Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back. We have a room for her but it would mean sharing a bathroom with the kids and a floor with us in a townhouse. We're planning to move to a larger house in the next year or two but we feel like our kids and family could really benefit from the experience of an Au pair now (both logistics and culturally). We happen to live on a friendly block with lots of neighbors who rent out their in law suites so I thought that might be cool for them. I'm thinking they would still eat all meals with us, etc.

Do you live in VA? If so, town of Vienna, City of Falls Church, and other jurisdictions have syrict rules and fire regulations on renting to non-family members.

If it is legal living space, you can absolutely rent it out, no idea where you have the idea that you cannot. The only restriction is that you may not have more than 4 unrelated people in a SFH.

What you can do is let the AP sleep in the bedroom and share the bathroom with the kids ... and then you see with her if she agrees to move out to the basement in your neighboorhood. If the place is nicer, I bet she'll take it and everybody will be happy.

Anonymous wrote:OP back. We have a room for her but it would mean sharing a bathroom with the kids and a floor with us in a townhouse. We're planning to move to a larger house in the next year or two but we feel like our kids and family could really benefit from the experience of an Au pair now (both logistics and culturally). We happen to live on a friendly block with lots of neighbors who rent out their in law suites so I thought that might be cool for them. I'm thinking they would still eat all meals with us, etc.

Do you live in VA? If so, town of Vienna, City of Falls Church, and other jurisdictions have syrict rules and fire regulations on renting to non-family members.

The agencies won't allow it but I do think many APs would prefer to have their own space in the way you describe. I know when I was an AP many years ago I would have given anything to not have kids banging and shouting to use my/our bathroom while I was inside.

Anonymous wrote:Unless you live in a castle and have one bathroom per bedroom, the AP will be just fine sharing the kids bathroom.
She will probably be the one that cleans it up anyway.
Kids take their bath in the evening, AP showers in the morning ... they won't fight for space.

A lot (most) who have the money/lifestyle to afford an AP have a basement room and bathroom for her. There are some APs sharing a floor/bathroom with the children, but please don't act like its a non issue because it is. Some APs would be more open to it than others but it is definitely a drawback. They may not be fighting for space, but children are not the cleanest creatures on the planet, nor are they always respectful of privacy/other's belongings. Hopefully a family with this setup makes up for it in other ways (being a kind and fair host family, flexibility, less hours, other perks, etc).

Unless you live in a castle and have one bathroom per bedroom, the AP will be just fine sharing the kids bathroom.
She will probably be the one that cleans it up anyway.
Kids take their bath in the evening, AP showers in the morning ... they won't fight for space.

When I was an aupair I would have LOVED to have a basement suite away from the family and the kids waking me on my day off. That sounds like a dream job!!!

Anonymous wrote:The agency won't allow you to do that.

A bedroom and sharing a bathroom with the kids is what most Au Pairs have and she will be happy with it as well.

The former may or may not be true as far as a typical living arrangement(not in my experience), but do not assume the latter. You need to be upfront about the tight space and bathroom sharing so that you find someone who is prepared/willing to deal with it. Lets be honest. Very few adults are "happy" about sharing a bathroom with children. It would also be good if you could begin preparing your kids to respect the APs space, and being good "bathroom mates".

The agency won't allow you to do that.

A bedroom and sharing a bathroom with the kids is what most Au Pairs have and she will be happy with it as well.

OP back. We have a room for her but it would mean sharing a bathroom with the kids and a floor with us in a townhouse. We're planning to move to a larger house in the next year or two but we feel like our kids and family could really benefit from the experience of an Au pair now (both logistics and culturally). We happen to live on a friendly block with lots of neighbors who rent out their in law suites so I thought that might be cool for them. I'm thinking they would still eat all meals with us, etc.

I agree! I have heard of people who have small spaces, and as long as you disclose that when you are interviewing you could find an au pair who doesn't mind. Perhaps she was part of a large family at home and didn't have her own apartment type space she's coming from!

You do need to provide a separate space/room for the au pair though.

I don't think our au pair would be comfortable living apart from our family - she eats meals with us, hangs out with us, she's a part of the family. It would be strange if she just had a rental apartment and only saw us for "work hours".

Anonymous wrote:Idk if its allowed or not, but its not really in the spirit of the program. She's more than just a live-in employee. She's supposed to be like a member of the family. Not sure how she would get that experience living down the street.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Idk if its allowed or not, but its not really in the spirit of the program. She's more than just a live-in employee. She's supposed to be like a member of the family. Not sure how she would get that experience living down the street.

+1

Idk if its allowed or not, but its not really in the spirit of the program. She's more than just a live-in employee. She's supposed to be like a member of the family. Not sure how she would get that experience living down the street.

We're considering moving from a nanny to an Au pair. We're not sure our townhouse will be comfortable for an Au pair though so we're wondering if we could rent a basement apartment on our block for an Au pair to live in instead. Does anyone know if that's allowed?