Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:59
Subject: Re:Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'm interviewing a potential nanny who came highly recommended from a good friend who will no longer need her once their kids go to school full time in the fall. Other than having a personality clash or a ridiculously unreasonable rate, I'm pretty sure we'll be hiring her. However, I've mentioned to a couple of friends that she'll be bringing her toddler along while taking care of my baby and they've all made a disapproving face. Is anyone else in a situation where their nanny brings along their kid and have you had any issues with that?
I originally didn't see an issue. I mean with daycare, one person is in charge of looking after several children. Thoughts?
You should definitely search past threads on this old topic. There are almost no advantages to you, as an MB, to agree to a nanny bringing her own child.
The only true advantage is financial. If a nanny brings her own child, you are in a nanny share. Therefore, you should pay nanny share rates. In DC, you should pay $9-$10/hr for the share. You should pay less than your nanny to compensate you for hosting the share, taking on the liability of another child being cared for in your home, and on the wear and tear on your home for hosting a share. Also, you need to carefully consider what your child will miss out on as a result her child's schedule. For example, if her child is younger than yours, then her child's nap schedule will affect the activities your child can participate in.
The disadvantages to you are obvious. Liability, schedules, sharing a nanny who has a greater investment in her child than your own, additional expenses if she expects you to provide lunch and other premium perks normally afforded professional nannies. A nanny who brings her own child is not professional. You may appreciate the financial advantages, and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is nothing professional about bringing one's one child, no matter what the promises from the nanny that they will be treated equal in the share.
If you decide to do this, structure your work agreement carefully, invest in cameras, and plan to spend more than you would have to if you employed a professional nanny or entered into a true nanny share with an unrelated family.
OP, please don't be scared off by this crap. Most of it is incorrect but I won't derail your thread by pinpointing the errors. I'd concern yourself with the people you know - your friend who recommended her, your impression of her, her references, and anyone else you consult and ignore the toxic people on this forum.
The only point I absolutely MUST contradict is that she can't possibly be a professional. We have no idea who she is or how professional she is, BUT many professional nannies bring their own children. In fact, a career nanny TYPICALLY does bring her kids at some point in time, because this is how she makes a living. The fact that your candidate, OP, will be bringing her toddler tells us nothing at all about how professional she is.
There is nothing toxic about the post or poster you urge OP to disregard. As another MB, I think she made some very valid points. Hiring a nanny who brings her children to work means participating in a nanny share, and there are both advantages and disadvantages to shares. The biggest advantage is typically cost savings. Expect to pay at least $15 per hour for a nanny caring for one infant, but $9-10 per hour for one slot in a two-child nanny share.
Some nannies feel they should be able to bring their child to work and get paid as if they were focusing solely on your child, so they try to convince you that having their child around will benefit you because your child will have a playmate or surrogate sibling. This is questionable. Most parents with two children recognize that the second child gets less attention early on than the first child got. Most also feel that this disadvantage of being #2 is ultimately offset by the benefits of growing up with a sibling. However, a nanny's child is unlikely to be a long-term presence in your child's life, so your child may face the negatives of being a second child (less one-on-one adult interaction) without reaping the benefits. There are many ways to get the positives (socialization) for your child without entering into a share.
In your case, it may be that the friend's recommendation and the nanny's personality and credentials are enough to get you past the negatives. Only you can make that choice.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:49
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
Anonymous wrote:FYI, 17:23 is our hateful control freak. You'll soon come to recognize her as our perpetual doom and gloom imaginary "market rate" know-it-all. In reality there's no such thing as "market rate" in the nanny world until we begin to collect actual data. Random polls among your girlfriends or neighbors does not translate into "market rate".
+1000000000
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:42
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
Anonymous wrote:I would ask specific questions in the interview about how she will handle various situations:
- Both kids are crying / being needy for different reasons
- Infant napping, toddler wants to play. Is your baby going to be home for all naps, or napping in stroller so toddler doesn't get bored?
- Classes / commitments that she needs to bring toddler to
- As the kids get older, if you want her to take your baby to a class / activity, will you have to pay for both kids?
- Food for toddler
This is a good list of questions for the nanny. Also consider the following:
What she will do if her child is sick. Do you want the illness brought into your home and around your infant, or would you prefer that the nanny use sick leave to care for her child at her own home?
Is it okay with you if the nanny takes your child along to her child's MD appointments, shopping for her child's needs, etc.
Do you want the nanny to take on meal preparation for your toddler or other housekeeping tasks. If so, given that four year olds don't nap much, how will will the nanny accomplish these things while your child naps but hers is awake, so that the chores don't cut into her ability to engage with your child during his or her awake hours.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:35
Subject: Re:Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
Anonymous wrote:I'm interviewing a potential nanny who came highly recommended from a good friend who will no longer need her once their kids go to school full time in the fall. Other than having a personality clash or a ridiculously unreasonable rate, I'm pretty sure we'll be hiring her. However, I've mentioned to a couple of friends that she'll be bringing her toddler along while taking care of my baby and they've all made a disapproving face. Is anyone else in a situation where their nanny brings along their kid and have you had any issues with that?
I originally didn't see an issue. I mean with daycare, one person is in charge of looking after several children. Thoughts?
You should definitely search past threads on this old topic. There are almost no advantages to you, as an MB, to agree to a nanny bringing her own child.
The only true advantage is financial. If a nanny brings her own child, you are in a nanny share. Therefore, you should pay nanny share rates. In DC, you should pay $9-$10/hr for the share. You should pay less than your nanny to compensate you for hosting the share, taking on the liability of another child being cared for in your home, and on the wear and tear on your home for hosting a share. Also, you need to carefully consider what your child will miss out on as a result her child's schedule. For example, if her child is younger than yours, then her child's nap schedule will affect the activities your child can participate in.
The disadvantages to you are obvious. Liability, schedules, sharing a nanny who has a greater investment in her child than your own, additional expenses if she expects you to provide lunch and other premium perks normally afforded professional nannies. A nanny who brings her own child is not professional. You may appreciate the financial advantages, and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is nothing professional about bringing one's one child, no matter what the promises from the nanny that they will be treated equal in the share.
If you decide to do this, structure your work agreement carefully, invest in cameras, and plan to spend more than you would have to if you employed a professional nanny or entered into a true nanny share with an unrelated family.
OP, please don't be scared off by this crap. Most of it is incorrect but I won't derail your thread by pinpointing the errors. I'd concern yourself with the people you know - your friend who recommended her, your impression of her, her references, and anyone else you consult and ignore the toxic people on this forum.
The only point I absolutely MUST contradict is that she can't possibly be a professional. We have no idea who she is or how professional she is, BUT many professional nannies bring their own children. In fact, a career nanny TYPICALLY does bring her kids at some point in time, because this is how she makes a living. The fact that your candidate, OP, will be bringing her toddler tells us nothing at all about how professional she is.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:33
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
FYI, 17:23 is our hateful control freak. You'll soon come to recognize her as our perpetual doom and gloom imaginary "market rate" know-it-all. In reality there's no such thing as "market rate" in the nanny world until we begin to collect actual data. Random polls among your girlfriends or neighbors does not translate into "market rate".
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:24
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
OP, you basically want her to have the common sense intelligence that a mother of two children would have. Assuming she's a good intelligent person, it'll be a beautiful experience for all.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:23
Subject: Re:Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
I'm interviewing a potential nanny who came highly recommended from a good friend who will no longer need her once their kids go to school full time in the fall. Other than having a personality clash or a ridiculously unreasonable rate, I'm pretty sure we'll be hiring her. However, I've mentioned to a couple of friends that she'll be bringing her toddler along while taking care of my baby and they've all made a disapproving face. Is anyone else in a situation where their nanny brings along their kid and have you had any issues with that?
I originally didn't see an issue. I mean with daycare, one person is in charge of looking after several children. Thoughts?
You should definitely search past threads on this old topic. There are almost no advantages to you, as an MB, to agree to a nanny bringing her own child.
The only true advantage is financial. If a nanny brings her own child, you are in a nanny share. Therefore, you should pay nanny share rates. In DC, you should pay $9-$10/hr for the share. You should pay less than your nanny to compensate you for hosting the share, taking on the liability of another child being cared for in your home, and on the wear and tear on your home for hosting a share. Also, you need to carefully consider what your child will miss out on as a result her child's schedule. For example, if her child is younger than yours, then her child's nap schedule will affect the activities your child can participate in.
The disadvantages to you are obvious. Liability, schedules, sharing a nanny who has a greater investment in her child than your own, additional expenses if she expects you to provide lunch and other premium perks normally afforded professional nannies. A nanny who brings her own child is not professional. You may appreciate the financial advantages, and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is nothing professional about bringing one's one child, no matter what the promises from the nanny that they will be treated equal in the share.
If you decide to do this, structure your work agreement carefully, invest in cameras, and plan to spend more than you would have to if you employed a professional nanny or entered into a true nanny share with an unrelated family.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 17:17
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
I would ask specific questions in the interview about how she will handle various situations:
- Both kids are crying / being needy for different reasons
- Infant napping, toddler wants to play. Is your baby going to be home for all naps, or napping in stroller so toddler doesn't get bored?
- Classes / commitments that she needs to bring toddler to
- As the kids get older, if you want her to take your baby to a class / activity, will you have to pay for both kids?
- Food for toddler
- Both kids are crying / being needy for different reasons
- Infant napping, toddler wants to play. Is your baby going to be home for all naps, or napping in stroller so toddler doesn't get bored?
- Classes / commitments that she needs to bring toddler to
- As the kids get older, if you want her to take your baby to a class / activity, will you have to pay for both kids?
- Food for toddler
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:54
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
A lot of MBs will tell you to never do it, or personally had a bad experience, but I agree with others that the fact that she came recommended from a good friend speaks volumes.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:35
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
^^ ok thanks! I figured the recommendation was more important especially from a trusted friend.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:29
Subject: Re:Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
The key to your scenario is that she comes recommended by a friend. If you trust your friend's judgement and referral there shouldn't be any issues.
A few nannies who bring their own children along with them do behave inappropriately, but the vast majority take their jobs very seriously and all are completely capable of handling two children at a time.
A few nannies who bring their own children along with them do behave inappropriately, but the vast majority take their jobs very seriously and all are completely capable of handling two children at a time.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:26
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
My old mb was looking for a nanny who had another child to bring along. MB loved the idea of DC adapting to having another child around. Especially since DC was then an only child and mb was planning on having another child soon.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:21
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
No, I haven't ready anything. I guess I'll go ahead and do a forum search
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:18
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
Have you already read any of the other threads on this topic? Some MBs love the idea (even without a fee reduction) and others (SW) hate the idea.
Anonymous
06/07/2013 15:10
Subject: Potential Nanny will bring their toddler along
I'm interviewing a potential nanny who came highly recommended from a good friend who will no longer need her once their kids go to school full time in the fall. Other than having a personality clash or a ridiculously unreasonable rate, I'm pretty sure we'll be hiring her. However, I've mentioned to a couple of friends that she'll be bringing her toddler along while taking care of my baby and they've all made a disapproving face. Is anyone else in a situation where their nanny brings along their kid and have you had any issues with that?
I originally didn't see an issue. I mean with daycare, one person is in charge of looking after several children. Thoughts?
I originally didn't see an issue. I mean with daycare, one person is in charge of looking after several children. Thoughts?