Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Well that was REALLY shitty of you.

Anonymous wrote:I once worked for a family who lived in my city (Chicago). They lived in a crappy area and told me they'd be moving to a better area that was closer to me. They put their loft on the market, but I guess no one was biting. Anyway. I got back from a mini vacation the day after Memorial Day and they told me they'd decided they were moving to a town 3 hours away and they wouldn't need me anymore. I had two weeks to find a new job.

Fast forward to the weekend before my last week. I needed to leave 15 minutes early one day to go to an interview. I texted mb. She was furious that I was "already looking for a new job when they hadn't even left yet" ummm...what did she expect. Anyway. She was absolutely not budging on letting me leave a few minutes early, so I told her I wouldn't be coming in that last week and it was absolutely not fair of her to expect me not to find a new job.

I went on that interview and fell in LOVE with the family and child and have been happily working there for two years.

That family was just terrible in other ways as well, so I'm not exactly devastated about it, and I don't feel a bit guilty. I could write a novel bout the horror that was the five months I worked for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well...our situation was much different.

We are the MB/DB and felt that we were very generous and kind to our nanny. When she let us know that she wanted to take a vacation to visit her husband's family (in a far and distant land) coincided with a business trip that our entire family was going on...we eagerly agreed. We asked her to take all the time she wanted...begged her actually, to take more time...because we knew the trip was long, and expensive, and knew that once they got there they may want to stay longer...but she said no, that she couldn't be away for that long, and she needed the income.

We arranged for temporary child care for the time she was going to be gone, went through all the hassle of taxes etc. for a new nanny...had the nanny live with us, because it was more convenient, blah...blah...blah...it was a HUGE effort.

She called the night she was supposed to have returned...she was staying an extra week, and could we be flexible and allow her to stay?

She was fired on the spot.

We were in turmoil...I had to head off the next morning for another business trip...my husband had to stay home with the kids and find another nanny. But honestly, it was worth the chaos.

She has not worked since...and she has never asked for a reference. Maybe good for her...maybe she got her Associates degree because she had the extra free time...I don't know.

BUT, in our area, it would have definitely been helpful if she had made sure she retained our letter of recommendation. Bad reps and news travels fast in our town.

Her request/timing was immature and unprofessional. But you fired her on the spot?? After you basically told her before going to take as much time as she likes? You're exactly the kind of MB every nanny is wary of and exactly why we quit with as little notice as possible if there is even an inkling that our MB is like you. Thanks for posting! Now we can all stop pretending these MBs are simply a figment of nannies' imaginations.

Anonymous wrote:Not only are you screwing the parents, you are affecting the kids as well.

Anonymous wrote:Well...our situation was much different.

We are the MB/DB and felt that we were very generous and kind to our nanny. When she let us know that she wanted to take a vacation to visit her husband's family (in a far and distant land) coincided with a business trip that our entire family was going on...we eagerly agreed. We asked her to take all the time she wanted...begged her actually, to take more time...because we knew the trip was long, and expensive, and knew that once they got there they may want to stay longer...but she said no, that she couldn't be away for that long, and she needed the income.

We arranged for temporary child care for the time she was going to be gone, went through all the hassle of taxes etc. for a new nanny...had the nanny live with us, because it was more convenient, blah...blah...blah...it was a HUGE effort.

She called the night she was supposed to have returned...she was staying an extra week, and could we be flexible and allow her to stay?

She was fired on the spot.

We were in turmoil...I had to head off the next morning for another business trip...my husband had to stay home with the kids and find another nanny. But honestly, it was worth the chaos.

She has not worked since...and she has never asked for a reference. Maybe good for her...maybe she got her Associates degree because she had the extra free time...I don't know.

BUT, in our area, it would have definitely been helpful if she had made sure she retained our letter of recommendation. Bad reps and news travels fast in our town.

Anonymous wrote:Sure, this sounds like the best decision for you in the short term.

It also sounds short sighted, unprofessional, and nasty.

If you did this with me you'd need to be pretty certain you never wanted a reference. I can respect you finding another job and giving appropriate notice. I don't respect you handling in the way you frame.

Of course you have to look out for yourself, but you have to live with yourself also. I've been blindsided w/ a termination and it's rotten. I would only blindside my nanny if she stole, harmed my child (or put them in danger), or betrayed our trust is some deep/significant way.

Even though it seems clear that nannying won't be a long-term profession for you, it is your profession now and the ethics you are demonstrating will be as questionable in your future employment, regardless of what the profession is, as they are in how you are handling these jobs now.

But maybe you're just one of our trolls looking for entertainment and I've responded like Pavlov's dog. I'd actually prefer that to wondering what poor families are employing you in good faith.