Why does every thread go off onto the tangent of who is the primary caretaker.
MBs-Stop being so defensive and insecure, the truth is that there are nannies that do know their charges better than the parents do, and there are nannies that spend more time with the children than nannies do. In the latter case, yes the nanny is the primary caretaker. By definition this is a fact. That does not mean she is the parent, stop being so insecure about your role. You are the parent; quit feeling like you need the title Primary Caretaker when you are not. If you are also the primary caretaker by definition then great! Stop assuming all nannies are stupid, couldn't finish school, can't do any better etc. If you honestly thought this about your nanny why would you hire her to raise your children? Stop attacking people, internet courage is deceiving and making you into big bad wolves, which I am sure you don't actually act like irl with your nanny. Accept the fact that there are nannies out there with true expertise, and that many parents, first time or not hire these nannies for their expertise and trust them thoroughly with raising their children and would actually listen to them and adjust accordingly. If you don't have one that does not mean that none exist. Quit the overgeneralizing. Stop assuming that because you gave birth to a child means you are by default better at parenting, keep your mind and ears open, everyone can learn something at any point. (There are enough children in foster care and elsewhere to prove that being a parent does not automatically make you great at parenting.) Your nanny could very well add something valuable to your parenting skills if you will give her respect and a voice.
Nannies- Stop being so freaking bitter, resentful, and defensive! Yes your MBs and DBs have to work! Why do you feel the need to bash them at every turn because of this fact? If they didn't you wouldn't have a job! Are you mad at the fact that you have a job? I don't get it. Accept the reality that many MBs and DBs have great relationships with their children despite working. Accept the fact that you are not the child's parent, you are his/her caretaker, friend, guide, and whatever other role you play, but you will never be his/her parent. Stop attacking all MBs under some ridiculous umbrella, it just make you seem like you are envious of their circumstances. Do have loyalty to your charges, but also have respect and allegiance to your employers. Treat them as such, and address situations that make you so angry to attack people online. If it can't be solved find a family that suits YOU.
This forum can be worth so much more to us all if we stop attacking each other and work together, see our differences and work on creating a better environment for everyone. There is a reason most professions employ team based work, it creates a healthy environment that offers greater benefits. There is no reason the nanny industry cannot be the same. I know many of you will automatically put on your catty panties, but just think for a second, what is the harm in being respectful, cordial, and patient with each other? Does it harm anyone? No, we can all, including the children, benefit from a healthier environment. There are too many toxic commenters here and too few helpful ones. Let’s tip the scale to the positive!