Anonymous wrote:I guess you're a parent that CAN'T go on vacation without help, how come you can't manage your own kids??

You got me. I am a parent who CAN'T go on vacation without my AP. I am helpless and completely incapable to maintaining control over my household without the constant support of my AP. Without her my children would hear no books, play no games, eat no food, attend no classes, follow no rules, establish no morals, make no friends, never brush their teeth, take no baths or ever really feel love. When she goes on vacation I actually hire another nanny to help me manage the desperate 7 days that she is gone. I have a weekend nanny to cover her days off and an evening nanny to cover the night feedings and wake-ups. In fact, I am considering allowing her to adopt them because I am just THAT helpless.

Bravo, you win, if that is what you really need to hear to let you feel you have won your point on an issue and relationship that you actually don't understand. Much luck in life, PP, you will need it.

I guess you're a parent that CAN'T go on vacation without help, how come you can't manage your own kids??

Anonymous wrote:We're not talking about treating an AP like a member of the family ... but about parents who go on vacation and still need someone to watch their kids ... Why did they have them in the first place if they need help during their vacation???

AP who go with their host families on vacation should be on vacation as well and not work, except for some babysitting at night.

They get two weeks vacation, which they can spend as the chose. You are missing the point of the pp and the entire point of the AP program.

I am a nanny and I don't have any kids.

I would take someone on vacation with me and the kids for several reasons.

1. To get some adult time.
2. Kids nap and go to bed early. This time can be used by parents to do things kids don't want to do (antiques, late dinners) but you need someone to stay with the kids. The kids are more settled if its someone who knows the routine
3. To have someone to share the cooking and general tasks with: if one person does the cooking on vacation it doesn't feel like a vacation for long.
4. Adult to kid ratio. I would be terrified taking 3 kids to the beach, or to a theme park or super busy crowded place with two adults. With three adults I feel like you are less likely to lose a kid. I feel this ratio is especially important near water.

Yes going on vacation is about relaxing and spending time with the family. But if by taking along an extra person it makes it easier to relax (and to get one on one time with each of your kids!) I think its a great idea. Yes some families may take their nanny on holiday and then dump the kids with the nanny, but thats not most families and certainly not most AP's

We usually go to the beach for a week and take our au pair. Sometimes they only stay part of the week if they want to go out with their friends on the weekend. We have them babysit the first night so Mom and Dad can go to the grocery store, 3 other nights so M&D can go out for nice dinners or out with friends, and one afternoon so M&D can go shopping. She also sometimes takes the kids to the playground or down to the beach in the morning so M&D can sleep in, but that is not part of the official job schedule. The AP also sometimes runs to the store mid-week to pick up a few things.

We're not talking about treating an AP like a member of the family ... but about parents who go on vacation and still need someone to watch their kids ... Why did they have them in the first place if they need help during their vacation???

AP who go with their host families on vacation should be on vacation as well and not work, except for some babysitting at night.

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if that's not helful, that's just the truth. Like it or not.

Why are you so judgmental? The purpose of the AP program is to accept the person into your home and treat them like a member. I think it would be exceptionally rude to plan a wonderful vacation and then leave your AP behind. My APs have come on all vacations with us that do not conflict with her own vacation plans. During these vacations, while she is technically working, having the parents there taking the primary caretaker role, together with many other relatives (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) then her "working" hours are really just spent hanging out with our family and developing personal relationships with each, while the kids play. She is an equal caretaker to the children as are the parents. If you have a good relationship with your AP and are a respectful MB or DB, then your each help out equally - one entertains DC while another packs the beach bag and the other tidies up after breakfast. That is the true spirit of the program. While technically MB/DB could leave all children related issues as the sole responsibility of the AP, I would imagine they would quickly be facing a request for a rematch. That is just not how someone who respects their AP or the AP program acts. The purpose of the program is one of inclusion. This is very different than the objective view of a nanny position (while I understand many nannies are equally welcomed into a family, I do not believe it is the general rule or expectation).

To the OP's question - we do what others have mentioned. Discuss any special things AP would like to see or do while we are there and make sure she has the chance to do them - to the point that we make it a priority. We also plan one or two nights where we head out for a dinner without the DCs so she knows she will probably have to work two nights. Other than that, she pretty much works a shortened day and I carve out specific full days that she will have off. While I understand you want to stay flexible with what you do and when, you should try to identify at east one day when your AP will be fully off and free to do what she wants. She is provided the 36 hours under the program.

Who cares if that's not helful, that's just the truth. Like it or not.

Anonymous wrote:Can't you take care of your own kids during your vacation?
Geez ... Why have kids if you don't wanna act like a parent!

Not helpful. I loved going on vacations with families.

Can't you take care of your own kids during your vacation?
Geez ... Why have kids if you don't wanna act like a parent!

Anonymous wrote:You should tell her hot and uncomfortable FL is im summer. Maybe she would rather stay here.

+1
She might be too hot to enjoy it. Where is she from, OP?

You should tell her hot and uncomfortable FL is im summer. Maybe she would rather stay here.

I'm not an Au Pair, but I have been on family vacations before.

Disney: There were two rides I really wanted to go on (pirates and haunted mansion). The family made sure I got to go on those two rides. Aside from that, I was fine with tagging along with them to the various shows/rides.
If it was a ride the adults really wanted to go on, I waited with the kids so they could go (I don't like roller coasters). I had a friend working at the themepark, so they gave me a night off so I could have dinner with her. Another day, there was a show I wanted to go see in Animal Kingdom, so they gave me a few hours to myself to go see the show.

For your Au Pair, it might be a good idea to let her know you'll have a pass for Magic Kingdom (or whichever park) and she can look online at the different rides. Maybe there are some she'd really like to try, and others she doesn't care about missing.

Beach: similar setup. One day I got to go off for a few hours with the car so I could go shopping at the outlet mall. When the kids napped in the afternoon, I had free time to myself (which I spent napping too, usually!)
A couple of nights if they were having family time with movies or games, I'd go off by myself to unwind and relax.
And one night I stayed behind with the kids while the parents went out for an adult dinner.

Hope that helps a little?

I'd start by looking at how many hours she can work and then trying to figure when you most need her.

Trip to the beach? (water, children) I would want her there. That will probably be a most of the day activity. maybe 9-4pm? Lots of bustling busy crowds at Disney world? I would want her there too.

There may be other places where you are thinking of going that you may not need her help for, try and give her time off then.

Let your AP know that this is a rough schedule, because it is a holiday and your schedule is a lot more fluid.

We're new to this program and were wondering how do you set your au pair's schedule when the family including the au pair goes on vacation together? We're taking our au pair with us to Florida this summer for 2 weeks and mutually agreed that she'll be working during that time. But, how do you set a schedule when we'll be doing various activities throughout the day/ week? Meaning we don't have a set itinerary for each day for example one day we'll go to Disney and another to the beach.