Anonymous
06/12/2013 12:08
Subject: Re:How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
Anonymous wrote:OP --
I think you owe an AP who has worked with you for a year a little flexibility. It's not always possible for them to get a flight home on EXACTLY the last day you want them to work. I have always told my incoming au pairs my "rule". When you are the newcomer -- you need your privacy a bit more than the outgoing AP who presumably has become comfortable with your family. Thus, when the new AP comes-- she gets her room right away. The outgoing AP has to survive with the couch, or the inflatable mattress, etc. All of my outgoing APs have been very understanding of the fact that I only have one room... and they probably remember what its like your first few weeks with a new family. You really NEED some down time and privacy.
This has always worked reasonable well for us, and we've only had the outgoing APs stay no more than 3-6 days past the end of their contract. On two occasions, they have gone travelling, and then come back for a few days before leaving. I ALWAYS host them when they return. Frankly, I miss them by that point, and I WANT to see them one more time before they leave. But, then again, I've been very lucky with my au pairs. I've had some really great ones.
This is really helpful and completely doable. Thanks for your input PP!
Anonymous
06/12/2013 10:53
Subject: Re:How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
OP --
I think you owe an AP who has worked with you for a year a little flexibility. It's not always possible for them to get a flight home on EXACTLY the last day you want them to work. I have always told my incoming au pairs my "rule". When you are the newcomer -- you need your privacy a bit more than the outgoing AP who presumably has become comfortable with your family. Thus, when the new AP comes-- she gets her room right away. The outgoing AP has to survive with the couch, or the inflatable mattress, etc. All of my outgoing APs have been very understanding of the fact that I only have one room... and they probably remember what its like your first few weeks with a new family. You really NEED some down time and privacy.
This has always worked reasonable well for us, and we've only had the outgoing APs stay no more than 3-6 days past the end of their contract. On two occasions, they have gone travelling, and then come back for a few days before leaving. I ALWAYS host them when they return. Frankly, I miss them by that point, and I WANT to see them one more time before they leave. But, then again, I've been very lucky with my au pairs. I've had some really great ones.
I think you owe an AP who has worked with you for a year a little flexibility. It's not always possible for them to get a flight home on EXACTLY the last day you want them to work. I have always told my incoming au pairs my "rule". When you are the newcomer -- you need your privacy a bit more than the outgoing AP who presumably has become comfortable with your family. Thus, when the new AP comes-- she gets her room right away. The outgoing AP has to survive with the couch, or the inflatable mattress, etc. All of my outgoing APs have been very understanding of the fact that I only have one room... and they probably remember what its like your first few weeks with a new family. You really NEED some down time and privacy.
This has always worked reasonable well for us, and we've only had the outgoing APs stay no more than 3-6 days past the end of their contract. On two occasions, they have gone travelling, and then come back for a few days before leaving. I ALWAYS host them when they return. Frankly, I miss them by that point, and I WANT to see them one more time before they leave. But, then again, I've been very lucky with my au pairs. I've had some really great ones.
Anonymous
06/12/2013 07:51
Subject: How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
OP here. I'm not kicking her out on the street, I'm wondering how the transition between APs usually works since I've never done this before. I want to make sure we get a nice goodbye in for this AP and as nice a welcome and orientation as we gave our first. I'm also wondering how and when the room switch would occur if they were both there. I asked if most APs typically leave right away or if we're required to house them during their travel month. I really have no idea and I want to do this in a way that works for everyone - old AP, new AP, and us.
Anonymous
06/11/2013 21:38
Subject: How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
Anonymous wrote:If you could buy an ounce of the milk of human kindness, it would be good of you not to throw her out on the street.
+1 you sound like a piece of work OP
Anonymous
06/11/2013 19:45
Subject: How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
If you could buy an ounce of the milk of human kindness, it would be good of you not to throw her out on the street.
Anonymous
06/11/2013 14:50
Subject: How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
PP here - as for how to nicely do it, most AP's realize that once they are gone, the new AP will be coming to take care of "their" children. You should ask for the current AP's help in getting things ready for the new AP so that they have as good a year as she did. They may be sad for a day or two, but its not like they can expect to live with you forever. Its part of moving on.
Anonymous
06/11/2013 14:48
Subject: Re:How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
We typically had our AP move out of her room the day before the new AP arrived. We have a guest room, but a couch and luggage storage area is fine. You need to ask her about her plans for her travel month. Its a travel month, not a "hang around your HM's house" month. If she's not traveling, then she is expected to return home. The agency will book her flight home pretty much anytime during that month that the au pair and you agree to (usually mid-week though). We typically stored AP's luggage during her travel time, and then they usually come back to say good-bye and pack for a couple days before leaving for good. We were fine with that - it made for a nice transition between APs.
Anonymous
06/11/2013 14:20
Subject: How to nicely tell our au pair I need her to leave on her last working day?
We have matched with our second au pair who will be arriving the week after our first au pair's last work day. I know au pairs have a "travel month," and I guess I presumed she would be traveling and that our requirement to house her ended after her last work day. I'd like to confirm her understanding of that too so we don't have awkwardness where I think she's leaving and she stays and I need the room for our next au pair. How have you host parents dealt with this? Have your au pairs left on their last work day or what? Sorry - new to this host parenting thing!