for her, then her last option is to skip tennis and come home on time. What I find is that parents usually jump on the solutions presented if, and this is a big if, they take your boundary seriously. And that has little to do with them and a lot to do with you. Have you set boundaries in the past and stuck to them or have you caved when the parents applied a little pressure? Each time you cave, you’re teaching them that the way to get what they want is to apply pressure. As a nanny, you know better. That’s why with kids when you say no you stick to it. Because if you don’t, you know what’s going to happens the next time the same situation comes up.
If you haven’t been sticking to your boundaries, don’t worry. It’s never too late to start. Going back to our example, if the mom rejects the solutions presented then restate your boundary. That might sound something like this. “I’m sorry none of those solutions work. However I do still need to be off by 6:00.” Yes, this is incredibly hard to do but the alternative, living with being consistently taken advantage of, is even harder. And yes, a mom who’s used to getting her own way will probably give you some push back or a huffy attitude. But let those things go for now. Focus on stating and restating your boundary (I call this a broken record statement) and reaching your goal; getting off on time. Each time you define and stick to your boundaries, you’re teaching your employers how you expect to be treated. This can truly transform a relationship.
So now go out and enjoy the summer!!